Charlie Sheen, winning chemical freedom his way

Charlie Sheen, apex of winning and launcher of verbal torpedoes of truth, has issued a statement about his alleged relapse into illicit substance use. Oddly enough, it’s in a pseudo ee cummings style, because apparently that’s just how the words flow for him:

I can’t speak to anyone’s opinion or judgement.
I was there
they were not.
their tepid
hearsay is a baseless
static drone.
a mantra.
their theme.
I refuse to be held hostage by their ‘constitutional’
to judge those
who can and who do.


Walking the walk, and holding the throne as the Malibu Messiah, Sheen apologizes for nothing (not even the atrocious misspelling of privilege).

And why should he?

He’s harmed no one in the process of unleashing himself as a meme in Charlie’s Cocaine Circus™ (2011-2012) — the surreal and at times raw sensation — online and across all media spectrum. Quite frankly he’s made an entire crop of celebrity scandal mongers extremely wealthy over the past year during his so-called “meltdown” and is sticking it to the naysayers by remaining a hard-working actor who earns a better than decent living.

If he’s got down time to write more poetry, we’d love to see him tear some ‘constitutional’ assholes for the nabobs of all stripes.

UPDATE: One day you’re up, the next day you’re down. Get ready for the “new” Charlie Sheen of Anger Management on FX, where his cock and testicles might possibly have been removed and placed in an executive producer’s desk drawer.

According to a Rolling Stone magazine interview with Sheen (who made the cover), he’s apparently changing his tune to appease the nabobs. He says in the interview, “Clearly, a guy gets fired, his relationships are in the toilet, he’s off on some fucking tour, there’s nothing ‘winning’ about any of that. I mean, how does a guy who’s obviously quicksanded, how does he consider any of it a victory? I was in total denial.

I sincerely hope this is out of context. But if it isn’t I dare not look how far down he is going to be sinking in counter-culture relevance if Sheen is truly confessing to not being winning. Next thing you know he’ll be retracting the part about being from Mars.

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

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