Enemies of the State

I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter: So help me God.

The Patriot Act just passed in the House. According to CNN:

By a 251-174 vote Wednesday, the U.S. House of Representatives agreed to renew 16 of the act’s provisions that were set to expire at year’s end. The bill now heads back to the Senate, where a fiercer battle is expected.

According to Bush:

“The Patriot Act is essential to fighting the war on terror and preventing our enemies from striking America again,” President Bush said in a statement praising the House vote.

According to me:

The key terror we have to fear is from Washington. The enemies who just struck America are listed below by name:

Aderholt, Akin, Alexander, Andrews, Bachus, Baker, Barrett (SC), Barrow, Barton (TX), Bass, Bean, Beauprez, Biggert, Bilirakis, Bishop (GA), Blackburn, Blunt, Boehlert, Boehner, Bonilla, Bonner, Bono, Boozman, Boren, Boswell, Boustany, Boyd, Bradley (NH), Brady (TX), Brown (SC), Brown-Waite, Ginny, Burgess, Burton (IN), Buyer, Calvert, Camp (MI), Campbell (CA), Cannon, Cantor, Capito, Cardin, Carnahan, Carter, Case, Castle, Chabot, Chandler, Chocola, Coble, Cole (OK), Conaway, Cooper, Costa, Cramer, Crenshaw, Cubin, Cuellar, Culberson, Davis (AL), Davis (FL), Davis (KY), Davis (TN), Davis, Jo Ann, Davis, Tom, Deal (GA), DeLay, Dent, Diaz-Balart, L., Doolittle, Drake, Dreier, Edwards, Emanuel, Emerson, English (PA), Etheridge, Everett, Feeney, Ferguson, Flake, Foley, Forbes, Fortenberry, Fossella, Foxx, Franks (AZ), Frelinghuysen, Gallegly, Garrett (NJ), Gerlach, Gibbons, Gilchrest, Gillmor, Gingrey, Gohmert, Goode, Goodlatte, Granger, Graves, Green (WI), Gutknecht, Hall, Harman, Harris, Hart, Hastert, Hastings (WA), Hayes, Hayworth, Hefley, Hensarling, Herger, Herseth, Higgins, Hobson, Hoekstra, Holden, Hostettler, Hoyer, Hulshof, Hunter, Inglis (SC), Issa, Istook, Jenkins, Jindal, Johnson (CT), Johnson, Sam, Keller, Kelly, Kennedy (MN), King (IA), King (NY), Kingston, Kirk, Kline, Knollenberg, Kolbe, Kuhl (NY), LaHood, Latham, LaTourette, Leach, Lewis (CA), Lewis (KY), Linder, Lipinski, LoBiondo, Lungren, Daniel E., Marchant, Marshall, McCarthy, McCaul (TX), McCotter, McCrery, McHenry, McHugh, McIntyre, McKeon, McMorris, Melancon, Mica, Miller (FL), Miller (MI), Miller (NC), Miller, Gary, Moore (KS), Moran (KS), Murphy, Musgrave, Myrick, Neugebauer, Northup, Norwood, Nunes, Nussle, Osborne, Oxley, Pearce, Pence, Petri, Pickering, Pitts, Platts, Pombo, Pomeroy, Porter, Pryce (OH), Putnam, Ramstad, Regula, Rehberg, Reichert, Renzi, Reyes, Reynolds, Rogers (AL), Rogers (KY), Rogers (MI), Ross, Rothman, Royce, Ruppersberger, Ryan (WI), Ryun (KS), Saxton, Schiff, Schmidt, Schwartz (PA), Schwarz (MI), Scott (GA), Sensenbrenner, Sessions, Shadegg, Shaw, Shays, Sherwood, Shimkus, Shuster, Simmons, Simpson, Skelton, Smith (NJ), Smith (TX), Sodrel, Souder, Spratt, Stearns, Sullivan, Tancredo, Taylor (MS), Terry, Thomas, Thornberry, Tiahrt, Tiberi, Turner, Upton, Walden (OR), Walsh, Wamp, Weldon (FL), Weldon (PA), Weller, Westmoreland, Whitfield, Wicker, Wilson (NM), Wilson (SC), Wolf, Young (FL)

Update by Stephen VanDyke: I had to clean up that list… it was a tad unweildy and made my scroll finger hurt with carpal tunnel. So anyways, not only do we get more happy Patriot Act extension goodness, we are also getting some fantabulous drug war crap loaded in the new deal:

* Sec. 122. Prohibition of narco-terrorism.
* Sec. 221. Elimination of procedures applicable only to certain Controlled Substances Act cases. (Death Penalty)
* Sec. 410. Uniform procedures for criminal forfeiture.
* TITLE VII–COMBAT METHAMPHETAMINE EPIDEMIC ACT OF 2005 (Sections 701-756)

Need it be said that it wasn’t potheads who hijacked and crashed planes into the WTC?

Update by SoL: The powers that be want to erect permanent barriers against our rights? I say we go back to our roots and start erecting some liberty poles. The Sons of Liberty are itching for a 230-year reunion.

Stephen Gordon

I like tasteful cigars, private property, American whiskey, fast cars, hot women, pre-bailout Jeeps, fine dining, worthwhile literature, low taxes, original music, personal privacy and self-defense rights -- but not necessarily in this order.

16 Comments
  1. They can’t cop out on not having read the Patriot this time around. They all know what is in it, and love it because of what is in it.

  2. Crap, my representative is on the list. I guess I’ll have to let him know how I feel. I just wish it didn’t feel so futile to do so.

  3. Anyone see this at The Onion? It’s old, but still good…

    WASHINGTON, DC—Federal officials unveiled the newly updated Bill Of Rights 2.0 at last weekend’s Govworld Expo ’99. The enhanced version of the document is said to be free of the First Amendment bug which had plagued previous releases.

    First-Amendment Bug Removed From Bill Of Righs 2.0

    “This correction was long overdue,” said Gordon Proehl, head of the team that updated the Bill Of Rights. “This bug was causing a whole host of problems—problems the original programmers never could have anticipated when they first developed the document in 1789.” [snip]

  4. Well next time you’re getting arrested and the officer cites the patriot act as the law he’s arresting you under, cap him in the chest.

    Civil disobedience at its finest.

    That, or die fighting. Being from New Hampshire my state does tell me to “live free or die.” A bit unsettling that a representatitve of my state voted for this. Not my district’s at least.

  5. Sec. 122. Prohibition of narco-terrorism.

    damn, and all this time “narco-terrorism” (whatever the hell that is) was legal. ..when does this law start? we can still get some narco-terrorism done before the deadline.

  6. ok, this shit really burns me up:
    * Sec. 410. Uniform procedures for criminal forfeiture.
    * TITLE VII–COMBAT METHAMPHETAMINE EPIDEMIC ACT OF 2005 (Sections 701-756)

    this started in the 80’s. they just start taking shit. i DO NOT get why this is acceptable.

    ps there is no fucking meth epedemic.

  7. My guess is that the makers of Sudafed did not provide the current party in power enough PAC and campaign contributions

  8. I will have something about the Un-Patroitic Act on my blog in the next couple of days. My Congressman John Skimkus, neo-conservative have pissed off a lot of true conservatives and libertarians in my district over some of the things he has voted on or against. I’m really thinking about running against him in the Republican primary in 2008 or 2010. You say why not run as a Libertarian? Ballot access for minor parties in IL is so difficult that there would be no way I could get on the ballot. I can however do more damage during a primary run.