Penn Jillette said he doesn’t know what “Common sense, shoved up your ellipsis” means. I thought I’d be nice enough to provide him an example.
Oklahoma Republican State Representative clearly needs some common sense shoved up her ellipsis. She just proposed a bill designed to favor some businesses over others while depriving many of their First Amendment rights. She also wants to redefine sex and nudity along the way. :
“State of nudity” means any bare exposure of the skin located on the body of a person below the armpits and above the knees.
Armpits and knees? I guess this rules out the beach and swimming pool, women wearing cropped tops, old men with wobbly knees wearing walking shorts and many baby pictures (especially those wearing only diapers). She wishes to apply this standard to sexually-oriented materials:
“Sexually-oriented materials” means any textual, pictorial, or three-dimensional material that depicts nudity, sexual conduct, sexual excitement, or sadomasochistic abuse…
This seems to cover mannequins in the lingerie department, entertainment and style magazines, and good portions of The Bible. This material would be sold at a sexually-oriented business:
“Sexually-oriented business” means any business which offers its patrons goods of which a substantial portion are sexually-oriented materials. Any business where more than ten percent (10%) of display space is used for sexually-oriented materials shall be presumed to be a sexually-oriented business;
I guess the grocery store will still be legal, even if they sell Trojans and KY Jelly. Not so sure about the magazine stand at the airport, though. Many lingerie shops are described with this definition.
She’s not trying to directly outlaw the lingerie shop or bookstore, but she does plan to outlaw their right to advertise outdoors, and to prohibit minors from visiting such premises. Since bikinis are clearly sexual in nature (just ask any straight male), swim shops that market 50% of their products to women will be affected. Book store owners will have to do a count of magazines with J-Lo and Britney Spears photos so they don’t cross that 10% threshold. Victoria’s Secret will no longer be able to display its wares, and kiddies can’t tag along with mommy when she’s shopping there.
The way I figure it, HoT just shoved a verbal ellipsis up Representative Billy’s prudish ellipsis. .