NO… SLEEP… TIL… LAUNCH-DAY {makes beatbox sounds with mouth}

Apologies to Drew

so am writing the most badass hosting software ever for the company i work for. it is called mynatnet, except it is version two and i also wrote version one but it barely works, well actually everyone calls it stevemax because the old billing software only works with this thing called billmax, which is written by a company that also writes really great software like “click here to delete important stuff” and “make the grown man cry”. it is very clever to change one word and call it stevemax because noone would ever think of that, that is genius. anyways, i have never written any type of accounting software in my life, but they pretty much let me go wild on everything, so i added really cool stuff like billing that works but had to take out some features, like random crashing, because i didn’t have time to write that in.

okokok, that is about it, except for when i do something like like write an endless loop that makes the server crash and coworker says to me: “programmer, I cannot log into the old system and update billing codes”. so i tell them that the two systems are having a fight because one is jealous of the other and that it will take a while because there is not enough ram to make the fight faster to see who wins. then i send them a screenshot of super street fighter, except instead of ken and ryu fighting it is billmax and stevemax, and stevemax is yelling har-yu-kun and beating the crap out of ken, i mean billmax.

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

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