This SOTU, don’t just Drink… Gamble

state of the unionEvery year, there’s the obligatory drinking games for the president’s State of the Union address to Congress. This year we anticipate nothing less than a continuation of that trend, albeit with more shots for each mention of New Orleans and a mandatory 3-minute keg stand if Michael Brown’s role in FEMA is mentioned at all.

But why stop at drinking when you could score some loot from online gambling? Well, thanks to gambling sites like Bodog, now you can place wagers on how many times George Bush will say “Patriot Act”, “Evil”, and even “Space Terrorism” (via Wonkette).

Just be sure to place your wagers before slamming too many hurricane cocktails. Our money is on Katrina relief and disaster recovery rhetoric taking center stage this year.

  1. If you’re desirous of intoxication, be sure to skip objections to “nation building,” promises of the “judicious use of our military,” “that is up to each individual” and “not the domain of the federal government.”

  2. and of course the usual lies will be told – “the State Of The Unoin is strong” when in reality the USA is weaker socially, politically, fiscally, and in every index known to measure the health of a nation.

    JUST ONCE, I’d like to hear a Congressman or Senator stand up and shout out how can we be strong when we are close to 50 trillion dollars in debt? But I’ll never hear it – they would be taken away as a terrorist for daring to speak out against Our Great Leader and The Homeland.

  3. While I tend to agree with Lew Rockwell when he says, “I would rather eat my keyboard than watch the State of the Union speech”, the idea of wagering how many times Bush will utter certain predictable inanities, does sound like fun.

  4. I can bet there’s one name he won’t be saying… and that’s “Osama Bin Forgotten” :)

    As for the hot ticket words this year… I’m betting it will be “freedom” “terrorist” and “Iran”.

    How about a new thread with a contest? HoT reader that accurate picks the correct noun that is used the most wins (insert 20 dollar prize here). I’d certainly be more inclined to watch the speech with my buzzword bingo card.

  5. In the past, I’m pretty sure that the LP has responded to the SOTU … on its web site. Seems like it would be worth a little money, even if only C-SPAN covered it, to have the national chair or some other prominent LP spokesperson do a live response to the speech. A short one. Such as:

    “Ladies and Gentlemen, the President has given you his estimate of the state of the union, and the Democratic leadership has responded.

    “Here’s the Libertarian Party’s position: We’re just fucked No way around it, and the only way out of it is to stop voting for these boobs.

    “Thank you for your attention, have a nice evening, and God Bless America.”

    Tom Knapp