(Kung Fu) Video: Bill O’Reilly vs. Michael Moore

O'Reilly vs MooreWho won? Who gives a fuck. The fact that they didn’t start sissy-slapping each other is what impressed me. Besides, you know everyone was tuning in just to see if that would happen. Here’s the links: Part 1, Part 2.

Both O’Reilly and Moore represent the pinnacle of hyperbolic suckage for their respective camps, and because of that, we offer the following challenge/contest for our amusement: Strip the audio from this video and replace it with some old kung-fu movie dialogue, bad dubbing and all. Here’s a sample script to get you started (funny enough, this dialogue is the basis of every damn kung fu movie):

Michael Moore: “Hmpph…Hey you…I heard…your kung-fu…is pretty good.”

O’Reilly: “I thought you were dead!”

Moore: “No… it is only my integrity…which has…died. Hwuaaa….”

[kung fu noises, “whacks,” “whooshes,” “clangs” and “swishes”]

O’Reilly: “You call that kung fu?”

Moore: “Ah, you are familiar with my…iron-rhetoric…kung fu style!”

O’Reilly: “Ha! I invented iron-rhetoric!”

Moore: “Teacher!”

O’Reilly: “I’ll teach you!”

[break for commercial]

Part 1, Part 2 [newsfly.org]

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