The Great Dakosaur Hoax

Immediately following the recent discovery of a significant new Jurassic era dinosaur fossil in Argentina, Kansas Board of Education officials are probably already updating curricula for their high school students. With the exception of Kansas, scholars and students across the world now have the knowledge that the 13 foot long Dakosaurus andiniensis was an oceanic crocodile with a short snout and a mouthful of deadly teeth which hunted large creatures in the sea.

In Kansas, students are likely to learn that Dakosaurus was created on the fifth day. This unique approach to teaching science was approved in the Sunflower State earlier this week. The Clemson University Tiger reported:

On Tuesday, the Kansas Board of Education passed new standards that require the teaching of alternative ideas to Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution. The new legislation recommends that schools teach aspects of fossil evidence and molecular biology that directly challenge the theory of evolution.

In addition, the ruling changed the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to using natural explanations — in other words, supernatural explanations now suffice.

Other probable changes to Kansas curricula include:

    God personally handed Judge Roy Moore an autographed copy of the Ten Commandments

Topeka’s Reverend Fred Phelps (founder of will certainly be thrilled by the enlightened stance taken by Kansas educators. He is expected to make an official announcement when he is finished gloating over the murder of Matthew Shepard.