Having solved all other crime…

From The Smoking Gun:

The frisky Floridians were arrested yesterday after a Tampa cop spotted them having sex against a car. According to an arrest affidavit, Mumma, 19, and Gonzalez, 23, were trysting in the parking lot of Peabody’s Billiards while several onlookers watched. The pair, both of whom work at a Tampa restaurant, are each facing a misdemeanor count of lewd and lascivious behavior. Additionally, Gonzalez was hit with a misdemeanor exposure of sexual organs rap while Mumma was charged with giving officers a phony name. Mumma and Gonzalez are pictured below in mug shots snapped by the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office. According to a police report, Officer Stephen Hiles was patrolling the parking lot when he spotted Mumma with her pants at her knees. Gonzalez was standing behind her with his penis exposed and, according to the cop, was allegedly having sex you know where.

I guess the rape, murder and theft rate in Tampa must be really low right now.

Stephen Gordon

I like tasteful cigars, private property, American whiskey, fast cars, hot women, pre-bailout Jeeps, fine dining, worthwhile literature, low taxes, original music, personal privacy and self-defense rights -- but not necessarily in this order.

  1. Ok, this is actually something that actually agree with them getting arrested for. WTF, go have sex in a motel room people!

  2. Stephen — for me, it might depend on how sexy the chick was. If she’s fugly, definately arrest them.

  3. (Forgive the pun here) Stephen, I’m sorry, but I have to agree with Stephen here on this one.

    (More seriously; I meant Stephen Gordon as the one I agree with.)

  4. Not as disturbing a mental picture as this:

    Janet Reno and Ed Asner, naked in your shower, pulling tufts of monkey fur out of the drain…

    That’ll put you off your feed.

  5. Come on. The cops should stay off private property unless invited. Let businesses handle their own security. In fact, abolish the police and let voluntary alternatives flourish.

  6. The point is less that it’s dumb as bricks to have sex in public than that there are more important things for cops to be doing.

    And Keith, I hate you.

  7. Nigel, don’t blame me… I read that idea somewhere else, so I pinched it. I think I left out something about “snorting cocaine out of Clint Howard’s navel”, though. I was pretty tired at the time.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to figure out if it makes a damned bit of difference if Anna Kournakova can play tennis.