Author Archives: Bill Hick's dead corpse

About Bill Hick's dead corpse

I have just one more thing to say: I told you fuckers to cremate me.

Obama nabs ‘Harold and Kumar’ endorsement

Kal Penn and John Cho — the comedy duo who made their successful film debut with Harold And Kumar Go to WhiteCastle — are high on hypocrisy:

the spot opens with a serious president making what seems to be a serious phone call. “Hey this is Barack,” Mr. Obama says after the unseen party on the other end picks up. “Listen, I need to know if you’re on board.”

How much do you know about US political convention history? A quiz.

Dramatic music begins to swell in the background. “I’m counting on you. Everybody is,” Obama continues. “We have to get this right there’s a lot at stake here. Just remember that I’m trusting you on this, and I’ll see you there.”

Swipe cut to Harold and Kumar’s litter-strewn living room, where they’re watching cartoons on TV. Kumar, quite, uh, out of it, slowly hangs up the phone.

“Who was that? It sounded intense,” says Harold.

“The president,” says Kumar.

“Sweet,” says Harold, with all the emotional intensity of a zombie.

Then something on the TV screen goes “boing,” the actors laugh at the cartoon, and the ad cuts away to a promotion of the campaign’s live stream of DNC events, which Kal Penn is going to host.

OK, is this really a good idea? Two guys whose most popular roles involve large amounts of illegal drug usage, hooked up with the Obama campaign?

After four years of continuing to pursue prohibitionist policies against legalization ambitious states — and working directly with Mexican cartels who trade in dope, dollars and blood — this is just pathetic and oddly surprising that two guys who both made their film debut in a stoner comedy would even go near Obama, much less get on a YouTube video with him hosting and promoting the party convention which will re-ratify prohibition and Obama’s second term undoubtedly full of more of the same.

Not to mention Obama’s own hypocrisy when it comes to recreational drug use.

Open Letter to Kal and John: I am disappointed in you and want to let you know you’ve both just lost a fan (and an entire stoner movie loving household). If you can’t hear me saying this, I’ll just let your accountants tell you later on after I’ve also told all my stoner friends about this and so on and so forth.

However, on the off chance Obama is holding you against your will and told you guys to do this commercial after revealing your parents have been taken to the prison at Guantanamo Bay, I apologize. If that’s the case, blink every time you say “president”.

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Ron Paul’s dirty treatment by media, explained by Justin Beiber

FINE PRINT: We have yet to source the name of who this amazingly informed, Beiber lookalike kid is (it would make for a humorous schtick, quote us on that). Beiber look-alike can’t be unseen once it has been stated, so without any further delay…

In a rare political message from his Malibu estate, Justin Beiber took to the internet to prove he has more common sense about polling standards and reliability in his pinky than CNN’s Candy Crowley and Anderson Cooper, FOX News’ Bret Baier and Bill O’Reilly all put together. He’s so dreamy. He so thoroughly trounces them with facts that we expect he could end up being invited on a few of their shows so they can try to devour him in person like a pack of vicious wolves.

The video is about eight and half minutes long, but past the 5:20 mark you can just ignore the über-loud Ron Paul music video that was stapled on.

We at Hammer of Truth figure if Herman Cain can steal the Pokémon vote, we’ll gladly embrace the Beiber vote. If you need somebody to love in 2012, love Ron Paul.

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Ron Paul love from r/fifthworldproblems

A surreal design tribute to the Ron Paul campaign website in one of the strangest subbreddits (actual screenshot):

Whatever is going on here, it’s working. Where you’re going, you don’t need LSD.

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