LP.org Sponsors T-Shirt Contest

So the LP is having a libertarian t-shirt design contest. They are using the over-priced, under-quality Cafe Press, but I can’t really knock them for that because it’s convenient for them to pursue that avenue.

I’m thinking this is a really good time to cross-plug the Hammer of Truth billboard design contest too, since the submission deadline is only a week away: Friday, July 29th.

How about submitting to both? Maybe we can get some kickass tees and a really good billboard in downtown DC to converge at the same time?

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Dance Dance SCOTUS Nomination

Ok, so we all know conservative John Roberts is Bush’s pick to replace Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor. No big surprise that he’s an anti-abortion/pro-life nominee… frankly that doesn’t concern me as long as his street cred as a state’s rights conservative lives up to the hype.

What does make me pause, is that this guy will be on the panel of the ultimate check and balance on our government and essentially the final authority of our lives. Basically, telling us how to live our lives and handing down decrees and opinions on how we are allowed to raise our families.

And he can’t even control his own fucking kid. I mean shit… I would have flipped out if my kid was doing disco moves in a presidential press conference, and he would have been grounded for at least a year.

Which leads us to the obvious sticking point for a conservative justice… the abortion issue. I have a theory, and it’s this: misery loves company.

Seriously… I’m betting Roberts is bitter about abortion because his own rugrat turned out to be an ADD-riddled monster and wants everyone to suffer with their own hellacious accidental child. Just a theory here.

UPDATE: Knappster has similar sentiment, but more about Roberts being a waste of time to filibuster:

If Senate Democrats are smart, they’ll roll out the red carpet, put on their best smiles, effusively endorse and overwhelmingly vote to confirm Roberts. They should save their ammo for the much more meaningful fights that are probably coming their way.

Frankly, I think this is a dead-end nominee to argue over, but who knows what the Democrats are thinking strategically these days anyways.

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Amtrack Gets Handout

“Senate boosts Amtrak budget, earning veto threat.”

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Kiss My Taxes

“A presidential panel said Wednesday that the alternative minimum tax, designed to snare affluent tax dodgers but now hovering over the middle class, should be abolished.”

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Flip Flops in the White House

White House Flip Flops

Let’s discuss the notion of flip flops in the White House and what they mean to society that demands better government and responsibility.

This isn’t another story about Karl Rove outting CIA Agent Valerie Plame. We find that story so… 2004.

Nay, this is about foot attire, and why we should be snobs about just what those feet are clad in when they cross the threshold into our nation’s most prestigious home. For it is persniferous of our great and vast culture to look past this encroachment upon our civil order with the uncouth exposed toes of the common tramp and tourist.

Holy shit, I think I was channeling Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain! Someone should order His Majesty’s Royal Marines to hurl these hooligans off the property at once.

That would be an indictment of character: George Bush is a fucking snob. The cowboy with a sarcastic smile is showing his roots as a Connecticut priss and elitist schmuck. What a fucking hypocrite: Mah new cowboy boots that I shoveled sheeyit in Texas wit shore duz look good in this here Oval Office, y’all. Hey you… get dem durned flippity floppers outta mah office!

Working three jobs is cleared for take-off as the new “uniquely American,” flashing your tits on camera in the East Room is so… white trash (but thanks for voting for us, you redneck hillbillies who love NASCAR). What the fuck is there to say except… “show us your feet, and fetch me a beer, woman!”

Oops, got a little carried away there, we don’t want to encourage anything like that. Even if you did want to take tourist photos of yourself in the State Dining Room with your dick or nipple hanging out and a shit-eating grin under blanked out faces and send it to us via email, there’s no way we would be able to run it as our headline and send it over to Wonkette…

Because you’d probably forget to use your camera phone…

But hey, we were talking about flip flops in the White House for fuck’s sake, so go ahead and get angry about people who desecrate those hallowed halls in their improperly clad feet. And ignore the Dick and Bush and all the other boobs floating around, because we’re sure you understand that there’s no disconnect between being a snob and a good ole boy at the same time. We know you’d like to drink a beer and hang out with them the same time you’re getting drilled up the ass by big business, because between us… we’ve heard it’s pretty much always free beer wherever you go and sign up to get drilled up the ass.

So please… for the sake of your country, and your love of God, remember this: we attest there are no flip flops in the White House, nor have there ever been; Bush is royalty, and you like drinking beer with Bush and having him drill you up the ass, even though he doesn’t drink beer or buy any for you. And Karl Rove is a figment of your imagination, he is not the droid drudge you seek and exists on a plane of imaginary figures like unicorns and the Easter bunny.

Flip flops, people… what the hell?

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Patriots Unwanted

According to a report Ron Paul’s office says the Patriot Act reauthorization is set to pass the House on Thursday or Friday.

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Cat Scratch Governor

Motor City Madman Ted Nugent may decide to run for Governor of Michigan in 2006.

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Mayor Stripped Of Job

“Acting Mayor Michael Zucchet and Councilman Ralph Inzunza were convicted Monday of trading political favors for campaign contributions from a strip-club owner.” The mayor has resigned.

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Rapping About Terrorism

“Bassam Khalaf was paid to help keep U.S. air travel safe as a baggage screener. His alter ego, the Arabic Assassin, rapped about flying a plane into a building.”

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Missouri Screws Strip Clubs

“People younger than 21 cannot go into and cannot work at strip clubs. Total nudity is banned.”

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Bush To Fix Leak

President Bush said Monday that if anyone in his administration committed a crime in connection with the public leak of the identity of an undercover CIA operative, that person will “no longer work in my administration.”

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China Flips Out

Is “prepared to use nuclear weapons against the US if it is attacked by Washington during a confrontation over Taiwan.”

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Be a HoT (Guest/Permanent) Blogger

join the freaksI’ve decided to open up the sideblog (HoT Line) to some guest bloggers for the next few weeks. If you think you have the stuff to blog here (good links with even better one-liners) then shoot me an email and I’ll give you an account. If you have your own blog, it could be a great way to build notice for your writings.

And…
If you don’t have your own blog…
I, and everyone else likes you…

You could earn a permanent place on the Hammer of Truth roster, spreading the word of liberty and humor to a growing and participative audience.

You’d like that wouldn’t you? (ok, maybe not you, in the back row throwing spitballs) Of course you would, so sign up in the comments (trolls need not apply) and next week you could be our first guest blogger.

UPDATE: Our first guest blogger is Jake from Missouri Libertarian. Glad to have you aboard Jake!

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Sandbox Statism

trying to define the current political atmosphere [via]

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Ohio Taxes: The Negative Effect

cigarette taxesOver the past 4th of July weekend, the State of Ohio decided to spring a $0.70 tax hike on all smokers. A pack of Camels or Marlboros will now set you back about $4.35. While a few are resigned to pay the increase and grumble a bit, others are cutting their tobacco consumption or outright quitting. The more entrepreneurial types are scheming ways to drive trailers full of cartons from North Carolina or hijack shipments and sell them a la Axel Foley in Beverly Hills Cop.

Now, while it’s too soon to tell if the net effect of the tax increase will be more revenue the state so badly needs to continue its wasteful path of spending and scandalous losses (“hey, let’s put $50 million into rare coins and have $10 million worth of them stolen“), my bet is that the net effect will be more pissed off voters feeming for a cigarette and taking that bitchiness to the poll. Think of New York City, where smoking has become scarce and tax revenue has shrunk to a pittance while out-of-state smuggling has become the norm.

About the only thing the Republicans could do in the next year to seal their political fate would be to hike alcohol taxes and gas taxes, or alternately less insidious: drive to every constituent’s house and do donuts on their front lawn and leave flaming bags of dog shit on their stoop.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a gung-ho smoking advocate in any way, I don’t think we should be able to force our smoking habits into any restaurant and bar in the same way the anti-smoking lobby tries to force us out. In fact I don’t think either side has a damn thing to say about how a business is run or what kind of customers it chooses to cater to. But I do have a problem with trying to bring in taxes with the left hand and shun with the right, that’s just old-fashioned hypocrisy.

Here’s an idea for a ballot initiative: how about we personally tax the politicians double the amount every time they fuck up? Lose $200 million in a shady hedge fund… send an invoice to the politicians who voted for that stupid move. Instant accountability from these dumb bastards.

[Disclaimer: I am an advocate and member of the campaign to elect a libertarian governor in 2006. While I am still under NDA as far as details of the campaign, it doesn't hurt to say that this is shaping up to be a real blockbuster race for libertarians and a potential win.]

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LP Billboard: Starve the Beast

Rob D. posted these two entries on his blog — That’s Ridonkulous:

Starve the Beast

Starve the Beast

Remember, you can still send in your ideas and submissions by posting it in the comments of any of these posts or sending it to me by email until July 29th after which it will go to a public vote. There are no limit to the number of entries, so keep sending them in.

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LP Billboard: Heads or Tails

Here’s a great billboard concept from Liberty Dog:

Heads or Tails

Remember, you can still send in your ideas and submissions by posting it in the comments of any of these posts or sending it to me by email until July 29th.

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Shave Your Kiwis

This is just too damn funny, as seen on Boing Boing

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The Blog Dedicated to Me

Oh how I’ve dreamed of this day, my very own idiot savant desperately trying to shine doubt on this blog… by of course starting his own blog. His words are almost self-referential: If nobody reads his controversial blogs anymore, maybe the poor little bastard will crawl into a corner and weep.

I suppos spelling my name wrong is supposed to be some kind of insult I’ve never heard before (VanDick? Perhaps you haven’t heard that VanDickless was far more popular in grade school). Clever you are, mysterious blog provocateur, perhaps you can make your mamma jokes next and wow us with your riffs.

I almost have a suspicion that this is an elaborate hoax. Perhaps our mysterious guest can tell us exactly what’s wrong with what I write about instead of spewing forth stupidity at every turn. Blog on, great misdirected fool, it amuses me to no end.

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Cleanup in the Produce Section

Every so often I see a rant or rambling so goddamn crazy on my own blog, that I just have to post the damn thing verbatim on the front page with my own reply, raking him over the coals in an assault of intellectual masturbation that defies my own logic of why I do it in the first place.

It all began with this post on Terri Schiavo being a veggie, but it’s really about the nuts claiming Terri Schiavo being aware (she wasn’t) and wanting to save her because she was gonna snap out of it, then realizing that she was a fruitloop, they changed their tune to say this is bad voodoo because Jesus said so and why do you hate America anyways ya fucking liberal elite (unless you’re Jesse Jackson, not extorting companies that day).

So here’s the intelligent reply in the comments, from Seth Wind:

Terri Schaivo Comment [ed- yes, this was actually part of the comment, I would say something funny here, but I don't have the heart to kick retards]

I have to rebut to your comment, Mr. VanDick. First of all let me start by saying that this has nothing to do with politics, or right wing policies. If you watched the news, which you probably didn’t because you are so uninformed, you might recall that Rev. Jesse Jackson (a left-wing liberal) was at the protest and asked them to reinsert her feeding tube. Thumbs up Jesse!!!!

Additionally, the supreme court needs a reality check, and that is an understatement! I find it appalling that they said that: “keeping Terri alive is ‘unconstitutional’”. First of all, they are saying the complete opposite of the reality. The constitution clearly states that everyone is entitled to: 1.LIFE 2.LIBERTY 3.HAPPINESS.

Terri wasn’t entitled to any of the above.

What does this show society?
That’s right, the Supreme Court disregards the constitution of the United States and makes up any little laws they want to without input from the public, which is truly a crying shame.

So when you idiots say that her starvation was painless, I’d like you to try starving yourself sometime. Just try going two weeks without eating anything. If you’re still alive, tell us just how painless starvation is.

But then, after catching his breathe nearly a half hour later, Seth has the following to add while intentionally hitting the returnkey as it wrapped the comment box (compulsive much?):

P.S.
Just a few additional comments:

A) How can prisoners on death row get a last
meal before execution?
But an innocent woman who committed no
crime whatsoever is refused food and water!

B) What does this say about society? Is this
Nazi, Germany? Do we believe that the
handicapped are useless in society. Is this
your “final solution”, Mr.VanDick?

C) Watch who you call a vegetable, Mr.VanDick!
It seems that you have to much time on your
hands to create blogs like this one.

D) Why did the police hinder protestors from
giving Terri food and water?
Were they afraid she might choke to death?!
She was going to die from starvation anyway!
Any bit of food would have helped.

E) I’ve heard of force-feeding, but never
forced-starvation.

F) Next in America: Concentration camps for the
handicapped.

G) If America didn’t protect Terri, they
surely won’t protect anyone!

H) The Supreme Court is runned by a bunch of
goofballs! (and that is putting it nicely)

So, it should be no surprise to anyone to see that I had to take the bait of the common trolling wingnut, wrap it around my ginormous pinkie and lick it like a lollypop while writing the following rebuttal:

How’s about we ratchet down the rhetoric for a sec and consider two things: SCOTUS is full of wingnut ideologues who are voting very disturbingly these days, no debate; And, Terri was a fucking braindead vegetable.

1) How can anyone from a religious Christian argument cast stones at a marriage pact where the partner has watched their loved one wither after such a tragedy. May he burn in brimstone according to those folks, surely.

2) Perhaps you should realize that while I didn’t specify SCOTUS in my commentary, I think it’s egregious to pass laws or rulings for individuals when there are such more pressing issues going on (One death is a tragedy, 1500 is a statistic?). Of course, then again I think there should be a law giving me loads of cash at my front door every day, but yet I still end up having to work, what a damn shame.

3) When you are a fucking vegetable, with the pain and sensory receptors in your brain in a lovely liquid suspension of Jell-O pudding pops, the difference between shitting on yourself and eating a ham sandwich essentially becomes a lesson in semantics. Ever wonder why you see the guy in the wheelchair not give a shit when he gets stabbed in the leg? It’s because he can’t feel a damn thing.

4) You are a moron and have no excuse for living in civilized society, kill yourself now. You are the scum of the earth and the dirge on this great country. Your inane rantings with only soundbites and regurgitated talk radio quotes is the reason I wake up every day and curse the motherfuckers running this country, because they try to cater to idiots like you instead of getting their shit together and being responsible to the people because they fear the shit out of us calling them on it.

Wake up, and stop being a douche.

And the Lord rejoiced, because He saw it was good that the hypocrite was thrashed, and yeah did they celebrate with much buttsex, for they were dirty liberals and they hung out with Jesus back in the day and hooked that dude up with Mary Magdelene. Selah.

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Still Alive!

Woops, I had a busy week last week and didn’t have any time to blog. Some big news on the libertarian political front for me, but I can’t announce quite yet due to a NDA with the candidate. I will be posting more billboard submissions later today, there are quite a few. Keep sending them in and coming up with ideas… I’m really digging all the suggestions so far.

Remember the deadline is July 29th 2005, and then it goes to a popular vote-down (ranked order, like all votes should be).

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Hotel Lost Liberty

A libertarian group has drafted a proposal for land repurposing in Weare, New Hampshire — seeking to start the application process to build a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill Road. This is the present location of Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter’s home. From the press release:

Clements, CEO of Freestar Media, LLC, points out that the City of Weare will certainly gain greater tax revenue and economic benefits with a hotel on 34 Cilley Hill Road than allowing Mr. Souter to own the land.

The proposed development, called “The Lost Liberty Hotel” will feature the “Just Desserts Café” and include a museum, open to the public, featuring a permanent exhibit on the loss of freedom in America. Instead of a Gideon’s Bible each guest will receive a free copy of Ayn Rand’s novel “Atlas Shrugged.”

Clements indicated that the hotel must be built on this particular piece of land because it is a unique site being the home of someone largely responsible for destroying property rights for all Americans.

“This is not a prank” said Clements, “The Towne of Weare has five people on the Board of Selectmen. If three of them vote to use the power of eminent domain to take this land from Mr. Souter we can begin our hotel development.”

Thus the first shot of the revolution has been fired. Over 200 years ago, our forefathers tarred and feathered officials and burned down the homes of those who represented the tyranny of the British Crown and their theft of land from colonists. Now our fighting technique has evolved into using the government’s own tyrannnical laws against them in such an extremely ironic manner that people will quickly realize how overbearing our government has finally become.

Perhaps Justice Souter should be given a lifetime supply of humble pie at the “Just Desserts Café” in exchange for his home. (thanks Joe and Gary)

» Press Release Freestar Media
» Could a hotel be built on the land owned by Supreme Court Justice David H. Souter?

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LP Billboard: “All for the Public Good?”

Chris Monnier submitted a Homeland Tyranny Advisory System and also this gem mocking the anti-smoking vendetta:

all for the public good
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