Show me the WMD: Alice in Wonderland

As Iraq continues to descend into anarchy and the US tries to lay down a roadmap for a new regime, things seem oddly familiar, in a storybook kind of way.

I had to look back in my Alice in Wonderland story to really comprehend the similarities of what I gleaned on earlier. And the resemblance to real life was incredible, it may be a simple coincidence, but perhaps someone was acting subconsciously. So here goes, Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, specifically the Queen’s court, and how it applies to today:

During the croquet match, the Queen (of Hearts) is ordering the beheadings of everyone and anyone, which is carried out by her executioner the Ace of Spades. However, the King of Hearts trumps the Queen and pardons everyone. Later in the story, Alice happens upon a trial where the Knave (Jack) of Hearts is accused of stealing the tarts. However the tarts have not actually been stolen and is evidenced by the letter:

I gave her one, they gave him two,
You gave us three or more;
They all returned from him to you,
Though they were mine before.

Now before we get ahead of ourselves, I want to let you know that Alice was growing through the whole proceeding and was at this time her normal size. Meaning that she was much larger than the cards and the creatures and they could pose no harm to her, so she’s getting bold. Going on, the Queen is meaning to have someone killed today as she proclaims to the jury “sentence first — verdict afterwards”, meaning to go ahead and kill the Knave, and who really cares if he’s guilty or not, he’s dead.

Now, I want to draw a parallel between this story and what is occurring in America and the misnomer “War on Terror”. We are in the Queen’s court now, with the US at the throne. Saddam may be the Ace of Spades in the Iraqi ID deck, but in reality he’s the Knave. It doesn’t matter to the Queen that he’s in the same suit or not, he’s in court and he’s going to be killed. Alice in Wonderland mysteriously ended at this point and she woke up from her dream, but our nightmare is just beginning. We have gone down the forbidden road of “sentence first — verdict afterwards” and regardless of whether we can prove the tarts (WMDs) were stolen or existed in the first place, we have killed the Knave.

The irony here is that Alice in Wonderland is supposed to be a work of fiction, to instill morals into children and to make adults laugh at the absurdity of a mushroom psychedelic experience gone goofy. But when Alice comes to life, the results are disastrous, just as a grinning Cheshire cat appears and disappears at will, so do our enemies seem to appear in the oddest places. And it perturbs the US that we cannot simply order to “cut of his head” because the Cheshire cat decided not to show it’s body, just the head.

So here we are walking around Iraq, searching for the tarts, I mean weapons of mass destruction, the Iraqi common man is convinced that we are going to plant them. We are occupying a country we have no respect for, we don’t bother to save their museums and historical places from looters, but Heaven forbid you approach an oil field and you’ll be on your way to meet Allah or whoever you believe in. We’re holed up in a few government buildings in Baghdad, sparing them so that a new Iraq regime can be established, meanwhile we have already picked the new leader, and just as in Afghanistan, there will be no elections.

So where do we go from here? Syria is getting plenty of pressure and will probably be next. The rhetoric has gone to absurd levels again and the Whitehouse is simply waiting for the echo chamber of the loudest Right-Wing media to begin calling for another preemptive war. It no longer matters if 9/11 can be tied to anything, it’s whether the next conflict can be tied to the previous. Has so-and-so given aid to so-and-so? Then they should feel the wrath of America. Indeed, we are in the Queen’s court, and a kangaroo court it is. The jurors (UN) are inept and asleep at times and are told what verdict to give, only they are too dumb to write down a verdict in any fashion or to stand up and proclaim the absurdity of the case.

Alice is not silent, but she’s still only 3″ tall. And if you want to know who Alice is, it’s the world public. The collective morality of the people of the world are still the greatest superpower that ever existed, and the US ranks second. Except Alice is still sitting by the dormouse, barely whispering about the absurdity of the trial, and being relegated to watching the events of the court unfold.

Stephen VanDyke

I've published HoT along with about 300+ friends since 2002. We're all Americans who are snarky and love our country. I'm a libertarian that registered Republican because I like to win elections. That's pretty much it.

  1. How the hell did you come up with this sick abortion of the mind? This is the dumbest thing I’ve heard in a long time.

  2. That was spot on the money and a great analysis of what Bush is doing. I hope “Alice” will grow to her real size soon though before this gets out of hand.

  3. I only hope that W is held to account for the fact that we just sent 300,000 troops to the Middle East (including 100,000 or so Reservists with better things to do) for completely made-up reasons. Won’t happen, but I can dream, can’t I?

  4. Moral argument: It’s wrong to pre-emptively invade a country.

    Pragmatic argument: We are now more a target of Arab terrorists than before we invaded Iraq.

    My point: Stop worrying about finding WMD. If they found a functioning nuclear warhead in Iraq, would you suddenly support the war?