Bush Bored Kid

First there was the Star Wars kid, now there is this kid about 13 or 14-years-old who was obviously not interested in whatever Bush had to say at this fundraiser. I call him the “Bush Bored Kid”. David Letterman did a segment on Monday called “George W. Bush: Invigorating America’s Youth”, which showed this kid in all his bored glory. Hilarious.

Video 1 (RealVideo 2.0MB), where he yawns, stretches, and checks his watch.

Video 2 (RealVideo 5.7MB), where David Letterman makes fun of CNN for believing the Whitehouse statement that it was digitally altered.

His father had this to say:

“I accept full responsibility for that,” the forlorn father said. “His mother was out of town, and I let him stay up too late. I should have prepped him better.”

I’d say that no amount of prepping can prepare anyone for the natural sedative effects of a Bush speech.

The David Letterman videos are rehosted here, but were originally found on Over/Spun.

Please link to this post and not directly to the videos, thanks.

UPDATE: Here’s a story about the comedy of errors made by CNN. Apparently you are allowed to make up Whitehouse quotes if you work at CNN, at least that’s what I was told that by their head of public relations. Thanks to Bob for pointing this article.

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How News Travels… In Other Languages

This is a follow-up to “How News Travels on the Internet”. Every couple of days, another site will link to it and there will be a few more hits. Presumably this cycle repeats itself in a wave pattern, with the largest waves at the front. Or so I’ve seen.

Anyways, a lot of the sites aren’t in English, and while I can half-ass read Norwegian (or whatever it was), German, Spanish, and a little French, I make no attempts to quantify my level of Chinese. Apparently the readers of this zhouqiang.com article aren’t versed in English, or they are lazy like me. Anyways, someone posted a link to the infographic, except they changed it all to Chinese. I thought it looked pretty cool, except they didn’t do the legend or the notes, so a bunch of Chinese people probably think I am stupid and it is a horrible graphic.

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Get Your Predecessor Blame On

War Rationale 10.0 (via Blogdex)

And there’s more Richard Clarke than Bush wants on TV. But hey, he’s made his bed, now it’s time to lie in it.

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Gary Nolan on Fox News

First, of all, I don’t watch TV, I don’t even own one (though I do see HBO and 60 Minutes when I have dinner every Sunday at my sister’s house). Even if I did, I most certainly would not be watching Fox News. However, the David Asman interview with Gary Nolan yesterday would have been an exception. I’m fed up with Democrats and Republicans trying to “out-pork” each other and screw up this country with stupid laws and regulations. They have both failed, and Nolan certainly has the gusto to say so and has a plan to reverse their malfeasance.

News; Domestic
Interview with Presidential Candidate Gary Nolan (L)
David Asman
667 words
24 March 2004
Fox News: The Big Story With John Gibson
English
(c) 2004 FDCH / eMedia, Inc. All Rights Reserved.


(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GARY NOLAN (L) PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE:

Third-party presidents have happened in this country before. Abraham Lincoln was a third party. There were the Wigs, the Democrats and the Republicans. So it can happen.
(END VIDEO CLIP)

SV: Good point on Lincoln, what would have helped would have been a contrast to the current incumbent parties. But hey, it’s a video clip and was probably edited for length and to be a good lead in.

ASMAN:

It can happen. That was presidential candidate Gary Nolan, another third party candidate. Nolan is with the Libertarian Party. Of course, he set his sights on the Oval Office. And he joins us now with today’s big question — why should people vote Libertarian, Gary?


GARY NOLAN (L) PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE:

David, you should only vote Libertarian if you want a really strong economy for the middle class and the poor, job opportunities, if you want a clean environment, if you want national defense and affordable health care.

SV: A little humorous rhetoric here, I’d hold it against him if this was a longer interview, but this is actually quite funny in it’s own right.

ASMAN:

But Gary, so far, you have said nothing that the other two candidates are not saying.


NOLAN:

That’s right. They’re all saying it, but only the Libertarian party can deliver.

SV: More rhetoric from the cuff, I hope this is not a crutch for him.

ASMAN:

What do you deliver that the other parties don’t? Let’s put it that way.


NOLAN:

How about really reducing the size of the federal government? I’m not talking Washington speak. I’m talking really reducing the size of the federal government. If we do that, David, and we get rid of this cumbersome and burdensome income tax, imagine what happens to the economy and to the middle class?

SV: Here we go, this is what makes Nolan (and the Libertarian party) appealing to true fiscal conservatives. Remove the social programs, remove the pork, remove the taxes that pay for them. Less government spending, and act in the true sense of government which is to help society get along, not a way to harness some to pull others along.

ASMAN:

Let me just stop you right there. You are here to
say that the first thing you do as president is eliminate the IRS?


NOLAN:

No. I didn’t say that, David, what I said is we have
to reduce the size of the federal government and reduce spending and get rid of the IRS

SV: Of course it’s gradual, I think he should better outline his plans for cutting government spending and what he plans on cutting. Again, this is a winner with Republicans, but I don’t see a lot of Democrats swinging to the idea of voting out social programs.

ASMAN:

So you would eliminate the IRS?


NOLAN:

Eventually, yes, absolutely.

SV: This is a winner with everyone, and no other party ever talks about the IRS directly. The code words are always “cutting taxes” and “budget surplus” but he wants to completely abolish taxes, I’m in awe and surpised no one else jumps on this.

ASMAN:

You wouldn’t put the cart before the horse then? You would slowly lower the cost of government and then eventually get rid of it?


NOLAN:

As quickly as we could, yes. If you look at what happened when we had a Democrat in the White House and a Republican legislature, David, we were in gridlock. And the rate of growth for the federal government was 2.5 percent to 3 percent. Now the Republicans have the House, the Senate and the White House. The rate of growth is 7 to 10 percent and that doesn’t include defense. If you are an advocate of small government and you vote for George Bush, you are advocating big spending. You want to send them a message you can’t vote for John Kerry. But if you vote for me, one of two things will happen, either I will get the momentum to win or I will tip us back into gridlock.

SV: This is the most simple and concise explanation of why our government spending is through the roof that I have heard to date. He nods to the fact that he’s a spoiler for Republicans, but at the same time, it’s a spoiler that would benefit our fiscal outlook. This is the statement that will have Karl Rove shivvering. Nolan is obviously the choice for fiscal conservatives who are aghast at the spending that Bush has been doing.

ASMAN:

Well, you are absolutely right, the president’s spending has been indefensible in terms of his domestic spending, let alone from the 9/11 stuff that was thrown
in. But the big question is how you are going to do it? You have a lot of people in Congress who are going to fight you tooth and nail.


NOLAN:

Just think of me, David, as your designated driver in a room full of drunks. It requires leadership. It is something that is sadly lacking in Washington.

SV: This is the funniest quote from the whole interview. I mean, you can’t even tell if he’s being ironic, because there is a real history of drunks getting into office.

ASMAN:

And from whom – final question, we only have 10 seconds – from whom do you think you would draw your votes? If people do vote for you, are they going to be Democrats or Republicans?


NOLAN:

I suspect we are going to draw from both sides, probably more from Republicans, but that’s all right because we can tip them back into gridlock. For more information, they can go to GaryNolan.com.

SV: And with that “…more from Republicans,” Nolan surely has caught the eye of Rove. But can he draw enough attention to become a viable choice, especially in a year when the stakes are higher than in recent history? If he can get more interviews like this, it may be likely.

ASMAN:

All right, Gary Nolan, the Libertarian candidate.
Gary, good luck. Thanks for coming in. Appreciate it.

Of course I’m biased towords Nolan, I’m a Libertarian. But I think he’s done a great job of sketching his plan for sustained economic reform that America badly needs.

Next week I will be publishing an open letter to George Bush and one to John Kerry (and possibly one to Gary Nolan) regarding their stakes in the 2004 presidential election and leading America out of the abysmal state we’ve created in the past few years.

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You’re not Reading This

Reads web stats…

Checks watch…

Ahh, good. All the people who thought I was a bandwagon to be ridden for a while have left. Which leaves just you, sitting there reading this. Why is that? I really only have one or two good ideas a month anyways. Posting daily is a bit stressfull, especially when it’s supposed to transcend conventional blogging and become opinion mongering.

Now there I go again, spouting some inane jibberish that you probably don’t give a damn about. How about I pander with a link to a funny video clip? Or perhaps a clever website? Should I sell out and post daily with bullshit when I really have nothing to say?

Nah.

I think I’ll just listen to some music, smoke a little reefer and come back tomorrow with the weekend tunes.

….

No wait, I do have something to say. I have a terrible Spring cold (or is it allergies?) and my head has been stuffy, runny, itchy and all the things it says on the bottle. What bottle is that? Why it’s my trusty NyQuil that I’ve been chugging since eleven, I’ve gone through five bottles so far, I’m a little dizzy, but at least I can breathe.

Which reminds me… don’t ever try and “pop” your ears when driving. I did that today and had an insane headrush and my equilibrium totally went haywire. Luckily I’m good at driving drunk so this doesn’t apply to me, but I wanted to share it as a public service announcement.

Here’s another pseudo cartoon. I don’t know WTF to call these:

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Link Orgy goes Beep Beep Beep

Today is just a few posts about Internet stuff I found interesting. I had the follow-up to my “How News Travels on the Internet” halfway done in my browser when someone called me and I hit “refresh” instead of “new tab” in Opera. Then what came out of my mouth was: “beep beep beep beep”. It was a really good post too. I’ll recreate it for tomorrow I guess. That really sucks. Anyways, onward to some links.

Google has created a badass way to essentially search the Yellow pages and match them to the web. It’s called Google Local. Anyways, everyone I show it to pretty much thinks it’s a great way to find some ba-donk-a-donk in your area. I also tried the ego-search on my name, but for some reason there is a subtle suggestion that I see either a urologist, a plastic surgeon and a dentist. I don’t know if this means Google is trying to make some snarky jab at my penis size or not. [found via Daily Rotation]

Iraq on the Record is today’s buzz. It’s a database that “identifies 237 specific misleading statements about the threat posed by Iraq”. This is a prime example of bloggers making something popular, which will no doubt make it’s way to the large news outlets. Of course, I also think this is an excellent idea and resource, otherwise I wouldn’t be linking to it. [via blogdex]

Po-”tay”-to po-”tah”-to. “Superbloggers and the Future of Big Media” discusses how a blogs will start to branch into the news-making side as they become more specialized resources. I think he’s hit it on the head with that assessment, but I also think those blogs will be extensions of news corps, so the flow of information may change, but it will still be coming from the same place. [via blogdex]

Strong Bad finally answers his 100th email. Those of you who tried to find it early got a special treat.

Another flash movie here, except it’s by the guys who did South Park. Apparently Shockwave.com wanted them to make a movie, except they really took off the gloves (and pants). It’s called Princess, and it is very not safe for work. Part 1 Part 2.

And for the stupid Bush trick of the day: Using actors to play reporters who approve of the new Medicare law.

Finally, the history of St. Patrick’s Day. I’m not wearing green, but I did eat some french freedom fries today.

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T4dW IV – Get Your Bukakke On

Note: this article contains dead links, the url is still in the hover/alt text. Keep the web working, curate content well!

gybo t4dw Welcome and hello again. As it is another Friday afternoon, it’s time to find a fresh writeable CD, crack open a beer and burn some fresh new music for the weekend. DJs and enthusiasts alike are encouraged to send music to t4dw at stephenvandyke dot com for my approval or mockery. The image to the right is completely unauthorized and there is no affiliate between stephenvandyke.com and GYBO other than the fact that I regurgitate the good stuff that is posted over there, much like taking a 3-hour long bukakke and editing it to 5-minutes of quality money shots. Onward to the bukakke…

On to this week’s list:

  • Let’s start off cheesy shall we? Some guy named schoenvonhinten figured the A-Team would battle with the Beastie Boys against the bad guys and there would be lots of explosions, with Mr. T saying: “I love it when a plan comes together” (3.4MB – 3:37). Download Sucka!
  • Go Home Productions thought he could keep his beautifully produced Madonna vs The Sex Pistols mashup-ology of Ray of Gob (3.0MB – 2:32) off the web, since he’s gotten the go ahead to sell it legit. We’ll see how long this stays up (thanks to Mr White Label).
  • DJ TiiM blew me away with this awesome mash of Armand Van Helden – Funk Phenomena VS Annie Lennox – Little Bird (6.0MB – 6:30)
  • Cropstar must have blown a hip-hop gasket when he booted Audio Bullys vs Jazzy Jeff to create Shake the Ego (5.0MB – 3:34).
  • Von Riddler wants you to clap your hands and shake your ass to N.E.R.D vs Missy Elliot – She Wants It Really Hot (4.9MB – 3:31).
  • Paul Your Leg was too dumb or lazy to set up his website properly, but you shouldn’t hold that against him because he managed to upload this fine mix of Run DMC vs James Brown called America’s Like That (6.3MB – 4:33). HUH! Get down, uh!
  • Nefarious is another one of those lazy DJs who can’t even put up a website. Maybe he is too busy creating great bootlegs like Crystal Method vs. Sean Paul called Prime Mover – Get Busy (6.8MB – 7:24).
  • And since no weekend is complete without a DJ set mix, here’s Xii with Nintendoclash (39.2MB – 42:46). Proper tracklisting can be found here, may feel a bit oldskool for some of you, but I liked it.

That’s it, there’s no more. I don’t want to see you come back here until Monday. I don’t post on the weekends OK?

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My Terrahsense is Tingling

Traffic is tapering off now, returning to some semblance of “normal” (even less views than Jayson Blair’s new novel). It’s been very exciting seeing my hypothesis work it’s own magic. But today, I’m not going to be talking about that. Because hell, this is my site and if I want to make you wait until Monday to see the full analysis, that’s my prerogative. Besides, tomorrow is T4dW, and I’m already behind since I haven’t downloaded squat from GYBO this week.

But for now, here’s the reason for the odd title of the post. Another one of my captions for recent news about the Spain Rail Blasts. My sadness is with Spain, but my tongue is wagging as usual:

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How Drugs Travel in the Hood

Let’s see… take popular infographic, turn it into a racial parody, repost. Is it fair for me to make fun of my own graphic? Meh, F$&k it, laugh.

how drugs travel in the hood infographic

On another tangent: I came across BugIn today (via Freshmeat). This screenshot is hilarious. *Note to self, do not outsource UI design to local 3rd grade class* Other than that, the software looks pretty decent and I must have had it on my watch list for a reason.

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How I’m Travelling on the Internet

stats snapshotFirst off, wow. 10K+ visits yesterday from 56 separate sources, and the ball is rolling faster today (#5 on Blogdex). I sorta put the cart before the horse in creating a chart without statistical proof, but apparently no one minded. The great thing is that I now have loads of data to back up my claims, but with new questions of course (is RSS an extension of a site, or a new entity?) and the ability to create a real example of propagation. It would be great if I knew Flash since it’s obviously a visual that would benefit from it.

Secondly, to clear up a few things that may have been misunderstood. Since this is still a case-study in news discussion I am still being enlightened by people smarter than me. One fine example is John Hiler’s May 2002 article: “Blogosphere: the emerging Media Ecosystem” (via Mehrzweckbeutel [German to English]). Then there are my initial observations, with context from being on the receiving side of things:
see more…

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How News Travels on the Internet

I read the Wired article Warning: Blogs Can Be Infectious, and thought it was informative. But it seemed to be lacking the big picture view of how the news travels. The Blog Epidemic Analyzer was also amusing and showed how attribution is underrated, but it too seemed sorely lacking cohesion, nor was it a very new topic. So I thought to myself: “Hey this isn’t all that complicated, I should make a visual diagram to illustrate this”. And this infographic was born.

Here’s how I see news travel, I think it’s a pretty self-explanatory graphic, plus I’m too lazy to do a proper write up. Infer as you wish, maybe I will become the “source” one of these days.

how news travels on the internet infographic

see more…

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Bush: He Speaks Awesome Spanish

Bush Parody AdOne day. One single, solitary fucking day! It’s just unbelievable how fast and talented people of the Internet are. On the afternoon of Wed the 3rd of March 2004, the reelection campaign for Bush released advance web notice, and videos of campaign ads. A little over 24 hours later on the 4th of March, Music for America releases a parody of the Bush ad, and the humor quality is through the fucking roof!

Here’s a direct link to the ad if you don’t know what to click or you are just completely lazy.

(link via blogdex.net)

UPDATE: Music for America seems to be down, but I was able to download the video when it was up. Here’s my local copy of it (8.72MB) [deprecated link]. Please do not directly link to the file or I will pull it, upload it to your own site/server and don’t rape my bandwidth.

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T4dW III – Kleptones-mania

Kleptones - Yoshimi Battles The Hip-Hop RobotsThis weekend’s tunes are a little more mellow, but you’ll have to forgive me for saying that the Kleptones have created a masterpiece of hip-hop smoothness with their mix-tape called “Yoshimi Battles The Hip-Hop Robots” . It’s hip-hop set to the beats of the Flaming Lips (Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots), the result is very interesting and beautifully done. In their own words: “This is not Art – This is a mixtape.” in my words, superb, and between you and me, I do consider it art. Supposedly, this is a secret, as in “secret spring collection”, this is certainly to be the buzz amongst DJs and bloggers alike, if it make the right kind of ripples in the blogosphere. Hopefully the RIAA folks won’t get their panties in a bunch like they did over the DJ DangerMouse album.

First, a proper track listing:

  • 01 Fight In The Club
  • 02 Song Of The Hip-Hop Robots
  • 03 Sympathy For The Almighty
  • 04 Love Song For Yoshimi
  • 05 Battle Sequence
  • 06 My People Feel That Way In The Morning
  • 07 Chess Game At The Gates Of Hell
  • 08 Are You A Visionary?
  • 09 Breathe In The Summertime
  • 10 Have You Come To Realise
  • 11 All We Have Is Soul
  • 12 Last Words (A Tribute)

Download them all from the secret spring collection page. If you ignore the advice: “this page could disappear very soon – be quick”, you can download them this mirror (which could also be gone soon, who knows).

Props to xii for the album cover, originally posted here (scroll to the bottom).

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Get Your Spoiler On

Personally, I’d rather see Hunter S. Thompson run, but that’s probably just the drugs talking.

One more… funny in a slap-me-because-I’m-retarded kind of way, I think. Get Your Dr. Evil On:

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Get Your Election On

Props to David Reese, of Get Your War On infamy.
Also, props to Joe Stump, I bounce comedy ideas off him all the time (and trade urls to funny shit). The punchline on this is his.

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I voted Motherfucker

So, today is Super Tuesday in the election primaries, only I think the phrase is weakened without proper alliteration, so I hereby declare that everyone has to say it with a lisp, therefore today ith now Thupor Toothday!!!1!one!

I went to the polling precinct because I wanted to vote. Luckily I found out that there is a mind-boggling choice of two parties that you can choose on the poll card (table number one). You are then told to go to the table that says either Democrat or Republican. Both tables were beside each other and there was no difference except that one had this huge stack of money on it and Hooters girls. Well, actually it was a bunch of old people they must bus in from some retirement home.

Aside from me, there was a whole one other person voting at the time, so I think someone is going to have to cast a tie-breaker for my county. I got to vote on the state flag (again), because apparently here in Georgia we like to put a new one up every couple of years. I voted on the new one, I figure by 2035 we’ll have the old rebel flag again, except it will be drawn with crayon by some 4th grader, and will feature a giant rainbow colored fist in the center.

Aside from that, I apologize for not posting yesterday. Instead I read some Faulkner and went to bed.

If I’m boring you, oh well… here’s a video clip of some Jerry Springer for Russia talk-show like where this dude kicks the shit out of a woman in a bride’s dress, then all hell breaks loose. It’s some totally fucked up shit.

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T4dW – Not responsible for Dain Bramage

Another week, another set of tunes for the (da) weekend. This week I had to sort through a selection of over 80 songs and, though I’d love to post everyone one of them, some simply didn’t make the cut. Apologies in advance to those who didn’t, I still love you (and I’m certainly not the authority on music). Keep making great music guys.

I also want to respond to what Al3x said about the art of mash-ups:

“Most of the stuff Stephen links to would make a great soundtrack for your weekend partying (as he suggests), but you’ll be sick of it by Monday.”

He’s right, but I have to say that for every twenty or so mash-ups that make for simple weekend music, there’s one that’s going to stand out and survive the test of longevity, some artists like Go Home Productions and SoundHog, are making a science out of this by making songs that will classic bootlegs. I’ll include them of course from time to time as they release noteworthy songs (many of which are, but such compilations seem to take longer to create). That said, I played this CD at a party, and most everyone was listening with huge eyes, asking “what the fuck is that, it rocks”, especially that Outkast/Queen mash-up.

Ok, now that I’ve said my little spiel, don’t think that I’m going to stick my nose up in the air and only choose songs for their longevity, after all, my claim is only for the weekend (although I don’t recommend tossing the CD come Monday morning). Just enjoy my selections, and tune in to GyboFM during the week if this doesn’t satisfy your weekly fix for badass DJ mixes.

And now… drumroll please… Tunes For (4) the (da) Weekend (T4dW):

  • A DJ by the name of Lazy Tramp imagined that David Bowie got coked up one weekend with the Beastie Boys and went to a stripclub to perform Let’s Pole Dance (3.4MB – 3:38). If this is true, permit me to pass Bowie a line.
  • Mr. Trick made this nice mix of Will Smith’s latest rap over the top of classic rock riffs, loops and beats. Black Sabbath, Led Zep, Iggy Pop, AC/DC, Cypress Hill and The Fugees. Nod Ya Head (3.2MB – 3:26)
  • Fujukato, together with Frank Funk, has an original tune called Friday Night Update (3.3MB – 3:29). You will dance to this, unless you have no rhythm.
  • DJ A-Team funked out Dusty Springfield – Son of a Preacher Man, added a teensy splash of Aerosmith – Walk This Way, and makes you want to boogey with Walk Like a Preacher Man (2.7MB – 2:52).
  • DJ Mei Lwun has a really good long mix that will get any party going called HIPster-Hop (42MB – 61:01). Seriously, it has class.

This week’s list may seem a little short, but I’m trying to contrain myself to a 72 minute CD, and HIPster HOP kinda made it difficult. I may break this format as I’ve been seeing more downtempo mixes and really long mixes where one or two would fill up a CD (speaking of which, if you haven’t downloaded the Strictly Kev’s Raiding the 20th Century (51.9MB – 39:04), well then you should). If anyone wants to point me to original remixes or interesting music, please email me at: mail AT stephenvandyke DOT come. Until next week, Enjoy!

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George “Dubya” Bush Blow Up Sex Doll

Introducing, the Gorge “Dubya” Bush blow up sex doll.

bush blow up dollDubya is just waiting for a bit of action with this replica blow up sex toy. True to life, he is barely endowed, with 2.5″ of hard penis (Viagra not included) ready to fill you up whenever you desire. Dubya is bi-sexual and loves to play with women and women only. Features realistic moulded face with salt and pepper moulded hair, a realistic wide-open mouth, semi-well-endowed realistic dildo (removable) and a tight (very tight) anus that should not be touched, looked at or even talked about. Conservatively priced at only $190.25 billion.

The deluxe version (add $30.00) includes a vibrating cock, BigoTech™ voicebox with 4 sexy phrases, certificate of sexual preference, sexy flight suit for roleplaying, and Alabama National Guard dental records.

Order now and we’ll throw in a free Jerry Falwell midget blow up doll (not pictured) that we are desperate to get rid of. Features BigoTech™ voicebox and comments on your sexual activites with such joyous phrases as: “AIDS is the wrath of a just God against homosexuals”; “This homosexual steamroller will literally crush all decent men, women, and children who get in its way”; and “Raw sex between unhuman beings with three heads and God alone knows what sort of reproductive apparatus”.

Call us now at 202-456-1414, order lines are open.

Or use our secure online order form.

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Grey Tuesday

DJ Dangermouse - Grey Album CoverSo today is Grey Tuesday. What that means is that 184 web sites are hosting the DJ Dangermouse – Grey Album, and another 152 are “going grey” in solidarity, with numbers subject to go up as more people hop on the proverbial I-wanna-pirate-shit-too-even-though-it’s-not-piracy-bandwagon. So if you haven’t heard the album everyone is talking about, featuring Jay-Z’s grating voice ruining perfectly remixes of The Beatles—I got the Grey Album weeks before the wave had formed—then run off and download to your heart’s content, have at it. The production itself is strong and flows cleanly, sounds superb and matches, but the Black Album was simply bland and monotonous (the blame for which Jay-Z plays a major contributor to). To DJ Dangermouse’s credit, I do like his “Ghetto Pop Life” remix/bootleg album, which is authorized. I plan on buying that in short order, so chalk one sale up to publicity.

On the downside, I’m not going to host (this is a comp account from work) or go grey (too lazy to finish the site design, much less change for a day), but I will say that I think music sampling should be legal, or more legal than it is now. Regardless, it won’t stop me from posting music to places like GYBO (Get Your Bootleg On) or doing my T4dW (Tunes for the Weekend), which is largely made up of bootlegs and mash-ups.

The interesting thing about all of this? The New Yorker article that started all of this—The Mouse that Remixed—has not been mentioned at all, and it was written by me… no just kidding, though that would be funny in an ironical way to a few of my friends.

Danger Mouse cartoon punSecond interesting thing? I hereby declare 2004 to be the year of bootleg music. Pop is dead, long live (bootleg) pop. I expect to see a spike of people visiting for my weekly T4dW picks. I’m going to be the motherfucking Rick Dees of bootlegging/bastard pop/mash-up music picking.

Third interesting thing… better snag any images of the real Danger Mouse (a.k.a – the 80s cartoon), because in 3 months or so many of the better google image searches will show the Grey Album cover (yoink) instead of the one-eyed cartoon rat (ahem, mouse) many of us grew up watching.

Update: Byron Crawford has a review which I completely agree with. “It’s the Black Album meets the White Album, so it’s already got a certain coolness to it, but if that’s all it had, you’d only listen to it once or twice and then toss it aside. You know, like all of the other Jay-Z albums [...] the genius is in the execution. I could’ve come up with the idea, but nobody could’ve made that shit work like Danger Mouse did.” Bravo!

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T4dW (Tunes for the Weekend) – Every Friday

I thought I’d start a tradition here by sharing my favorite music that I found during the week. Mostly I will peruse music that people have posted on the GYBO (Get Your Bootleg On) message board, and regurgitate my favorites for you in what is already a tradition on the GYBO board (though sometimes weeks can pass without a post on the subject). So I present my musical primer for the weekend, guaranteeing new music, fresh beats and funky downloads: T4dW.

  • Kick it off with a mash-up by Happy Larry, featuring Aretha Franklin, Nirvana and [DJ] Jazzy Jeff he calls Respect the Teen Spirit Boom (6.7MB).
  • Agent Lovelette managed to put Ludacris in a time machine, send him to the 80s, and sing “Stand Up” with Cameo playing “Word Up”… the result is the excellent mashup Stand Up (4.7MB).
  • Bring it down a notch for a moment with an unknown demo song by Queen, called New York (2.1MB), quite good, can’t wait to see a remix.
  • Poj Masta rocks the digital turntables with this quickie, but glitch-tastic, remix of Stylophonic’s Way of Life (2.1MB).
  • Once Poj has a grip on you, he doesn’t let go, and pumps a glitched up version of Britney Spears’ Toxic (4.6MB) at you until your ears bleed, except it’s a good thing.
  • Cry on My Console has a lovely mashup called I Snapped the Casbah! (3.3MB). Mixing Daft Punk – Revolution 909, The Clash – Rock The Casbah, Snap – The Power and Les Rythmes Digitales – About Funk, it’ll load up nicely for any bumping party
  • DJ Danger Mouse, the mofo everyone is going nuts over because of his Grey Album, has a nice krunk mashup of 50 Cent vs. Tom’s Diner (3.7MB). (via Boom Selection)
  • DJ Prince brings us back to listening to Queen – We will Rock You, but he thought it would sound better if they had OutKast – Hey Ya! playing in the back ground: it does (3.3MB)
  • Kareem Abdul Jabastaard may not be bringing much game to the court, but he hit the turntables pretty hard and invites you to Come walk Away, Hoes (4.3MB). Nicely mixed with: Styx – Come Sail Away + Kelis – Milkshake + Ludacris – Area Codes + Aerosmith – Walk this Way.
  • Soundhog throws some musical division at you with this mix of The Proclaimers vs 2 Bad Mice and comes up with 500 Bad Mice (4.3MB)

And for the big finale mix, JoolsMF dishes up an impressive look back at the 20th century in this little ditty he calls… 20th Century (19.1MB).

  • Nightmares on Wax – Ease Jimi
  • Aim – Ain’t Got No Time to Waste
  • Brad – 20th Century
  • Jorge Ben – Ponta de Lanca Africano (Umbabarauma)
  • Bentley Rhythm Ace – Bentleys Gonna Sort You Out
  • Ozomatli – Aqui No Sera
  • Air – All I Need
  • Beach Boys – ‘Til I Die
  • Elliott Smith – LA
  • Jimi Hendrix – Voodoo Child (slight return)
  • Kula Shaker – Govinda
  • Marlena Shaw – California Soul
  • Nitin Sawney – Nadia

So download these great songs, grab a fresh writeable CD, and enjoy the weekend tunes. See you next week.

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Che Guevara-keteer

I decided to bastardize the icon of revolution with this tongue-in-cheek image of Che wearing a Mickey Mouse hat. I would have liked to add him wearing a t-shirt with Bart Simpson on it (idea from a New Yorker magazine comic a few weeks back) and perhaps drinking a Coke, but alas… I couldn’t find an image with proper cropping.

Che Guevara, El Revolucion del Mickey

P.S. – tomorrow features a special “Tunes for the Weekend” post with links to music for you to burn.

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Dean “Suspends” Campaign on my Advice

Dean announced he is “suspending” his campaign today, thanks in no part to my reasonable and well thought out article on the subject. Of course, do I get credit for this revelation? No.

You might say that this is not “flipping out” as I had advocated, and for this I should probably clarify myself. When I said “flip out”, I had meant: confuse everyone by withdrawing, but not withdrawing, while not conceding or telling anyone what the hell is going on. See? I was right all along. Ok, maybe not.

I do think that Dean has somehow lost all motivation, and that includes giving a rousing concession speech which should rally his supporters to move on to support his old opponent (most likely Edwards), but Dean must have the notion that he’s still in this race, even if only for a VP slot. Someone tell him he’s not: Kerry will pick Edwards or loose-lipped Clark over Dean, simply out of spite, or probably more importantly (according to the media folks), because those two actually give him a chance at garnering Southern votes. Dean on the other hand, might help with the Southern contingency with “the Confederate flags in their pickup trucks”, but that might scare the ultra-liberals making up the core of… what’s that?… the Democratic Party. That’s right Dean, Democratic Party, not Confederate Party.

So while Dean retreats to his home in Vermont and slides off the national radar—praying that the word “suspension” will somehow absolve him of the need to campaign and that a magical constituency of people who vote for candidates who are still on the ballot but officially washed up will appear—Kerry and Edwards solidify their camps and and give each other love taps while simultaneously attacking Bush. Dean goes home, but leaves his name on the ballot in silent protest. Perhaps people will vote for him out of pity, but I doubt it.

In other news, since John Kerry turned out to be an asexual bore, everyone is starting to look in Edward’s pants, but much to their dismay.

There’s more at Allah is in the House (via Wonkette).

UPDATE FROM 2011: LOL, EDWARDS. Despressingly ironic, right?

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What are the Odds of Two Skull and Bones Members Vying for the Presidency?

SKULL AND BONES ODDS
(Progressive Review via Wonkette)

[We asked readers for the odds of 600 Skull & Bones members of presidential age having two colleagues running against each other for the presidency.]

BPD – Apparently 100%.

MARK MOTYKA, MATHEMATICS LEAGUES – The odds of a Skull and Bones vs Skull and Bones Presidential election, using the numbers you gave for the estimate, would be the sqare of (600/146,000,000), or about one chance in 59,211,111,111. However, there is a glitch: since one of the two Bonesmen was already appointed to the position by the SCOTUS, we have a conditional probability for this particular election. That is, one of the candidates WILL be a Bonesman. In this particular case, the odds that Bush would run against another bonesman would be 600/146,000,000, or about one chance in 243,333. All of the above assumes the usual two candidate duopoly that our media so happily reinforces. Should Americans have a choice of more then than two presidential candidates, the odds are considerably lower.

EDDIE M. ABBOTT, M.D. – 1 chance in 60 billion. Pretty unlikely. But you also need to factor in the increased likelihood of a Yale graduate being president when compared to an Arkansas high school dropout. Don’t know how to do that.

RUTH ROWAN MA – Random chance of two skull and bones members running for president is in one in 59 billion ((600/146million)squared). But Gide would tell you to doubt that.

YALE PROFESSOR OF STATISTICS – What appears straightforward may not always be so. There are many assumptions one must make to proceed with the problem. If we impose very naive assumptions such that (i) party affiliation is not an issue, (ii) that each age-eligible person in Skull & Bones is just as likely as any other to run for president, and, (iii) more generally, we assume each age-eligible person in the overall population is just as likely as one another to run for president, then we proceed as follows. We sample two people to run for president from the overall age-eligible population at random, and see if both of them are from Skull & Bones. This is an example of a hypergeometric probability, and the answer is: 1.686043e-011

That is a VERY SMALL probability. We can add additional assumptions that take away some of the randomness of the above selection process (thereby, making the calculations more difficult), as we would certainly think that there is a greater probability that individuals from Skull & Bones would run for president versus a general age-eligible person in the entire population.

Well, that settles that question. Now who wants to be the first to throw the “c”-word around? Oh CBS! E tu?

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