Esquire writer Tom Chiarella is counting how many times Bruce Willis relieves himself in this article. Also he counts a lot of other stuff, like pears. By the time we finally get to page three of this awkward pee and pear prose, we’re given the political purview:
The fourth urination follows. He returns, walking around the large hotel bed — it’s a nice Beverly Hills hotel, but the furniture is drabber than you’d think — phone in hand, gets his balls broken for having a small bladder, ticks out a laugh and says, “Don’t judge.”
Why so much preparation for today? Why so little apparent fun in talking about his life, his work, the people he loves?
This brings on the second Willis stare — eyes narrowed, brow wrinkled. “I’ve been through enough of these,” he says. Just that — enough of these, not “enough of these to know.” Enough of these. Then he explains: “I get cranked up, I start talking about Hollywood and what’s wrong with what. Or politics. I might start in on Mitt Romney.”
And with that one simple follow-up, Willis gets mildly cranked up. “Yeah, Romney. He’s just such a disappointment, an embarrassment. Chin up, hair up. He’s just one of those guys, one of those guys who says he’s going to change everything,” he is saying. see more…