Foley Joke

From a reader:

A Democrat, a Republican, and a Libertarian are having a drink.
Word comes into the bar that a nearby house is on fire with people trapped inside, so they run out to help.

When they get there it’s an inferno with people still trapped inside and screaming. They see some children who escaped the flames are coughing and passed out from smoke inhalation.

The Democrat says “Oh my god we have to help the children.”
The Libertarian says “Fuck the children.”
The Republican says “Is there time?”

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

  1. My favorite RDL joke:
    A Republican, a Democrat, and a Libertarian all finish their business at the urinal. After washing his hands, the Republican says “I’m using paper towels to save energy”. After washing his hands, the Democrat says “I’m using the air dryer to save trees.” The Libertarian says “I don’t piss on my hands.”

  2. Funny joke.

    But… (I hate to be negative on this particular thread)… It also illustrates a sad truth. And I don’t mean that Republicans are molestors.

    Many people who are aware of what the Libertarian Party is think that we are the “Fuck the children” party. Fuck the poor. Fuck the elderly. Fuck and torture the animals. Fuck the environment. Worship corporations.

    The party needs to do a better job dispelling these myths and correcting these misunderstandings and misinterpretations instead of nominating candidates who perpetuate them.

    Funny joke, nonetheless. Good post.

  3. I think the point of “Fuck the Children” is that the children are reletivly safe at that point and there are still more people to be saved in the burning building.

  4. I like this pseudo-joke that I coined on another thread, in relation to the parties’ stances on oral pleasures.

    Only the LP supports blow jobs. Here are the other parties’ stances:

    DEMOCRAT: Ban them – except in the case of interns.

    REPUBLICAN: Ban them – except in the case of hot male pages.

    GREEN: Ban them – except in the case of GLBT – after all, all penile penetration is rape and degrading to women.

    CONSTITUTION: Ban them – except in the case of colored women, goats, and other forms of private property.

  5. thats not a joke. that’s exactly the way the LP is perceived to many voters, and an image the LP has carefully cultivated for years in it’s never ending search for the perfect principle.

    u-a is quite correct, especially the corporation worship part.

  6. Yep- “Fuck you, I got mine,” the left’s view of Libertarians in general.

    For a better joke, passed on to me by one of my supporters:

    George & Laura Bush saw a couple of kids on the side of a Crawford road one day trying to sell a box full of puppies.

    “What kind of puppies are those?” the President asked.

    “They’re Republican puppies,” the kids replied, and this amused the President and First Lady.

    A few days later George, by himself this time, drove down the road and saw the same kids, still with the same puppies. He said hello, asked how they were doing, and then asked, “What kind of puppies did you say those were?”

    “They’re Libertarian puppies,” the kids replied.

    “Didn’t you say they were Republican puppies?”

    “Well, sir, since you were by here last, their eyes opened.”

  7. A Dem, a Repub are pissing off a bridge, the Dem says “water’s cold”, the Repub mumbles “river’s deep” and a Libo walks up to them and says “get the fuck off my bridge, you go’damned honkies”. Heh heh, Kris, you made me choke on my coffee!

  8. Nigel – that was hillarious.

    Did you hear that Foley didn’t resign because of the page scandal? He is claiming that he resigned because he felt he would “come in a little behind” at the polls.

  9. ua: don’t forget the timeless (pun intended) classic:

    Q: “How do you know when it’s bedtime at MJ’s mansion?”

    A: “When the big hand touches the little hand.”

  10. It is meant to convey a “truth” even if the truth is false. Why do people keep saying there was sex with children when there was no sex and all the pages were above the age of consent in DC (they have to be)? There were raunchy emails to individuals above the age of consent, all of whom had, in the past, been pages, but were no longer doing that job when the emails were recieved. All were over 17 years old at the time of the emails (16 at the time they were pages) and the really sexual email went to one who was turning 19 in a few months.

  11. Mr. West writes, “that’s exactly the way the LP is perceived to many voters, and an image the LP has carefully cultivated for years in it’s never ending search for the perfect principle.”

    I agree that that’s the image the LP receives, but let’s not jump to the faulty decision of blaming this on following principle. The reason this and the other misconceptions undercover_anarchist illustrates is our inability to communicate how our ideas (including our principles) are bust suited for helping the poor, the elderly, the environment, the drug-addicts, et. al.


    Alexander S. Peak
    Membership Chair, College Libertarians of Towson