Missile Defense Test Thwarted by… Clouds?

Missile defense shield, as depicted by Pentagon employees trapped in 1986Okay, what the hell, Pentagon slackers? We pay your ass $10B a year to build a Missile Defense Shield that we really don’t need, and you can’t even test it because there’s uh… cloud cover? Well, that’s what the Associated Press said you said in Pentagon Scrubs Missile-Defense Flight Test:

The first flight test in nearly two years of a planned U.S. missile-defense shield has been scrapped two days in a row this week because of bad weather, the Pentagon said on Friday. […] The first attempt to conduct the test this week was scrubbed by clouds over Kodiak.

Forget the fact that it was 19 asshats with boxcutters who crashed airplanes into buildings in the most deadly attack on America. No, they’re worried about nuclear missiles again and building counter-missile missiles. Seriously, that shit is so 1980s, except at least in the 80s it had the badass name of Star Wars and we were gonna knock them out with frickin’ lasers [insert image of Ronald Reagan holding pinkie to corner of mouth]. Nowadays we get the lame-ass name “Missile Defense Shield”, except at least a real shield works in the rain.

Tell ya what, Pentagon hacks, you build me a missile that can fly up to a hijacked airplane, attach itself to the underbelly, and deploy robot ninjas to take out the hijackers on board, and maybe then we can start talking about a $10B/yr budget for your wet dream defense systems. Until then, hows about we stop wasting tax money on Cold War defense systems and give some pay increases to the troops or something.

4 Comments
  1. I guess we die if someone decides to launch nukes at us during a storm eh!? Awesome write-up… put those ass-clowns in their places. I think we could probably name 3 big name government contractors that are responsible for the bulk of the wasted funds… well and the black projects forgot about those… you know researching the effects of green algae on ponds/lakes…. uh huh….

  2. Priority number one for government agencies is burning through money fast enough to justify existing and future appropriations. Actual results and utility are not part of the government’s equation. You have to cut the money to cut the program.