Isn’t this awesome! Not a week after the national ID passes,:
[T]he measure being written by Sen. Pat Roberts, R-Kan., would give the FBI new power to issue administrative subpoenas, which are not reviewed by a judge or grand jury, for quickly obtaining records, electronic data or other evidence in terrorism investigations, according to aides for the GOP majority on the committee who briefed reporters Wednesday.
Recipients could challenge the subpoenas in court and the Bush administration would have to report to Congress twice a year exactly how it was using this investigatory power, the aides said. [emphasis added]
So now the
Gestapo FBI can kick in your door as they please, without cause, and check around to make sure you aren’t doing illegal shit in your house. But it gets better:
So, too, would a provision that authorizes wiretapping of suspected terrorists who operate without clear ties to a particular terrorist network.
You get that? You might be a terrorist worth wiretapping even if you don’t have any terrorist friends to call… clearly terrorism is being spread through Sprint’s jihadist friends and family network these days. Will terrorism stop at nothing to destroy our freedom to make cheap long distance calls?
But, I’m sure you’re thinking: “Slow your roll hamma’, I ain’t no jive-terrorist, what’s I gots to worry ’bout?”
Well, you better be sure your doc is on the up and up when he prescribes that valium writ for when you want to totally escape from the memory of the guys who kicked in your door to enforce the most awesome SUPER PATRIOT USA WE’RE #1 ACT!!!:
They also have pushed for the administrative subpoena power, which they say prosecutors already are using in health care fraud and other criminal cases.
Don’t you be fooled by these bastard Al Qaida, they are everywhere these days, with a specialized cell of physicians using their evil terrorist powers to defraud Medicare and steal cubic tons of viagra to sell on the Internet to raise funds to pay for their infiltration into the AT&T phone network.
Hoo boy does this make me feel patriotic… and wet, from all the expectorate flying out of the mouths of the “maim liberty first” crowd.