Bingo-playing Terrorists

Evidently the Department of Homeland Stupidity Security thinks that “terrorists” are going to infiltrate your local Bingo hall. Kentucky has been awarded a grant to protect it’s vulnerable citizens from this imminent threat.

But to some, the idea of protecting bingo halls from terrorists is nonsensical.

“It’s almost ludicrous,” said Rick Bentley, a Henry Clay High School sports booster as he volunteered last Thursday at a noisy, smoke-filled Lexington bingo parlor. “The thought would never even enter my mind.”

As a side note, the article presents an interesting factoid about Bingo:

With more than 1,300 organizations licensed to raise money through gambling, charitable gaming raised $51 million in 2003.

This could be a good way for your local Libertarian organization to raise some money. Given that being a Libertarian probably makes you an enemy of the state by default, you might as well give the DHS something to do with their free time.

Kudos to

  1. If this idea catches on, Grandma might actually have to report her bingo night winnings as income.

  2. Hm, I thought this looked familiar. I posted this about three weeks ago. Where have you been? :)

    And besides, don’t you know the terrorists are always looking for creative ways to finance their operations? What better than BINGO?!?

  3. IO ERROR,

    There is only so much time in the day, and certainly we’ll pick some things off that may be many weeks old to those “in the know”, but many people do not. Hence, it will still be news to them!



  4. Well, you can’t be too careful… either terrorists might start dressing up as li’l ol’ granny-ladies, or those bona-fide li’l ol’ granny-ladies might be al-Qaeda sleeper agents.

    Let’s hear it for the Dept. of Fatherland Security. Woo.

  5. Well, C4 is, after all, an explosive used by terrorists….it will probably blow up when “bingo” is called…..

  6. Be very suspicious of anyone under 50 who walks into the hall. Terrorists usually recruit young…

    Another wonderful example of Homeland Security money be divided up by state and/or population instead of by risk