DC Declares Itself “Disaster Area”

In just 4 easy steps, fix your city’s budget problems:

  • Step 1. Offer a place to stay to Katrina victims.
  • Step 2. When none show up, fly them in.
  • Step 3. Declare your town a disaster area, receive federal funds.
  • Step 4. Profit!

Of course, as the article astutely points out. Many of us already knew Washington DC is a disaster area, and we’ve known it for quite some time.

Actually, I’m having a little trouble keeping up with my own bills lately, so if any Katrina victims want to live in a tent outside my lawn, I’m sure we can rough up the grass and make it look disaster-ish.

On the opposite end of the spectrum. Huge thanks are in order for institutions like BU and MIT for opening their doors and letting students in with no tuition or (to my knowledge) rooming charges.

Update: What the hell is going on? A total of 28 states and DC have been approved by Bush to be declared “state of emergencies.” This seems quite peculiar. Is the entire USA going to become a state of emergency? And here I just put my tin foil hat away.

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