Pentagon: These Missiles were made for Launching…

Missile defense test… But that’s not what they do. One of these days these missiles might launch and Bush will say “Told you!”

Maybe. One day. Certainly not today.

Another Missile Defense Shield test has failed spectacularly this morning; The target missile (the one meant to be shot down) launched just fine, 16 minutes later, the interceptor blue-screened (or whatever they call it when missile software crashes) and remained in it’s silo as the target missile lit up Los Angeles and surrounding counties in dazzling radioactive mushroom clouds.

The Pentagon, realizing they were now 0 for 3 in the past couple weeks, decided to tuck tail and head back to their secret underground bunker to patch the missile with the latest Windows service pack. Philip Coyle, the Pentagon’s former chief of testing who has become a critic of the Bush administration’s missile defense plans, said, “This latest failure to intercept a target shows again that the system being deployed in Alaska has no demonstrated capability to work.” Pentagon officals responded, saying “Thank-you Captain Obvious.”

In related news, for some unexplicable reason, Canada said it will not put any money into building the missile shield and it will not allow interceptor rockets on Canadian soil as the price of participation in the multibillion-dollar program. Future test-target missiles are slated to use Canadian metro cities as their destination points.

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

4 Comments
  1. Yeah, I guess Canada realizes that missles tend to attract other missles, a very good reason for not entertaining them on your property!

    Xmas decorating hint #47 –

    I’ve found out that DUCRETE makes a real nice artificial snow for your Xmas train / village scenes. Blow it around with a fan for realistic blizzards.

  2. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing from your “Thank-you Captain Obvious” quote. It should be followed up with the office space question “so what is it, you do here?”

  3. bla bla bla….. Yada Yada Yada……….Booooooooooooooooo………..LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa……….Kaboom! What was that? Did somebody fart or what!? It’s so smelly! It smells like….a dead mouse who has been in the house for 1 week!