I am outraged. Where do our political authority figures get off? This is not the light-rail stop for the White House Basketball Court and Bar-B-Q. In between fixing our country and arguing about who’s suppose to be fixing our country, how are they finding the time to “Boom-shaka-laka” and “Razzle-Dazzle”?

I just can’t see these people playing a game of hoops. The first thing I think of when I hear “from long range”, is that Bush has found a slow person in his rifle scope from his back porch rocking chair. I mean, if Al Gore “puts up a brick” how do we know he’s not just building a chimney around John McCain?

But if they’re going to play, then I say it should be exciting.

When Dick Cheney is saying “he’s on fire”, part of you hopes that he had somehow caught on fire. And when Joe Biden is yelling to “get that outta here”, you can imagine he’s just talking about Sarah Palin. It thrills me to see a returning face though. Bill Clinton returns as a playable character from 17 years ago. As does The Gorilla, who is now sporting the Secretary of State look, and gets to watch, anytime Bill “jams it in”. No matter the outcome, Obama gets to “count it” because “whoomp, there it is”.

Maybe NBA Jam is how elections should be decided. If you can’t dunk or steal on your opponent then you don’t deserve to run my country.