Confederacy of Dunces Nabs Cartoon Network

Exceptional customer service, a well run call center and a tidy profit to boot. Don’t all retailers, especially during Christmas, want the same thing? The DEA may have arrested one of the smartest entrepreneurs of our time —by accident. WCST-TV reported that NYPD learned about “The Cartoon Network” from surveillance set in place after a body was found in a delapidated New York neighborhood. This is not confirmed or denied by the USDOJ’s site.

Meet Mr. John Nebel. His product, marijuana, was illegal, but his business plan was good. He identified a market and supplied it in a manner that, without government surveillance, could have been considered discreet and convenient. He even thought up a catchy name for the venture, The Cartoon Network. He must have valued his roadrunners couriers, because he paid them $200 a day. According to press releases, his business venture eventually went semi-legit. He started manufacturing the plastic viles that held the product. He reportedly named the company, “Acme Plastics.” His holiday retailing ended Monday when he was indicted for money laundering and drug trafficking. According to the Department of Justice:

To date, the investigation has resulted in the seizure of $837,000 worth of marijuana and approximately $685,000 in cash. In addition, seven residences, located in Massapequa, Rosedale, Lynbrook, Ridgewood, and Brooklyn, New York, and 16 vehicles used to facilitate the organization’s drug distribution operations have been seized, along with thousands of vials packaged for holiday season delivery to customers with the greeting “Happy Holidays from Your Friends at Cartoon.”

At up to 600 calls a day, I imagine his holiday season was looking pretty happy. Until he was busted for providing a weed as common as mistletoe to an eager consumer.

21 Comments
  1. Well said. The Cartoon Network, though selling something ‘illegal’, is still heads and shoulders above the Confederacy of Dunces aka the Federal Law Enforcement community. Though the Gub is currently ripping off millions from such enterpreneurs and the citizens they supply the day will come when the DEA and every other police agency will have to repay with interest every cent looted from the citizenry, mark my words! They are sowing a harvest they will not want to reap.

  2. as someone quite familiar with cartoon, i must say the only flaw in their business plan was they didn’t have enough guys on fridays. however… the average shift would only net $125 for most guys. the weekend 10 hours shift was that which payed $200. either way they weren’t pushers. they had mature (and somtimes very well to do) adults partaking the ingestion of a plant far less damaging than alcohol. the wierdest part is that it too feds to bust ’em. i’m certain the NYPD knew about them but left ’em alone. these guys were sooo well known by anyone in the city that “got it”. it took a dead body to get the feds involved.

  3. IMO, they should have been left alone. I do not do drugs at this point in life, but I did grow up around pot. I would rather a consistent pot head to a drunk any day of the week.

  4. jeez, I am intoxicated-on wine- and because of wine, I failed to address ribble’s comment. Ooops, hiccupp, I may have given it validation. I am in my home though. It is, for now, a safe place to drink.

  5. Stupidity in government like this will cause it to collapse. I have had armed men in helicopters land on my place to pull a couple of pot plants out next to my barn. Next time, I will be home defending my property. Boston Tea Party anyone?

  6. Even the drugs dealers can’t say Merry Christmas in their advertising. What is the world coming to?

  7. Stephen,

    I am going to call Fox News and ask them to boycott the drug dealers for not saying Merry Christmas. I know I am boycotting them for that very reason.

    People don’t want drugs they want to be told Merry Christmas.

  8. Say what you want, but the Cartoon Network was non-violent, well organized, and only dealt in marijuana. If someone from the organization was caught selling anything else, they’d be fired. They provided a safe service to Manhattanites who didn’t want to find their weed on the street, and employed couriers who never carried more than 2 ounces at any given time. If you add up the DEA numbers, the Network paid $7,000 per pound of weed, and produced that into 224 cubes. Each cube contained labels, a sealed bag, and a lotto ticket. The gross for 224 cubes at $50 a piece is $11,200. Each lotto ticket cost a dollar, each cube cost around a dollar, and they had to pay their runners and managers as well.

    Though they were a huge organization, they were not making nearly the type of money that a big drug cartel selling cocaine or heroin would make.

    These guys are being lynched for an operation that shouldn’t have even been necessary… Marijuana should have long ago been legalized.

  9. And I personally know firsthand of an incident in the West 100’s where a runner was approached by two cops who asked him “Where’s the Coke and Guns?” They searched his bag… And GAVE IT BACK TO HIM!!! They said, “tell your boss to keep it below 96th Street from now on, this is our neighborhood.”

    Hector L. Rodriguez was brought down by the DEA as part of Cartoon Network. Good luck to the government getting a $4,000,000.00 fine from him. He’s 24 or so, has 5 kids (who he works 12 hour days to take care of) and has worn the same sneakers for the last 4 years. How in a country that calls itself the land of the free can you possibly consider taking this man’s freedom for a minimum of 10 years on a conspiracy charge?

    Our president:

    Sniffed cocaine
    Went AWOL during military duty
    Lied about the reasons for going to war in Iraq

    What happened to him? He got 8 years… IN OFFICE!!!

    FREE HECTOR!!!

    LET THE BUDBURGULAR LIVE AND LET FREEDOM RING FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!!!

  10. Road Runner,

    You hit the nail on the head with the Bush analogy. He sniffed coke while he screws recreational users and medical mj users alike. He went AWOL and now over 2000 are dead.

  11. All I have to say is that Cartoon came through everytime, without fail. Rain, Sleet, Hail, Snow, no matter what, they came through. It is truely a sad day now that the cops have busted them. Still no culpreit in Biggie’s or TuPak’s murders huh NYPD? Oh, yeah, you’re busy busting the hard-core dealers of Marijuana.

  12. Road Runner,
    The West 100’s runner was lucky to be in New York. Here in Dallas, the police would have planted gypsum to create a case. Old news, I know, but still scary for those of us that live here.

  13. The Cartoon Network was a safe, harmless way to deliver marijuana to responsible adults living in New York. These guys were not selling marijuana to children or encouraging them to use it. The customer base was adult orientated marijuana users who received safe delivery of the Network’s product. How was the money earned by Nebel and his employee’s used to fund terrorist organizations??

  14. Pedro,

    One might actually argue the opposite. While blackmarket transactions were ongoing, the government wasn’t able to get its fingers on it. Now that the trade is stopped, people buying a drink instead of weed are funding the torture, black prisons, Gitmo, etc.

    It may be our patriotic duty to smoke a fattie.

  15. Hector Rodriguez (5 kids and a wife), instead of living off the govnerment he was working to support his family. Harry Perez 22 years old always nice and corteous to everyone he meets. Living in the projects obviously not making enough money. Shabu Kusamu 21 years old another baby. Church going man does harm to no one. Finally Jose Montanez father, husband, son very giving.

    Our govnerment is willing to lock up all these men for years and years just on conspiracy to sell marijuana. What about the murderers, sex-offenders, dope seller. Think about the tax money that is going to be spent on these inmates every year for the next 10 years.

    There are bigger issues that the govnerment should be concerning themseleves with. Like the fact that there is human-trafficking going on or the fact that we are fighting a war for absouletly no reason.

    This govnerment needs to set their priorities straight.
    FREE THE CARTOON NETWORK
    Let these boys go back to thier families
    Free them

  16. I AGREE FREE THE CARTOON NETWORK
    THEY WERE NOT HARMING ANYONE. IT WAS NOT BEING SOLD TO CHILDREN AND IT WAS KEEPING PEOPLE FROM GOING OUT IN THE STREETS TO DARK ALLEYS AND GETTING IT FROM A LITTLE WHOLE IN THE WALL FROM PEOPLE THEY COULDN’T EVEN SEE. THESE YOUNG MEN THAT ARE BEING HELD FOR CONSPIRACY SHOULD BE LET OUT FREE THEY DID NOT KILL ANYONE, RAPE ANYONE, OR ACTUALLY EVEN HURT ANYONE. THESE YOUNG MEN ARE GOOD PEOPLE WITH LIFE SITUATIONS–MEN WITH KIDS AND FAMILIES TO SUPPORT, LIVING IN PROJECTS TRYING TO GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE. INSTEAD OF PUTTING THESE MEN IN JAIL AND RUINING THEIR FUTURE FOR SELLING MARIJUANA, A NATURAL DRUG THAT IS ACTUALLY EVEN SAFER THEN ALCOHOL AND EVEN USED BY DOCTORS AS MEDS YOU SHOULD HELP THESE PEOPLE GET DECENT JOBS THAT CAN HELP THEM GET OUT OF THESE SITUATIONS THAT THERE IN AND HELP THEM BE ABLE TO SUPPORT THERE FAMILIES AND GET OUT OF THESE PROJECTS WERE THEY PROBALY FEEL LIKE THEY HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO DO THIS IN ORDER TO LIVE.

  17. i agree free the cartoon network, my brother was murdered in cold blood, broad daylight, robbed from his two children and the man who pleaded guilty got 16yrs and probably wont do half. let these men go home, they all have wives and families who need them!! get the murderers,rapists,and human traffickers, and bush out of office thats what america needs.