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This was originally going to be a post dissecting previous State of the Union addresses by president George Bush, with context on how what he says doesn’t always translate into reality (which is really just a nice way of saying he’s a liar). But the fact is, after 5 years, the country is so neatly divided into the camps of people who either a) think the president is full of shit, or b) think the president talks a good game, that for me to dissect anything is really a waste of time.
Most of you who read this blog are aware that Bush is simply going to blow smoke up our ass at 9pm ET tonight, offering more laughable government solutions to every problem we’ve ever encountered in the history of mankind (or conversely, private solutions that conveniently fit into the wallets of crony capitalists jacked into the lobbying scene).
So fuck it, let’s drink. If the government is going to grow to megalithic proportions under Bush Republicanism, we might as well get drunk enough to see double Bush’s: the one in the red tie who’s talking a good game and one in a blue tie just laughing and making faces.
# Bush begins a sentence with “British Intelligence”: Drink an entire bottle of whatever you were drinking three years ago, throw it at the TV
# Bush mentions the people of New Orleans: Cry into your beer, then drink it.
# Bush mentions the people of New Orleans in a positive light: Shot of bitters.
# Bush mentions Hurricane Katrina: Tell person sitting next to you that you’ll refill their glass, leave town for a couple days.
# Bush mentions Hurricane Katrina in a positive light: Check the label.
Previously: This SOTU, don’t just Drink… Gamble