The Great Islamofascist Penis Pump Conspiracy

pumpitup.gifWanna know how to tell when they’ve taken airport security precautions too seriously? It’s not the bottle of contraband nail polish they “stole” from my wife last weekend. It’s not even when they busted Rush Limbaugh for not being able to get it up without chemical enhancement. It’s penis pumps!
Fear of being caught with such a lethal device, according to this report, led the notorious culprit to confess to carrying a bomb. Here’s the down and dirty:

Cook County prosecutors say a 29-year-old man traveling with his mother desperately didn’t want her to know he’d packed a sexual aid for their trip to Turkey. So he told security it was a bomb, officials said.
Madin Azad Amin was stopped by officials on Aug. 16 after guards found an object in his baggage that resembled a grenade, prosecutors said.
When officers asked him to identify it, Amin said it was a bomb, said Cook County Assistant State’s Attorney Lorraine Scaduto.
He later told officials he’d lied about the item because his mother was nearby and he didn’t want her to hear that it was part of a penis pump, Scaduto said.

According to the article, Amin faces up to three years in prison if convicted. I guess that’s not too bad, as we will have been sentenced to eight years under the Bush regime by the time of the next Inaugural Ball.
Graphic courtesy of the Mayo Clinic this website.