Newsweek vs Pentagon: Circling the Bowl

GitmoOk, I was willing to give the Pentagon the benefit of the doubt after Newsweek so quickly flushed it’s Qur’an mistreatment allegations. Now, I’m not so sure after reading this bizzare account from the Pentagon of what really happened:

A U.S. military investigation into the mishandling of the Muslim holy book at the Guantanamo Bay prison for suspected terrorists has determined that detainees — not U.S. soldiers — attempted to flush the Quran down the toilet there.

However, the report did find four confirmed incidents in which U.S. personnel at the base mishandled the Quran, including guards kicking a detainee’s Quran; a guard’s urine “splashed” a detainee and his holy book after coming through an air vent; and guards got in a water balloon fight that resulted in two detainees’ Qurans getting wet.

In a fifth confirmed incident, it could not be determined whether a guard or a detainee wrote a two-word obscenity in a detainee’s Quran.

Ok, just a quick guess on the obscenity in the last incident: F*&k Allah. Totally unsubstantiated guess.

So let’s get this straight: a guard was taking a leak, and he was a bit of a slob who couldn’t aim, and he pissed in an air vent (in the ceiling or in the floor, ponder that), and amazingly the detainee’s Quran was right under that vent. Something makes me wonder what kind of HVAC and plumbing work our tax money is paying for.

And as for the water balloon fight that resulted in not one but two detainees’ Qurans getting wet… well, let’s just say when the guards testified they were engaging in watersports with detainees Qurans, someone was taking liberty with the definition.

But hey, Newsweek can suck a fat one, because the guards clearly did everything short of actually flushing the Quran, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, America haters.

» The Qur’an Question [Newsweek]
» Detainees, not soldiers, flushed Quran [CNN] [via cryptogon]

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

  1. I just heard a BBC bit on this, the US military rep said that in the urine incident, the guard was pissing on the prisoner and the book was splashed by accident (possibly, the qualified everything with a “maybe” or “possibly”, in order to defend every point without actually having to admit whether he believed what he was saying). He also said that soldiers who wrote in or destroyed the Qur’an were probably just unaware of the holiness of the book… and basically failed miserably at every attempt at defending the soliders. But then he said that he wasn’t trying to defend their actions in any way. Brilliant.

  2. ahh, well if he was just pissing on the man, that’s cool. And here I got all worked up over a book flushing for nothing.


  3. Wow, I knew Marines were into kink, but I wonder if he let the other gentleman reciprocate. I mean, come on…. at least a reach around like for sarge!

    How sad, sick and ridiculous that our armed forces are giving us such a bad name. I’m sure it has nothing to do with higher levels of command, because you can tell a commanding officer “NO”. ROFL