Obama-Biden Gang declares “mission accomplished” for economic recovery

Much as they did with the war in Iraq, Obama and his brilliant team have come up with a totally awesome solution for the recession (or depression, as many would say): declare victory without leaving.

In Iraq, that meant that 50,000 US combat troops (reclassified as non-combat, but still engaged in combat) remained on the ground, along with a large number of independent military contractors. On the home front, it means we still have about 10% official unemployment, but more like 20% when those who are no longer counted as officially unemployed because they have been out of work too long are factored in, along with those who are employed part time and would like to be working full time. But, according to the “Mission Accomplished” team in power, the recession ended in June 2009. Not that anyone noticed, or anything.

The power of wishful thinking has long been known to work miracles, after all, and if we all close our eyes and pretend, we can just spend a bunch of money we don’t have, right? Click your heels three times and repeat after me: Happy times are here again, and Eastasia has always been at war with Oceania.