Wal-Mart: Always Dead Shoplifters… Always

Creepy Wal-Mart Rollback SmileyVia cryptogon comes this story of overzealous enforcement by the Wal-Mart Rent-a-Cops:

“They chased him right past me,” said Portz, who followed the chase, then saw four or five employees hold Driver on the ground. Driver was pleading with them to let him up, Portz said. “The blacktop was just blistering,” he said.

The high temperature at Bush Intercontinental Airport Sunday was 96 degrees.

Portz said one of the Wal-Mart employees had Driver in a choke hold as other employees pinned his body to the ground.

“He was begging, ‘Please, I’m burning, let me up,’ ” Portz said of Driver. “He’d push himself up off the blacktop, like he was doing a push-up.

[…]After Driver was handcuffed, Portz said one employee had his knee on the man’s neck and others were putting pressure on his back.

“Finally the guy stopped moving” and the employees got off him, Portz said. “They wouldn’t call an ambulance.”

I think Wal-Mart should play up this kind of publicity, actually. You know, shoot a commercial showing that little smiley face knocking down some prices on toilet paper and sodas and the next thing you know the head swivels around and there’s an angry face on the other side. He takes off across the store in hot pursuit of a shoplifter. Cut to the store entrance where he’s pounding his round yellow face into the back of a shopper clutching a bag of Doritos, running in terror out the door past the elderly door greeter. Pan the camera over to greeter who is smiling and waving innocently as blood suddenly spatters across her face. Quickly fade to black.

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

  1. That would be fantastic. I still wont shop there. But I would respect them more for admiting what a blood thirsty cash cow they are.