Tom Cruise’s Dietary Habits Getting Pretty Scary

According to this source, Tom Cruise was taken out of context when stated that he planned to eat afterbirth (with “fava beans and a nice chianti”, I’d hope):

Cruise, 43, told GQ: “I’m gonna eat the placenta. I thought that would be good. Very nutritious. I’m gonna eat the cord and the placenta right there.” When it was pointed out that it would be a big meal, Cruise replied: “OK, maybe I won’t.”

While he may not be planning to consume Katie’s placenta, he still needs to eat some crow over his attack on South Park.

Update by Stephen VanDyke: In a similar vein, Hawaiians aren’t allowed by law to bury their children’s placenta even though it’s a religious duty. I guess if Cruise’s appetite was Scientology-endorsed (it’s not), I’d still laugh at it, but I’d have to side with him from a libertarian POV — no matter how gross I personally think it is.

Another Update by Stephen VanDyke: Apparently this was all a joke by Cruise (sadly, the Hawaiian story is true). Just goes to show how far out there he’s gotten thanks to his Scientology nuttery if some offhand joke is taken so seriously by so many.

Now if no one minds, I’m going to go vomit a little thanks to Stephen Gordon’s accompanying picture of choice.

Update by Stephen Gordon: It seems the two have successfully procreated. Hopefully the newborn Suri will rebel against her cultist father as she becomes a teen. Perhaps she’ll even like South Park (soon to be in it’s 25th season when she becomes of age).

6 Comments
  1. I took a childbirth class (with my wife, obv) and the instructor told us that she ate the afterbirth. But she was just as crazy as Cruise so I’m not sure that’s saying anything. I’m as repulsed by the thought now as I was then.

  2. With all the publicity it’s getting Cruise would do better to sell Katie and child’s refuse on Ebay and buy up a real stockpile of medical waste from us commoners.

  3. “”If he eats Katie’s placenta he will have gained 1/4 the power of the galactic overlord Xenu. The end is nigh.””

    Holy shit that made me spew coffee everywhere.

    Some people do actually eat the placenta…I think they are total nutjobs and can’t imagine how anyone could bring themselves to do such a thing….considering they weren’t cannibals to begin with…