Tag Archives: murica

TOON: Conrad the Constitution gets investigated by NSA

Look out kids, the Constitution is back …AND IT HAS A DICK!

And soon, he’s going to fuck those NSA goons in the ass with it.

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Life and death: Hyperbole is a politician’s best friend

Not random enough

I’ve been non-watchdogging the political world for a few weeks, nay a month. I feels *sane* to be more productive rather than ranting about our continuous loss of freedoms. Freedoms wrought from us by an incompetent bureaucracy and powerful police state being erected in contempt of America’s history. We’re galloping into 2013, the Chinese year of the snake. Maybe the Gadsden flag will get dusted off for Tea Party 2.0. Wherein I expect some under-appreciated discontents will finally undigitize the revolution.

Mankind is currently having an identity crisis between eloquent promises of liberty-loving (mostly for themselves) and outright distaste for their fellow man (through their actions of edict and decree). Me? I’m just a programmer coding the shit out of PHP making glorious websites and sometimes issuing my own decree (this is one).

Maybe I’m a selfish prick too, just looking out for #1. Nah, I’ve somehow managed to rope others (ahem, dad) into helping us all tag-team the Revolution while I pretend to do that work thing in an office for pay, (and probably drink too much with coworkers and potential clients).

{cue laugh track with smattering of claps}

Colorado, COLORADO… oh sweet ***Colorado***

I hardly know you, but I’m concerned with your bureaucratic parasites sucking away the freedoms of guns, god and gold (and apparently ganja). Pretty soon they’ll be taking your whiskey away and then it’s back after the weed. How in the world would you fight that again without guns? You wouldn’t, so you shouldn’t back down now.

Dudes… are you smothering them with pot smoke, in which case okay kudos.

The Pueblo and Colorado Springs scene sucks my breath away. Not just because I’ve previously been bopping my head to Ohio’s Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Kid Cudi. But because with indifference and 5000ft altitude, we here also suck when we give them the power over our bodies and minds. But we’re not.

We have the resistance rising up out of antipathy, and it’s going to come from people like you and me, dontchaknow.

So I want you to wish deeply and….

aaaaaaaand…..

aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnddddd…..

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDD!!!!!….

….

…AND THAT’S WHY I TURNED OFF THE ADS AT HAMMER OF TRUTH.

{cue theme song, roll credits}

Seriously though, the rest of the editors around here suck, you’re all fired. Just kidding, maintain your post sitting there consuming Hammer of Truth instead of driving it while I was gone, but without ad revenue no one’s ever getting paid, ever… mwuahahahaha…. /our remaining readers are probably laughing at you

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