Getting Satired with Style

How do you know when you’re making a difference in politics? When they start setting up satire sites about you. A bunch of them, in this case. Some mystery person just did that to Joel Montgomery (one of my recent candidates) and we wondered just who was behind it. Then we found they’d started sites for at least three (Valerie “Drabley” Abbott, Carol “Corporate Welfare” Reynolds, and Roderick “the Twerp” Royal“) more of the nine Birmingham City councilors.

They were pretty nice to me, providing only some bio information (so far):

Stephen Gordon – Political consultant, blogger, former employee of Ross Perot and Vice Chair of the Libertarian Party of Alabama; in his own words, Stephen Gordon’s “expertise was crucial in the re-election of Joel Montgomery to the City Council in Birmingham, AL.” Apparently, he also enjoys smoking the occasional cigar.

To be clear, those weren’t my words (I think Thomas Knapp did the latest edit of that bio which started years ago — and I won’t write my own bio) but it’s generally correct. Their cigar picture was certainly more flattering than this one.

For the record, any insinuation that I had anything to do with evil cigar lobby money is entirely innacurate. The only smokers’ rights group with which I’m affiliated is The Smoker’s Club . I’ll add that I would have taken the money, though — especially after they outlawed private property rights in Birmingham with a freakin’ smoking ban for restaurants.

Aside from mild jabs for Montgomery’s vote opposing the smoking ban, the mystery satirist seems pretty freedom-oriented, so far. The section on Pinky and the Brain jabs Carol Reynolds for her support of corporate welfare/eminent domain Wal-Mart deals — which Montgomery fought hard, but lost.

In our local version, we’ll risk of being accused of typecasting and let Carol Reynolds (aka “Carol Corporate Welfare Queen) play the role of Pinky. As for the Brain, our favorite “Movie Villain” is perfect for the part–aside from the whole “genius” thing, that is.

Here’s a brief scene taken from our screenplay:

INTERIOR – COUNCIL CHAMBER – DAY
Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how can we give Wal-Mart a $10 million tax break and move them from your district to mine?
Brain: We will disguise ourselves as a cow.
Pinky: Narf! That was it *exactly*.
Brain: Moo. We are a cow. Take us to China.

Despite the history behind calling Royal a twerp, a lot of us (sometimes) affectionately refer to him as Urkel. He asked for my support on his first run for city council, and I (reluctantly) provided it. I stayed out of that picture during his latest race.

Unlike some cities, Birmingham (at least in certain districts on certain election dates) is one in which Libertarian support can make you or make and then break you (if you screw up — like Johnson did). About Johnson, Mark Bodenhausen once said, “We brought him in, regretted it, so we took him out.”

Ironically, Bill Johnson (of Alabama, for the most part) is the person who convinced Thomas Knapp (who lives near St. Louis) to join the Libertarian Party.

While cracking on Valerie Abbott, I hope they’ll explore to see if there’s some connection between the timing of her votes on Wal-Mart deals and disproportionate funding for parks in Abbott’s district (where I have an office and my “city apartment”, BTW). Disclaimer: She did show at a charity fundraiser (Children’s Hospital) Libertarians held in one of those parks. Additionally, the rumors that I changed my voter registration from my house to my apartment in order to take Abbott’s slot on the City Council simply aren’t accurate. She’s much more talented at wasting taxpayer money than I could ever be.

They picked on Carol Reynolds for her support of corporate welfare — specifically $21 million to Wal-Mart in two separate deals. She received significant libertarian support in her first run for city council, but we all worked against her during her re-election bid — mostly due to the way she now wields eminent domain as her sword and corporate welfare as her shield.

From her particular home page:

“Let them eat cake.” — Marie Antoinette

Without a doubt, the once and future Queen of corporate welfare handouts in Birmingham, Alabama is Carol Reynolds.

It gets even better. There are two other sites out there that we’ve found so far. First of all there’s the UnCivilCouncil site, where they correctly poke fun at how rudely city counselors treat citizens, as well as each other. Better yet, the Birmingham Department of Corporate Welfare is an absolute hoot, so far. To be fair to Montgomery, he just voted against giving the Drug Enforcement Agency a tax break for their new building in town — a key fact omitted on the site.

After the eight Councilors present–Joel Montgomery was absent with an illness [he truly was; he looked near death at my place — and gave his crud to my wife and me] –voted unanimously to approve the [Wal-Mart corporate welfare] deal, Carol Reynolds bolted from the dais and ran into the hallway outside the Council chambers, where she proceeded to giddily dance and jump around like an eigth-grade school girl who has just been asked on a date by her latest crush.

In addition to the additional information likely to be provided, I’ll be awaiting the sites for the other five counselors, as well as any additional sites he/she/they dream up. Matter of fact, I’ve got a site I can’t keep up with which I just redirected to my favorite of theirs(?). I’m not yet sure who’s behind this series of websites, but if you’ll pop me an e-mail, I’d love to buy you/y’all a drink (and perhaps some new leads for your sites). Anyplace but Bubba’s Pub, though — that place just ain’t my style.

4 Comments
  1. PC,

    Nawwww — computer work. I thought you knew I was a geek before I engaged in politics.