GOP Sees Disturbing Reflection in The Mirror

Republican mirrorThis report from WaPo is so spot on in exposing the fiduciary hypocrisy of the Republicans that I ganked their headline:

What is most remarkable, according to more than a dozen GOP lawmakers and aides, is that it took a little more than a decade for DeLay and House Republicans to succumb to many practices they railed against in the 1990s. From stifling congressional dissent to the raw use of power, they say, Republicans have become like the Democratic barons they ousted in 1994.

[…] The parallels between the Democrats that DeLay and Gingrich abhorred 12 years ago and the Republicans of today are striking. In 1994, Democrats who had been the majority for more than four decades were heavily favored to remain so. But the public was discontent with their performance. Polls then showed that about one in three Americans approved of the Democratic-controlled Congress; polls today show that about one in three respondents approve of the Republican-control Congress.

Democrats were increasingly perceived by the public as corrupt and unethical. Speaker Jim Wright (D-Tex.) had become the first man in that office to resign because of ethics charges, while then-Rep. Tony Coelho (D-Calif.), who pioneered many of the money-for-access techniques DeLay would later adopt, had stepped aside after his financial dealings came under scrutiny. Then the House Bank scandal erupted, and reports that members had routinely kited checks served as a symbol of Democratic abuse.

An easy campaign slogan for this would be: Fool me once, shame on Democrats. Fool me twice, shame on Republicans. Vote Libertarian.

But I wanted to expand on the mirror analogy that the Post uses, so I turned to Snow White:

Decades passed away until 1993, and the Republicans were out of power. They were fiscal conservatives then, but not so proud and haughty that they couldn’t come up with a Contract with America. They possessed a wonderful mirror which could answer them when they stood before it and said “Mirror, mirror upon the wall, Who is fiscal fairest of all?”

The mirror answered “Thou, O GOP, art the fiscal fairest of all,” and the Republicans were contented, because they ousted the Democrats in 1994.

But as time passed on, Republicans grew less and less fiscal and became squanderers with tax money until they were indistinguishable from the Democrats they had ousted. Libertarians grew up in 2004, they were as fiscally fair as the bright day, and still more fiscally conservative than the GOP themselves, so that when the Republicans one day asked their mirror “Mirror, mirror upon the wall, Who is the fiscally fairest of all?” It answered “O GOP, though fiscal fair ye say ye be, Libertarians are fiscal fairer far to see.”

The GOP was horrified, and from that moment envy and pride grew in their heart like rank weeds, until one day they called the DHS and said “Take the people’s liberties away into the woods and kill them, for I can no longer bear the sight of them. And when you return bring with you a liberal bogeyman, that we may know you have obeyed our will.”

5 Comments
  1. That’s not Lewis Carol (he wrote Through the Looking Glass, which you may be confusing here).

    Little Snow White is from Grimm’s Fairy Tales.

  2. Oops. I never was one for reading many nursery rhymes — Washington Post, NY Times, Fox, CNN notwithstanding.

  3. how about a Libertarian “Contract with America”, except instead of political grandstanding, make it a code of conduct for Libertarian candidates? And actually HONOR it, since that’s textbook Libertarianism, the sanctity of the contract.