Tom Cruise and the Church of Scientology Really Going off the Deep End

South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone not only push the limits, but they may now wax prophetic. From the concluding scene of “Trapped in the Closet”:

Tom Cruise: You made me look stupid. I’m gonna sue you, too.

Stan: Well, fine. Go ahead and sue me.

Cruise: I will. I’ll sue you in England.

President of Scientology: You are so sued, kid.

Stan: Well go on then, sue me.

President of Scientology: Were going too!

Stan: Okay! Good. Do it. I’m not scared of you. Sue me!

To my knowledge, no papers have (yet) been filed, despite Tom Cruise’s proclivity to challenge people who suggest that he’s a bit light in the loafers (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

It all started earlier this week when Issac Hayes (a Scientologist who provides the voice for the character Chef) is reported to have lost his chocolate salty balls by quitting the program:

“There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins,” the 63-year-old soul singer and outspoken Scientologist said.

Keep in mind that this comes from a man who not only insists that others suck his balls but who also has participated in a television program which had the Virgin Mary bleeding out her ass. It seems Matt Stone agrees:

Stone said: “In 10 years and over 150 episodes of South Park, Isaac never had a problem with the show making fun of Christians, Muslim, Mormons or Jews.

“He got a sudden case of religious sensitivity when it was his religion featured on the show.”

Now Andrew Sullivan is reporting that Cruise declared war on South Park and may be the force behind the pressure applied to Viacom to pull the re-run of the “Trapped in the Closet” episode. Cruise denies these allegations.

I’m of the (uninformed) opinion that the pressure more likely came directly from Church of Scientology, who were challeneged with this line from the show:

Stan: I’m not the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology is just a big fat global scam.

Comedy Central already has a track record of complying with extortion demands over religious issues, so this would be the obvious line of attack for Scientologists. Here’s John Henke’s take:

…and the well-known tendency of Scientology to file nuisance lawsuits to quash criticism – i.e., barratry. (“the purpose of the suit is to harass and discourage rather than to win” L. Ron Hubbard) Indeed, and in the interests of full disclosure, my own father’s ministry has been sued by the “Church” of Scientology and even given “a detailed description making it appear that Scientologists or agents of the church may have gained access to Watchman Fellowship’s Texas office without our knowledge.

Parker and Stone rarely leave any stone unturned, but they seem to have forgotten one.

Stan’s dad: “Wasn’t L. Ron Hubbard a science fiction writer?”

Head of Scientology: “Yes, but he was also a prophet who know the secret truth about the nature of life.”

Everyone knows that the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the One who knows the secret truth about the nature of life, but the creators of South Park seem reluctant to take on this diety.

Is South Park offensive? Hell, yes — that’s the intent. It’s also provocative and satirical and protected speech under the First Amendment. Comedy Central has the right to pull their programs from their line up — but as we’ve suggested before, you also have the right to voice your displeasure with their decision.

Perhaps Al Barger summarized the entire South Park phenonomon best:

South Park has gotten to be very good at stealthily committing acts of education against their unsuspecting audiences. They come looking for good old fashion poo and gay jokes, and get slipped significant factual educational information when they’re not looking.

It’s pathetic that a cartoon does a better job at political education than the main stream media, our elected politicians or the Republicans and Democrats. Let’s continue to support Parker and Stone.

If you missed the episode, download it here to form your own opinion. I thought it was funny as hell.

Stephen Gordon

I like tasteful cigars, private property, American whiskey, fast cars, hot women, pre-bailout Jeeps, fine dining, worthwhile literature, low taxes, original music, personal privacy and self-defense rights -- but not necessarily in this order.

  1. Matt and Trey’s response to Cruise’s blocking of the re-airing of the episode was priceless:
    “So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun!” the two said in a statement that seemed to parody Scientology as science fiction. “Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!”

  2. The Tom Cruise Scientology attack on South Park’s satire of L. Ron Hubbard’s science fiction religion is the Western equivalent of the Muslim violent intolerance of cartoons satirizing their prophet. Each takes itself with a deadly seriousness that drives an inability to tolerate ridicule criticism. The ugly fundamentalist truth is that both Scientology’s retribution and censorship of critics whom it objectifies as “suppressive persons” and the Muslim vow to kill “infidels” will smartly dispose of non-believers when either religion runs the show.

    It’s a pity Viacom’s greed and fear fuel the corporate corruption that enables the Scientology censorship agenda.

    South Park forever!

  3. I’ve got this episode taped so I can watch it anytime. Take that, CoS!

    Has anyone read material on the “Operation Clambake” website?

  4. Excellent post. I just nope this won’t be a continuing trend. Will the “church” ever change? Will the lawsuits ever stop? There’s such an issue of liberty within the whole thing. Regardless, South Park is awesome and I hope it keeps on.

  5. Tom Cruise, you’re not as good as Leonardo DiCaprio, Gene Hackman or that kid from Napoleon Dynamite!