White House sues C&Ds The Onion (For Real!)

White House loves Goatse.cxThis is up there as being one of the stupidest lawsuits in the history of lawsuits. The White House is suing issued a cease and desist order to The Onion for using the presidential seal in its satire skits of the weekly radio address. What’s even more hilarious is the law that requires satirists “apply for an exception” to use the presidential seal, which is like applying for a permit to use the American flag:

Citing the United States Code, Mr. [Grant M. Dixton, associate counsel to the president,] wrote that the seal “is not to be used in connection with commercial ventures or products in any way that suggests presidential support or endorsement.” Exceptions may be made, he noted, but The Onion had never applied for such an exception.

The Onion was amused. “I’m surprised the president deems it wise to spend taxpayer money for his lawyer to write letters to The Onion,” Scott Dikkers, editor in chief, wrote to Mr. Dixton. He suggested the money be used instead for tax breaks for satirists.

Because of this image, we’re fully waiting for either our satirist tax-break or a presidential lawsuit (seriously, how rad would it be to explain goatse [safe for work] to a judge in a frickin’ courtroom?).

Update: It has come to our attention that the person writing the titles for our posts is a complete idiot (The Onion has been given a stern cease and desist with a finger-wagging, not being sued). We apologize for the screwup and have sacked the title-writer.

Another Update: It has come to our attention that one shouldn’t use HTML in the titles of posts. For this absurdity, we have sacked the replacement title-writer and had his family shot. We regret the inconvenience.

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

2 Comments
  1. HAHA! This is hilarious… I like the question the NY Times asked: O.K. But just between us, Mr. Duffy [a White House spokesman, how did they [The White House] find out about it?

    Trent Duffy responded:

    “Despite the seriousness of the Bush White House, more than one Bush staffer reads The Onion and enjoys it thoroughly,” he said. “We do have a sense of humor, believe it or not.”

    Oh, I believe SOMEBODY has a sense of humor… this White House is a big joke!

  2. “Despite the seriousness of the Bush White House, more than one Bush staffer reads The Onion and enjoys it thoroughly,” he said. “We do have a sense of humor, believe it or not.”

    besides… where do you think they get their material?