Green beer Thursday, and a retarded libertarian plan

It’s not often that I get on the soapbox and tell people to go forth and do stuff, but here goes.

Ladies and Gentlemens of the Internets, my name is Stephen and I’m a Paultard.

Hi Stephen.

But it’s better than that, like Charlie Sheen owning that he’s banging 7 gram rocks and telling everyone it makes him invincible to Japan’s radiation, I figured why not own it: literally. So when coming up with clever ways to promote Ron Paul (and to a lesser degree, the paultard brand), it’s always helpful to participate in the world in ways that are fun and social at the same time. And what’s not more fun than joining in an yearly ethnic drinking festival, while wearing something Ron Paul. I’m not sure if the congressman is part Irish, but I’m not the kind of jerk who would ask for his birth certificate, so it’s cool.

As many of you probably know, advertising/brand placement is where the real magic happens, so I’m happy to do this for Paul. And to show off how daft we are at this brand placement thing: here’s a link to our facebook page, where we are encouraging you to LIKE US so that you GET THE CHANCE at posting pics on our glorious WALL. Pics of yourself being a fun part of this retarded brilliant libertarian plan.

As a side note: let the coolness of Ron Paul speak for itself, take a moment to have fun and NOT discuss politics (some of you can’t help yourselves, please do not refer to yourself as a paultard because people might actually think you are touched in the head and that’s bad for our newly minted brand).

Well that’s it for my words of convincing, but remember that if you chicken out and instead wear the clichéd shirt that says “Kiss me, I’m Irish” then you are making Ron Paul sad. Witness what you will wreak (photo credit Dan McCall):

That’s right, I’m not above using the emotional appeal to get you to join the cult of paultards drinking green beer. Go out there and be WINNING™

UPDATE 3/18: If you are late to the game and reading, you are still highly encouraged to party like a paultard over the weekend and send us pics. Drink responsibly.

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

3 Comments
  1. side note: I should probably shave so I do not appear to be a homeless person who was given a free Ron Paul shirt by the Salvation Army.

    1. We’re just trying to avoid the inevitable police mugshot photos of drunk people in Ron Paul t-shirts being arrested for public intox because: “Hey wouldn’t it be hilarious if we all went and peed on the Federal Reserve building at 4AM?”

      BTW, yes that would be hilarious.