Maryland: Take this Toilet Tax and Flush it

toilet snorkelIn what makes about as much sense as a toilet snorkel — Charles County, The state of Maryland is pissing off homeowners on well and septic systems by charging them a “flush tax” for a service they don’t even use (via Sploid):

“People are coming in here saying, ‘I have a two-hole outhouse, I’m not going to pay you.’ ” Peuler said. “We have a saying around here: ‘You pee, you poo, you pay.’ The three P’s, you know?”

Garrett County was “bombarded” with calls after billing 10,335 well and septic users in October, said Wendy Yoder, director of the county’s financial services department. Some callers flatly refused to pay, but Yoder says she’s encouraged that only about a quarter of those billed did not pay

The new tax bill is hardly fair to these residents, who are essentially helping to subsidize a system they have chosen not to connect themselves to, yet they are expected to pay for upgrades and maintenance. Not only that, but a portion of the tax will go towards some unrelated pork in a program to fund a cover-crop program that encourages farmers to plant crops that absorb nitrogen.

I say flush the toilet tax, bravo to the residents who refuse to pay it.

Update: Homeland Stupidity sez, “The tax is a state tax; it’s the county taxing authorities, though, who are charged with collecting it.”

[image credit: The toilet snorkel]

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

  1. If I lived in Charles County, I might send my taxes in mixed with some pee or poop.

    Just a thought, not a suggestion…

  2. haha good idea Stephen…

    Do you get a bigger return if you have a lo-flo?

    What a hilarious thing to tax! I’d poop in the streets to protest!

  3. I have a well,septic tank, 1000 gal. LP gas tank, full house power generator, wood burning stove, plenty of wood on my property, a large pantry, two refrigerators,two freezers, plenty of firearms & ammunition and a cell phone.

    I estimate I can live independently, without ever leaving my property for about one year with my stock pile.

    The taxes on the septic tank and well is a method being used to eliminate each person’s independence. Big brother wants all of us to be connected to services like an umbilical cord so they can be totally in charge of our lives. I say to them, too many guys like me in the woods and mountains. You may eventually find all of us, but it will take you many years and huge expenditures. Until that day comes, I will continue to live free and will not pay your tax on my privately owned septic tank and well.

  4. I forgot to mention, Direct TV and walkie talkies, I can walk out on my porches and pee over the railing and fire my guns with impunity at the same time without worrying about Big Brother.

    How about the rest of you? City life is for those that want to complain about loss of freedom but don’t want to be inconvenienced in any way. Move to the forests and mountains. So grocery shopping is 50 miles away. I don’t care. I am still free.

  5. Julian,

    Agreed. City life does look less and less appealing with every passing day. I figure in 5 years we’ll have our mandatory REAL ID national drivers licenses with all the RFID goodness to detect us wherever we go.


  6. Rick

    You know that even I cannot disappear off the Big Brother radar. I am constantly trying to figure out how to beat their spying on us and controlling our lives. It is getting worse every day. There has to be an answer short of a full blown shooting revolution but I am not so sure anymore.

    My concern for you younger guys is you will never know the thrill of freedom I experienced growing up in a small town in the south pretty much doing what I pleased. We went hunting with pistols, rifles, ahd shotguns we purchased, (at 10 years old) at the hardware store.

    I am surprised freedom is even an issue with many of you. At my age, I have real life comparisons to 50 years ago and today so I know what has been lost. God help all of you. Don’t write off the old guys. We may be able to help.

  7. Julian,

    Yes, at 24 years of age, I do not have a wealth of personal experience to draw on to compare today’s encroaching police state to the “good ole days”.

    However, even in 20 years, the change is obvious. Anyone who can remember what flying was like 10 years ago versus today can safely say that it’s all ridiculous. Try to get a job without a social security number. Heck, they ask for it when you get a freagin cell phone! All for your “benefit” right? Yeah, I don’t buy that for a second.

    I surely hope a revolution doesn’t need to pass, but it might be the only thing left to rid the system of all the evil that encompasses.

    And I don’t write you off in terms of perspective on things like the rise of the police state, only your views on the necessity of things like those “terrorists” in the middle east. After all, the Al Qaeada boogey men are means by which the government convinces the majority of americans that turning in their rights will save them.

  8. I moved from Chuck county a year and a half ago and things were getting bad then. They were actually trying to pass a law that forbid you to smoke in your back yard because the smoke might go over the fence and piss off your neighbor. Also…you could not leave your car running in the driveway unattended, I never found out the reason for that one. I don’t think either one of those made it but it doesn’t surprise me about the flushing tax. That county has been in the toilet for years anyway.

    And to Julian, right on brother. I’ve got my 45 acres in the middle of nowhere Arkansas and happy about it.

  9. Fuck the Ehrlich and his flush tax. I will never ever ever pay it. I will burn my house down and shit in the woods first.