The Truth on RFID Revealed


February 31, 2008 — As a result of the continued rioting in Los Angeles, New York City and the District of Columbia over forced RFID implants in the hands or foreheads of American citizens, the federal government announced last month they are stepping down their enforcement efforts of the new Random Access Identification Program (RAIP). Despite the Supreme Court decision in Alex Jones v. Alberto Gonzales, the political cost of enforcing RAIP during an election year seems to be outweigh the national security benefit of knowing the location and spending habits of all Americans.

In spite of the recent government downplay regarding mandatory RFID implants, a private source has revealed to the Hammer of Truth that the real number of implantations has increased dramatically within the gay community and female population. Because of this report from a confidential informant, HoT sent ace reporter Stephen VanDyke underground to expose this breaking news story.

Via his radio directional equipment safe secret decoder ring, VanDyke has managed to sneak his report to our secret overseas server location so we can bring the news to directly to you.

At great risk of personal jeopardy, I managed to sneak into the secret annual Bilderberg, CFR, ZOG, Trilateral Commission and Illuminati conference held in room 666 of the United Nations Building. While I didn’t have an invitation, I announced that I was a member of the Bush/Kerry family and HoT’s CI had shown me the secret handshake.

At the conference, Henry Kissinger’s secret twin brother revealed the heinous plot. The UN plan (code named Operation Sperm) involves using Black Oil to infect sexually active males with nanotechnology, which in turn quickly spreads to gay and female populations. Dr. Josef Mengele (who is actually still alive due to his work on the Methuselah Projekt) explained to the audience that the Black Oil doesn’t work well with gay and female targets unless they are dressed in color coordinated clothing.

With my secret Minox camera embedded in a pack of Camels, I was able to sneak a photograph of one slide of the RFID nanotechnology. The original was taken by David Percy, whom the Rockefeller clan consigliere claims is due the proper credit for the faked Apollo moon landing.

Unfortunately, VanDyke’s transmission broke off at this point, and HoT has no clue to his fate. HoT sent an official FOIA request about VanDyke’s whereabouts and condition to CIA Director Michael Hayden on the hopes that Hayden’s take on transparent government is as clear as his view on the Fourth Amendment.

Stephen Gordon

I like tasteful cigars, private property, American whiskey, fast cars, hot women, pre-bailout Jeeps, fine dining, worthwhile literature, low taxes, original music, personal privacy and self-defense rights -- but not necessarily in this order.

  1. Erik: Gordon’s just having a laugh at the conspiracy theorists. It’s the weekend, so perhaps you should have a round of whatever he’s pouring. :P

  2. I’m glad that secret double-triple agents once removed like Van Dyke are on the case.

  3. Don’t overlook the market for political fiction, guys! You may have a bestseller some day.

  4. The most exciting fiction is based on what’s almost true or what we’re afraid might come true.

  5. I figured libertarians would be against implants yes/no?

    Sometimes the truth is said in jest…

  6. Rick,

    I know not what course others may take, but I’d sure as hell be against them.

  7. sweet!

    And “conspiracy” or not… they are on their way… most likely to protect us against “terrorists” of one form or another.

    I’d say… 4-8 years from now it could come reality. The technology is there, it just needs to be weened on the public with some stupid benefit (“it will make you safer”) BS

  8. I heard they already put them in the polio and other vaccines that are mandatory


  9. Sure Alex Jones can come off as a kook and it’s too easy to make fun of him. But do you really think that the potential police state application of this technology isn’t a wet dream of every control freak government bureaucrat or politician out there? Don’t you think they would try to get away with everything the American sheeple will tolerate?

  10. Sol,

    I’m not making fun of Jones or anyone else (except perhaps Hayden, Bush and Kerry). I’m just trying to inject some humor into the overall situation. It’s Sunday evening, a slow news day, and sometimes relaxing and laughing at ourselves a bit takes the edge off a bit.

  11. Sol — my apologies. I was making fun of VanDyke and his secret decoder ring.

  12. Work that up as a skit in Portland and I’d make a contribution to see it! Hilarious!

    All the best!

  13. The only thing that matters to me… is how many songs can the chip store

    Introducing the new “iPod capsule”

    carrying your songs with you! you won’t even know it’s there!

  14. Remeber- aluminum foil has been proven to block RFID as well as government and alien thought-reading technology.

  15. Scott,

    you’re so clever. I guess we really don’t have anything to worry about now that you have linked to the tin-foil hat page. Such a relief.

  16. Conspiracy is impossible within government! Our politicians and bureaucrats wouldn’t possibly engage in such a thing! They are perfectly moral and ethical good people! No, conspiracy never happens, not even in back room deals! Not on capital hill.

    Now those oil companies, they are conspiring against us to screw us! Private companies are naughty enough to do this to us! Only private companies would conspire and collude in a conspiratorial way! We need our honest congressmen, all 535 of them to protect us from this!

  17. If there were an earth quake in 2020 in L.A. and the city is completely shut down then I can see people getting Verichipped so they can be giving government supplies as social services. At that point L.A. will be under Marshell Law. RFID News

  18. For those who worry about RFID, just play with a tesla coil. The massive high frequency radio waves generated by it will fry any implant, and any electronics you happen to have near by. The best anti-bug device is a million-volt tesla coil in the middle of a room, just don’t get to close or the implants wont be the only thing that gets fried.

    This is an outrage; MS Word doesn’t have “tesla” in the dictionary. The conspiracy is well on its way!

    In all seriousness do you think the government is competent enough to pull off something like this? I do not! Some one would squeal!