Rock out with your cock out

Recently (ok, just five minutes ago), I put myself on the open market for adult websites via adultstaffing.com… I like the way they cater directly to those of us who know exactly what industry we like being in. I like porn, who in their right mind wouldn’t?

Here’s the transcript of my “application” with their service, I figure honesty and brazen self-esteem (with the high esteem of others to back you up) MUST be the best policy, because it works so well in the movies and all that:

PHP & SQL pimp (WOAH!)

(June 19, 2002 – stephenvandyke.com) Hi everybody, I’m doing the contract thing now because I enjoy working from home and having the tunes cranked WAY up which lets me rock out with the code. I do PHP, HTML, PERL, JavaScript and I dream in SQL. I design databases like a motherfucker hyped up on PCP (in a good way, not in that crazy streetcorner guy way). Oh yeah, and I’m far from conventional, I don’t BS about work or anything else, I just get things done to supreme satisfaction and you walk away with a giant smile.

I’m in this industry because… well I like porn, who here doesn’t? I’m always helping people find a new edge when working on projects (ie- have you ever laughed while masterbating?) and I have worked with some of the largest names in the industry (LFP, NationalNet, Vivid, et al). If you want your site to be bold and well programmed and want someone who can reach under the covers and give your audience a hard-on then you should seriously consider my expertise.

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