VanDyke File: The Difference Between Playing for the Rangers and Being Satan

Completely off-topic here, but I tried out this funny online tool called Job Predictor which comes up with the best job for you based soley on your name. Not exactly scientific, but I decided to throw my name at it anyways for giggles:

Stephen VanDyke, Your ideal job is a Playing for Rangers.

Wow, wouldn’t that be nice. Out of naked curiousity, I went ahead and added the space in my last name that my parents had passed on to me since birth, but the government had taken away once I was of school age (in the name of technological efficiency):

Stephen Van Dyke, Your ideal job is a Satan.

So there ya go. Based on this completely dubious calculation, my parents raised a kid who should have become a Satan (there’s more than one?), but the public school system dashed their hopes and relegated me to aspire to play for the Rangers. Oddly enough, George W. Bush at one time owned the Texas Rangers, so I’m not really sure if there should be a connection between me (a fledgling Satan) and Bush.

Wait, I believe I hear Michael Moore knocking at my door…

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

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