Shave Your Kiwis

This is just too damn funny, as seen on Boing Boing

( -)-(- )Comments Off

The Blog Dedicated to Me

Oh how I’ve dreamed of this day, my very own idiot savant desperately trying to shine doubt on this blog… by of course starting his own blog. His words are almost self-referential: If nobody reads his controversial blogs anymore, maybe the poor little bastard will crawl into a corner and weep.

I suppos spelling my name wrong is supposed to be some kind of insult I’ve never heard before (VanDick? Perhaps you haven’t heard that VanDickless was far more popular in grade school). Clever you are, mysterious blog provocateur, perhaps you can make your mamma jokes next and wow us with your riffs.

I almost have a suspicion that this is an elaborate hoax. Perhaps our mysterious guest can tell us exactly what’s wrong with what I write about instead of spewing forth stupidity at every turn. Blog on, great misdirected fool, it amuses me to no end.

( -)-(- )13 comments

Cleanup in the Produce Section

Every so often I see a rant or rambling so goddamn crazy on my own blog, that I just have to post the damn thing verbatim on the front page with my own reply, raking him over the coals in an assault of intellectual masturbation that defies my own logic of why I do it in the first place.

It all began with this post on Terri Schiavo being a veggie, but it’s really about the nuts claiming Terri Schiavo being aware (she wasn’t) and wanting to save her because she was gonna snap out of it, then realizing that she was a fruitloop, they changed their tune to say this is bad voodoo because Jesus said so and why do you hate America anyways ya fucking liberal elite (unless you’re Jesse Jackson, not extorting companies that day).

So here’s the intelligent reply in the comments, from Seth Wind:

Terri Schaivo Comment [ed- yes, this was actually part of the comment, I would say something funny here, but I don't have the heart to kick retards]

I have to rebut to your comment, Mr. VanDick. First of all let me start by saying that this has nothing to do with politics, or right wing policies. If you watched the news, which you probably didn’t because you are so uninformed, you might recall that Rev. Jesse Jackson (a left-wing liberal) was at the protest and asked them to reinsert her feeding tube. Thumbs up Jesse!!!!

Additionally, the supreme court needs a reality check, and that is an understatement! I find it appalling that they said that: “keeping Terri alive is ‘unconstitutional'”. First of all, they are saying the complete opposite of the reality. The constitution clearly states that everyone is entitled to: 1.LIFE 2.LIBERTY 3.HAPPINESS.

Terri wasn’t entitled to any of the above.

What does this show society?
That’s right, the Supreme Court disregards the constitution of the United States and makes up any little laws they want to without input from the public, which is truly a crying shame.

So when you idiots say that her starvation was painless, I’d like you to try starving yourself sometime. Just try going two weeks without eating anything. If you’re still alive, tell us just how painless starvation is.

But then, after catching his breathe nearly a half hour later, Seth has the following to add while intentionally hitting the returnkey as it wrapped the comment box (compulsive much?):

P.S.
Just a few additional comments:

A) How can prisoners on death row get a last
meal before execution?
But an innocent woman who committed no
crime whatsoever is refused food and water!

B) What does this say about society? Is this
Nazi, Germany? Do we believe that the
handicapped are useless in society. Is this
your “final solution”, Mr.VanDick?

C) Watch who you call a vegetable, Mr.VanDick!
It seems that you have to much time on your
hands to create blogs like this one.

D) Why did the police hinder protestors from
giving Terri food and water?
Were they afraid she might choke to death?!
She was going to die from starvation anyway!
Any bit of food would have helped.

E) I’ve heard of force-feeding, but never
forced-starvation.

F) Next in America: Concentration camps for the
handicapped.

G) If America didn’t protect Terri, they
surely won’t protect anyone!

H) The Supreme Court is runned by a bunch of
goofballs! (and that is putting it nicely)

So, it should be no surprise to anyone to see that I had to take the bait of the common trolling wingnut, wrap it around my ginormous pinkie and lick it like a lollypop while writing the following rebuttal:

How’s about we ratchet down the rhetoric for a sec and consider two things: SCOTUS is full of wingnut ideologues who are voting very disturbingly these days, no debate; And, Terri was a fucking braindead vegetable.

1) How can anyone from a religious Christian argument cast stones at a marriage pact where the partner has watched their loved one wither after such a tragedy. May he burn in brimstone according to those folks, surely.

2) Perhaps you should realize that while I didn’t specify SCOTUS in my commentary, I think it’s egregious to pass laws or rulings for individuals when there are such more pressing issues going on (One death is a tragedy, 1500 is a statistic?). Of course, then again I think there should be a law giving me loads of cash at my front door every day, but yet I still end up having to work, what a damn shame.

3) When you are a fucking vegetable, with the pain and sensory receptors in your brain in a lovely liquid suspension of Jell-O pudding pops, the difference between shitting on yourself and eating a ham sandwich essentially becomes a lesson in semantics. Ever wonder why you see the guy in the wheelchair not give a shit when he gets stabbed in the leg? It’s because he can’t feel a damn thing.

4) You are a moron and have no excuse for living in civilized society, kill yourself now. You are the scum of the earth and the dirge on this great country. Your inane rantings with only soundbites and regurgitated talk radio quotes is the reason I wake up every day and curse the motherfuckers running this country, because they try to cater to idiots like you instead of getting their shit together and being responsible to the people because they fear the shit out of us calling them on it.

Wake up, and stop being a douche.

And the Lord rejoiced, because He saw it was good that the hypocrite was thrashed, and yeah did they celebrate with much buttsex, for they were dirty liberals and they hung out with Jesus back in the day and hooked that dude up with Mary Magdelene. Selah.

( -)-(- )6 comments

Still Alive!

Woops, I had a busy week last week and didn’t have any time to blog. Some big news on the libertarian political front for me, but I can’t announce quite yet due to a NDA with the candidate. I will be posting more billboard submissions later today, there are quite a few. Keep sending them in and coming up with ideas… I’m really digging all the suggestions so far.

Remember the deadline is July 29th 2005, and then it goes to a popular vote-down (ranked order, like all votes should be).

( -)-(- )1 comment

Hotel Lost Liberty

A libertarian group has drafted a proposal for land repurposing in Weare, New Hampshire — seeking to start the application process to build a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill Road. This is the present location of Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter’s home. From the press release:

Clements, CEO of Freestar Media, LLC, points out that the City of Weare will certainly gain greater tax revenue and economic benefits with a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill Road than allowing Mr. Souter to own the land.

The proposed development, called “The Lost Liberty Hotel” will feature the “Just Desserts Café” and include a museum, open to the public, featuring a permanent exhibit on the loss of freedom in America. Instead of a Gideon’s Bible each guest will receive a free copy of Ayn Rand’s novel “Atlas Shrugged.”

Clements indicated that the hotel must be built on this particular piece of land because it is a unique site being the home of someone largely responsible for destroying property rights for all Americans.

“This is not a prank” said Clements, “The Towne of Weare has five people on the Board of Selectmen. If three of them vote to use the power of eminent domain to take this land from Mr. Souter we can begin our hotel development.”

Thus the first shot of the revolution has been fired. Over 200 years ago, our forefathers tarred and feathered officials and burned down the homes of those who represented the tyranny of the British Crown and their theft of land from colonists. Now our fighting technique has evolved into using the government’s own tyrannnical laws against them in such an extremely ironic manner that people will quickly realize how overbearing our government has finally become.

Perhaps Justice Souter should be given a lifetime supply of humble pie at the “Just Desserts Café” in exchange for his home. (thanks Joe and Gary)

» Press Release Freestar Media
» Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter?

( -)-(- )10 comments

LP Billboard: “All for the Public Good?”

Chris Monnier submitted a Homeland Tyranny Advisory System and also this gem mocking the anti-smoking vendetta:

all for the public good
( -)-(- )9 comments

LP Billboard: “Original Patriot Act”

Another from me.

Original Patriot Act
( -)-(- )13 comments

Billboard Entry: “Fire the Government, again”

Fire the government, again

This one is me again, I’m posting all the entries submitted so far which had images. Remember you can link your entry to any of these contest posts or send it in via email.

( -)-(- )3 comments

Toothpaste for Dinner

my favorite webcomic just got featured over at Slate with a largely positive review

( -)-(- )Comments Off

Libertarian Billboard Contest

libertarian billboard

I want to kick off a round of libertarian media outreach by sponsoring a billboard contest. Send your best mockups to me via email, or link to them in the comments here and in 1 months time (official day: July 29th, 2005) we’ll take them all and vote it down to the best. Donations will then be asked for (either through the LP if they want to endorse this, or public fundraising a la Spread Firefox) and we’ll stick this sucker in the middle of downtown D.C. on as many billboards and ad spaces as we can raise money for.

Let’s see the media and politicos try to ignore us when we brazenly stick it in their face during their daily commute.

( -)-(- )26 comments

Stormy Outlook on Iraq: Small Monkey Advisory

Rummy has a plan

Secretary of Defense Don “tiger claw” Rumfseld today tried to defend the lack of direction apparent in Iraq. At one point Rummy came to the defense of General Abazaid after the General pulled this quote from his ass and attributed it to a soldier:

“When my soldiers say to me and ask me the question whether or not they’ve got support from the American people or not, that worries me. And they’re starting to do that.”

Bullshit General, let me tell the soldiers who they don’t have the support of, the military fucks swinging their dicks in the Pentagon spending fuckloads of money on space lasers, strap-on nukes and anal defense shields to keep gays from translating Abdullah Whajimidafoo’s plans for the next 9/11.

Clearly, the only people who are actually supporting them are those who are asking how the fucking WAR is going, asking whether perhaps we could oh, I don’t know… win it… call it a truce… or just cowboy up and say we’re sorry, chop off Saddam’s head, clear the fuck out, and call it a day.

Except somehow, a tyrannical regime of a country has turned into an expansive muslim jihadi summer camp, and we can’t fucking leave. What’s the answer? That’s anybody’s fucking guess, but I doubt a lot of people are walking around thinking “hey, I sure know Iraq is fucked up today, I wonder if it’s the troops I should be blaming.”

Yeah, General… you might want to practice pulling a few more quotes out of your ass to loosen it up for the flying butt monkeys.

UPDATE: Tangent of the moment that I agree with — military service is essentially a contract and not an immediate bestowal of hero status and super powers.

General Says Iraq Insurgency Still Active [AP]

( -)-(- )4 comments

Soldier Dress-Up

hilarious captioning for an ad selling desert camo hats [via]

( -)-(- )Comments Off

All your Property are Belong to U.S.

5-4 SCOTUS ruling: “local government may seize private property for purposes of profit-making private development” UPDATE: justice opinions

( -)-(- )Comments Off

Dare to Burn

with only one flag desecration this year, it’s a safe bet that the amendment is meant to promote more symbolic burnings

( -)-(- )Comments Off

Medical MJ Raids

for everyone who said the DEA wasn’t going to bother enforcing this: STFU! [via]

( -)-(- )Comments Off

China Eyes Unocal

landmark bid of $18.5 billion dwarfs Chevron’s attempts, stirs protectionists to act hypocritical

( -)-(- )Comments Off

Pentagon Promo

they hired a marketing firm to create a database of teens and college students, yech

( -)-(- )Comments Off

Housing Pop

Very soon now, very very soon (to answer the end question, I’d bet on Orange Co, CA)

( -)-(- )Comments Off

Hillary in ’08?

Political insiders on both sides agree she’s the primaries contender, but may be too liberal to win the general

( -)-(- )Comments Off

Libertarian T-Shirt Idea

Would you buy this shirt? Or is it crap?

Dick and Jane libertarian

( -)-(- )12 comments

Unreceptive Woes

psst… the senator would like it to be known that he actually has friends, pass it on

( -)-(- )Comments Off

Smog Traders

a libertarian concept of selling emissions vouchers; SUV owners don’t seem to care

( -)-(- )Comments Off

These Colors Don’t Burn

Congress passed the anti flag burning amendment, because hey… it’s been a week since the last dumb law

( -)-(- )Comments Off