Wal-Mart: Always Dead Shoplifters… Always

Creepy Wal-Mart Rollback SmileyVia cryptogon comes this story of overzealous enforcement by the Wal-Mart Rent-a-Cops:

“They chased him right past me,” said Portz, who followed the chase, then saw four or five employees hold Driver on the ground. Driver was pleading with them to let him up, Portz said. “The blacktop was just blistering,” he said.

The high temperature at Bush Intercontinental Airport Sunday was 96 degrees.

Portz said one of the Wal-Mart employees had Driver in a choke hold as other employees pinned his body to the ground.

“He was begging, ‘Please, I’m burning, let me up,’ ” Portz said of Driver. “He’d push himself up off the blacktop, like he was doing a push-up.

[...]After Driver was handcuffed, Portz said one employee had his knee on the man’s neck and others were putting pressure on his back.

“Finally the guy stopped moving” and the employees got off him, Portz said. “They wouldn’t call an ambulance.”

I think Wal-Mart should play up this kind of publicity, actually. You know, shoot a commercial showing that little smiley face knocking down some prices on toilet paper and sodas and the next thing you know the head swivels around and there’s an angry face on the other side. He takes off across the store in hot pursuit of a shoplifter. Cut to the store entrance where he’s pounding his round yellow face into the back of a shopper clutching a bag of Doritos, running in terror out the door past the elderly door greeter. Pan the camera over to greeter who is smiling and waving innocently as blood suddenly spatters across her face. Quickly fade to black.

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World’s Skewedest Political Quiz

Liberteaser made me chuckle with this abridged version of the World’s Smallest Political Quiz:

I’ve decided that the World’s Smallest Political Quiz isn’t small enough so I’ve composed a new one of my own. Much like the original, the questions are skewed so that a disproportionate number of the respondees will turn out to be libertarians.

Question 1: Are you a ______?

  • Libertarian
  • Idiotic Liberal
  • Retarded Conservative

A handy commenter notes that he left out Jack-Booted Authoritarian Thug. Because when you can’t decide whether to exploit the minority at the whim of the majority, or vice versa. You know… like uh, just exploit everyone equally.

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More Proof The Drug War is Lost

Big PharmaI read about the recent arrest and extradition of a Canadian citizen to the U.S. recently, and also ran across another related story about new provisions being added to the PATRIOT Act renewal to send marijuana users caught with too many grams to jail for up to 20 years because of narcoterrorism.

Which really got me thinking about the whole war on drugs in general and why it continues to slog on despite the growing outrage by the public. And I came to the only logical solution: the people backing the drug war are the biggest pushers on the planet, only they don’t want to give up their corner in the market.

Those people are the big pharmaceuticals.

The other day, I heard of a vision of a new Boston Tea Party, except instead of colonialists dressed as indians throwing crates of tea off a ship, it was Gen X-ers smashing into cargo containers bearing the Merck and Pfizer logos, shoving them off trains and setting them ablaze. Alas, such talk these days puts a circular bull on the square of my ass.

Because, if anyone really wanted to end the drug war, they would simply stop buying the state-approved recreational drugs, plain and simple. Pain relievers like OxyContin or Vicodin; central nervous system depressants such as Valium or Xanax; stimulants including Ritalin or Adderall and anabolic-androgenic steroids like Anadrol or Equipoise; Sexual enhancers such as Viagra and Cialis.

These are drugs that are abused on par with their illegal compatriots: marijuana, cocaine, heroin, LSD, etc, etc. et-fucking-cetera…

One difference… the people misusing prescription drugs for recreation tend to be white-collar suburbanites who merely get a slap on the wrist when caught. I can think of one in particular, whose name starts with an L and ends with an imbaugh. Don’t tell me if he had been caught buying and snorting coke he wouldn’t be in the slam right now as the poster-boy of the drug war.

Take morphine for example, a cousin of heroin is perfectly legal when prescribed and filled by a large pharmaceutical, but that same patient could score it on the street for a tenth of the price, in higher potency and go to jail for 20 years. Think about who is behind the drug war: Big Pharma. Hypocrisy at its finest.

What we lack is blind justice in an immoral war on self-determination, and in return we get a war on poor, fucked up people just trying to find happiness in a snort or joint and detox hideaways for those that can afford to get off with a slap on the wrist. The reality is, we have a hypocritical war on drugs fueled by an industry that has wrapped its tentacles around our legislative process.

The train is pulling out of the station… see you there.

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No Longer Suspended

Apparently something just went wonky here for a couple days and my account got auto-suspended. Phone calls were going straight to voice mail, and I honestly began to wonder if I was about to get a take-down notice for something I had written. I even began to wonder if Seth was on a military transport to Gitmo for hosting this site and its sometimes flagrantly seditious content.

I even bagan waiting for my own knock at the door.

Well, chalk that up to an overactive imagination, because it turned out to be a glitch, not a snitch.

Everything is back to normal now and I am no longer freaking out because I can’t get my email or post on this site, or whatever.

Yes, back to normal… but, should the above scenario actually play itself out one day (and not be a false alarm), rest assured there is now a chain of events that will unfold to spread the word. I implore all bloggers to assess their own plans should they be arrested or shut down because of something they posted.

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New Blog: godstool

Sometimes I like to start little projects to provoke certain people. Who wants to see God get arrested for threatening to kill off judges and random politicians by comically answering people’s prayers?

Say hello to godstool: god poops on you, read all about it.

Anyone wondering how a little satirical intimidation from God would fly in this case?

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This Land is Your Land, But Now it’s My Land

Note: this article contains dead links, the url is still in the hover/alt text. Keep the web working, curate content well!

 i-want-some-hot-Eminent-Domain-on-Domain-action-HELLS-Yes.COMWith everyday people starting to finally reel from the Supreme Court’s Kelo decision, some enterprising Libertarians in New Hampshire have another novel idea (aside from Hotel Lost Liberty): Use Justice Stephen G. Breyer’s 167-acre Plainfield property to create a “Constitution Park,” with stone monuments to commemorate the U.S and New Hampshire constitutions.

“The point is: What goes around comes around,” Lorrey said. “This is a way of saying, ‘You’re going to be held to your own standard.’”

Lorrey said the Libertarian petition would place the land-taking request before a town meeting next spring. But Plainfield Town Administrator Steve Halleran said Friday that he didn’t expect voters to support the effort.

The Libertarian Party objects to the high court’s June ruling that let a Connecticut city take land by eminent domain and turn it over to a private developer.

A lot of people are going to heap criticism on libertarians for endorsing this kind of retributive land-grabbing, and to them I say: the only way to fix this mess is to proverbially (or literally) tar and feather the enablers.

What better way to get your point across that the ruling is unconstitutional and an affront to our property rights than to shove the fruits of that verdict down the throats of the Justices who voted in favor of it?

I commend the libertarians making waves with this (and for getting critical coverage in the AP), and hope to see more bureaucrats kicked out of their homes as acts of retribution if they support this type of land-theft.

Libertarians Urge Seizure of Justice Breyer’s Property to Protest High Court Ruling [AP] (via Catallarchy)

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LP Financially Insolvent?

Stephen Gordon has dug up the numbers on the National Libertarian Party budget to date and found a worrisome trend:

For the first half year, the total expenses were $804,000, under the budgeted $926,000, but the cash outflow for the first half-year was still more than $50,000, and at this point the cupboard is bare.

Gordon isn’t making any predictions on solvency, and appears to have all his facts in order to post such an exhaustive analysis of the FY2005 to date for the LNC. However, the recent membership drive doesn’t seem to be factored in, nor does the recent activity on the web strategy, which may very well tip them back into the black.

Now, I’m not one to sound the alarms over budgeting or income shortfalls before they’ve been fully exposed and dissected, however it does seem mysterious that Executive Director Joe Seehusen has bailed out just as his contract had been renewed.

Could this be a hint that the recent fundraising strategy didn’t quite meet expectations? Who knows. But from the looks of things, this is going to be interesting to watch unfold.

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Homeland Boyz in Da ‘Hood

Osama bin Doggy DoggVia Cryptogon comes word that Homeland Security is doing a wonderful job of protecting us from gangstas (Mara Salvatrucha, or MS-13; Sure Inos; the 18th Street Gang; Latin Kings; the Mexican Mafia; Border Brothers; Brown Pride and numerous others) who planned to crash their pimped out rides into prized national landmarks such as Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles:

Federal authorities arrested 582 alleged gang members over a two-week period, officials said Monday, targeting an estimated 80 violent groups they say have spawned street crimes across the country.

Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff called the gangs “a threat to our homeland security and … a very urgent law enforcement priority.”

Which all goes to prove that while Al Qaida may try to act all hard and shit by crashing their ghetto asses into some towers, they ain’t got nothin’ on the real homies unless they be hookin’ themselves up with some tats and gang signs and dope sound systems in their whips.

Word up, my Homelandies.

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Ohio Blogger Arrested; Told to Stop Blogging

Newer: Elsebeth Baumgartner Arrested

How many tyrannnical sparks does it take to ignite a revolution? Do we cower as the government suspends our rights, forcefully stripping us of our heritage one by one and turning us into children to be protected by the all-powerful state? How long does it take until people will stand up against a system turning sour?

James in Atlanta tipped me off to the story of ErieVoices.com blogger Bryan DuBois being arrested last week and I wish I had blogged it then, but I’ll do it now because this is truly the scariest shit I’ve ever blogged about (and that’s saying a lot considering how much I like to dance on the fine line of free speech). You see, I’m in close enough proximity of this case to possibly jeopardize my own liberty by even blogging about it, and I very well may end up joining this blogger for what I support.

So be it, these fuckers don’t scare me.

I’m still trying to fully digest all the twists and turns of this amazingly huge scandal taking place right here in my corner of the U.S., but suffice to say, this is a spark, and with enough sparks thrown at a combustive vapor of government tyranny, we’ll have revolution. Everyone I’ve spoken to has that same gut feeling: maybe not today, maybe not next week or next year, but eventually… we’re going to have to fix our government the hard way.

Here’s the backstory from an Empire Journal writeup to better inform yourself (you could also see the indictment, if the thing wasn’t so top secret):

Former Ohio attorney Elsebeth Baumgartner, 50, and the editor of a news blog, Bryan DuBois, 28, of Sandusky, Ohio, have been charged with intimidation and retaliation because a judge filed a complaint against them, claiming that he was intimidated by them and their charges of judicial corruption.

[...]Baumgartner faces 10 counts of intimidation and three counts of retaliation, third-degree felonies, and one count of possession of criminal tools, a fifth-degree felony. She is being held in the Cuyahoga County Detention Facility on a $360,000 bond. DuBois faces one count of extortion, two counts of intimidation, one count of retaliation, all third-degree felonies, and one count of possession of criminal tools, a fifth-degree felony. The tool? A computer.

DuBois, a former Marine who has no previous convictions, is being held on bonds totaling $190,000 His charges purportedly relate to a note he allegedly handed former School Superintendent Charles Burns after Burns testified against Baumgartner during a libel trial last year in which Burns had sued Baumgartner. DuBois maintains he can prove that Burns allegedly committed perjury.

It is alleged that the pair used emails to intimidate and threaten visiting judge Richard Markus, a judge who had presided in cases involving Baumgartner. In fact, it is alleged that one “threatening email” to Markus was sent in November, 2004, prior to him presiding over that same libel trial. Kasaris said that some of the charges against DuBois stemmed from an email that he allegedly sent to Markus before the libel trial began against Baumgartner. Kasaris labeled the email threatening and said that while it didn’t threaten bodily harm, it threatened the judge’s reputation and on the basis of that, he lodged a charge of extortion against DuBois.

[...]At the hearing for DuBois earlier this week, Kasaris reportedly said that he would be willing to drop the charges against the editor to misdemeanor level if DuBois would agree to three things:

1) Stop writing on www.Erievoices.com, because it “has obviously been taken over by Elsebeth Baumgartner”

2) Not associate with Elsebeth Baumgartner for the duration of his probation, which could be up to five years.

3) Make a statement regarding Elsebeth Baumgartner’s influence in his writing of the email to Judge Markus on 11/29/2004.

Kasaris needs to go to the public library and read the Bill of Rights—freedom of speech, freedom of press, freedom of expression, freedom of association.

Essentially, what should have at most been a libel case in a civil court, has been transmogrified into a scene right out of the Sedition Act and landed critics of the government in jail for using their inalienable right to call attention to government corruption, scandal and abuse. And to top things off, they want to strong-arm him into abridging his own rights, or face serious felony charges.

This isn’t my America, this isn’t even their America: this is bullshit.

These judges and prosecutors in this case are the vilest abomination our country has ever seen since we used to tar and feather the corrupt fuckers operating under the authority of King George. If we have no recourse to peacefully petition our government officials for accountability, then we eventually have no choice but to take to the street.

This may not be the ignition of the revolution, but anyone with eyes can see it’s a spark.


Other bloggers that should be arrested for criticizing the government:

If we turn on the light… [Knappster]
U.S. Blogger Arrested [OpenTorrent.org]
A Few Things You Should Know [GuvWorld]
Sunday, July 31, 2005 [Liberty Activist Blog]
Does The 1st Amendment Not Apply In Ohio? [Common Sense Junction]
If the Press is the 4th estate, does that make bloggers and online publishers the 5th Estate? [Freedom's Gate]
Ohio Blogger Indicted & Jailed over Postings [Judgement Proof]

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LP Billboard: Back Problems?

Rob D over at That’s Ridonkulous has given us a second submission:

Rob says: I’m just throwing this out there for all to get a peak [sic] at what I was trying to accomplish. It needs work I know.

I think it’s a great submission, and with some minor editing is a major contender. Which reminds me… today is July 29th.

Yes, that’s right, today is the last day of the contest, but in order to get the late stragglers who still want to throw their creative hat in the ring, I’m allowing submissions through the weekend and starting voting on Tuesday. Send them in by posting in the comments or emailing us.

Previous entries: Domestic Terrorists, Not For Sale, Starve the Beast, Heads or Tails, All for the Public Good?, Original Patriot Act, Fire the Government, again, Definition of insanity.

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Big Brother’s Kickass Ford F250

DHS surveillance truckThe normally tight-lipped Department of Homeland Security recently had these photos of a tricked out surveillance truck leak onto the Internet (via Boing Boing). I give it a week before the slapdown comes in the form of a national security knock at the ISP’s door.

I’m all for using these kinds of techniques to catch the “bad guy” so to speak, but when it comes to enforcing the PATRIOT Act, they’ve created a loose interpretation of who fits the mould and are using it to go after drug dealers when they need to be focusing on what they were created to combat: the terrorist organization operating in the U.S. named Al Qaida.

But in all honesty, the truck is actually pretty damn cool looking, from a technological standpoint. And when did they stop using the standard white van with the non-existent plumbing company applique on the side? This actually looks like something straight out of Pimp My Ride, minus the 20-inch dub spinners and neon lights. Though I would bet there’s an X-Box tucked away somewhere in there for when the snoops get bored late night on a stake-out.

Of course if you see this truck in your neighborhood (Florida plates A38 BEG), then you might want to hold off on smoking that doob for a while… mkay?

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Tunes for the [Upcoming] Weekend

Tunes for the Upcoming Weekend

Yes, I realize Friday is still three whole days away. But I wanted to let everyone know they MUST download the two latest awesome SIXX MIXX’s from Party Ben (these actually play every Friday on Live105 in SFO and can usually be downloaded the following Monday).

I realize I haven’t done a Tunes for the Weekend (T4dW) post in… ages. It’s hard being the judge of music that other people will like; DJing, even virtually, isn’t easy. Regardless, here’s two that should definitely make up for that drought (I’ve kept downloading myself, just not sharing… suckers):

SIXX MIXX 95 – 07/22/05
REBELLIOUS EDITION (LIES)
128kbps 28MB mp3

1. Eagles vs. Daft Punk — Victim of Da Funk (DJ John mashup)
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers — Suck My Kiss
3. Tears for Fears — Shout (a capella)
4. The Lovemakers vs. 50 Cent — Shake That Ass (Lovemakers mashup)
5. Stevie Wonder — Superstition
6. Stevie Wonder vs. Franz Ferdinand vs SOS Band — Franzie Wonder (DJ Nite mashup)
7. Black Eyed Peas vs. Beatles vs. Ludacris vs. TheClipse — Black Beatles (Loo & Placido mashup)
8. Gorillaz — Dirty Harry
9. MIA / Diplo vs. The Bangles — Fire Fire (off Piracy Funds Terrorism)
10. Beck — Black Tamborine (South Rakkas Crew remix)
11. Front 242 vs. Gwen Stefani — Hollaback Headhunter (A+D mashup)
12. Yes vs. Sir Mix-A-Lot — Owner of a Lovely Butt (Lionel Vinyl mashup)
13. Arcade Fire vs. Max Graham vs. Yes — Lonely Rebellion (Party Ben mashup)
14. Mint Royale vs. U2 — Waiting for New Year’s Day (Phil & Dog mashup)
15. U2 vs. Whitney Houston — Dance with Bono (Go Home Productions mashup)
17. Corey Hart vs. Killers — Somebody’s Sunglasses (Team9 mashup)
18. Nine Inch Queens — Insane, Medicated Hand (Party Ben mashup)

SIXX MIXX 94 – 07/15/05
EVERYBODY KNOWS I’M INSANE EDITION
128kbps 28MB mp3 (10/10/05 MIRROR)

1. QOTSA vs. NIN – Insane, Medicated Hand (Party Ben mashup)
2. OutKast – Bombs over Baghdad
3. Cyndi Lauper – She-Bop
4. Beck – Girl
5. The Go-Gos – We Got the Beat
6. Soulwax – Any Minute Now (Whitey remix)
7. The White Stripes vs. Tony Basil vs. Gwen Stefani – Mickey’s Orchid (Fidelski mashup)
8. The Kinks – You Really Got Me (DJ Zebra remix)
9. M.I.A. – Bucky Done Gun (a capella)
10. Gorillaz – Feel Good Inc (a capella)
11. Gorilla Cake – Never Feel Good (Party Ben mashup)
12. Stevie Wonder vs. Rolling Stones vs. Killers – Uptight Killer (Go Home Productions mashup)
13. The Rolling Stones – Jumpin’ Jack Flash
14. New Order – Bizarre Love Triangle (Crystal Method remix)
15. The Lovemakers – Prepare for the Fight (Josh Harris remix)
16. The Eagles vs. Green Day vs Depeche Mode vs. The Beatles – Greenday Massacre (Team9 mashup)

If you aren’t aware of my auditory fetish for bootleg mashups (one or more acapellas mixed with one or more instrumentals, usually pop, but tend to be eclectic), you can check out major sites dedicated to it, like the GYBO forums, Boomselection and Culture Deluxe. I always get people dancing and shaking at parties, and this is my secret weapon.

Now, on a more philosophical and political note, I have a question: Are bootleg mashups a distinctly libertine musical ideal: the remixing of mutiple or single songs to create new compositions that please the listener… or are they truly a threat to the music industry: an underground, unlicensed theft of intellectual property?

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War on Terror as a series of Unix shell interactions

Great post via Boing Boing:


$ cd /middle_east
$ ls
Afghanistan Iraq Libya Saudi_Arabia UAE
Algeria Israel Morrocco Sudan Yemen
Bahrain Jordan Oman Syria
Egypt Kuwait Palestine Tunisia
Iran Lebanon Qatar Turkey

$ cd Afghanistan
$ ls
bin Taliban
$ rm Taliban
rm: Taliban is a directory
$ cd Taliban
$ ls
soldiers
$ rm soldiers
$ cd ..
$ rmdir Taliban
rmdir: directory "Taliban": Directory not empty
$ cd Taliban
$ ls -a
. .. .insurgents
$ chown -R USA .*
chown: .insurgents: Not owner
$ cd ..
$ su
Password: *******
# mv Taliban /tmp
# exit

Full Link (via Making Light)

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LP Billboard: Domestic Terrorists

The Brain Spur sends in this thought-provoking billboard submission:

Domestic Terrorists

[click to view full size]

You just know there’d be a few jaws dropping in the editorial newsrooms if we ran that. Which is probably why I like it so much. Of course, there’s no mention of LP.org or the Libertarian Party, so that would have to be fixed.

Deadline for the contest is this Friday, July 29th… keep submitting.

Previous entries: Not For Sale, Starve the Beast, Heads or Tails, All for the Public Good?, Original Patriot Act, Fire the Government, again, Definition of insanity.

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LP Billboard: Not For Sale

Somehow I missed this entry by Tim West over at Liberty for Sale.

Constitution: not for sale

I also want to remind everyone that this Friday, July 29th is the deadline for submissions to the unofficial LP Billboard contest (send them via email or posting links in any of these posts). The billboard contest is unsanctioned by the LP but runs in tandem with their t-shirt design contest. So if you haven’t already sent something in to either, do it now. And if you’ve already sent something and have another idea… send that too.

And to get an idea of what you’re up against, here’s a quick list of previous entries: Starve the Beast, Heads or Tails, All for the Public Good?, Original Patriot Act, Fire the Government, again, Definition of insanity.

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Exploiting the Dem/Rep Rift

I’ve been critical of the national LP and the LNC in the past, but it seems whatever Shane Cory is doing is working pretty well (kudos, I am far more impressed with his efforts than I was with George “bloggers aren’t media” Getz). Though I have my doubts as to him beating his own self-imposed deadline for 5000 new members, it seems the number of actual interested people is beginning to grow in leaps in bounds (via Liberty for Sale).

LP.org traffic growth on Alexa
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Obsessed With Animated Porn

First grand theft auto now the sims causes weird obsession with animated porn.

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Clean Your Yard

You see what happens when you don’t clean your yard, our government throws 88 year old men in jail.

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It Is That Time

“House and Senate negotiators have reached an agreement that could have us springing forward earlier and falling back later.”

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Police Attack London

“British police now believe a man shot and killed on a London subway car Friday had nothing to do with the investigation into Thursday’s attempted bombings.”

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Patriot Act Extended

“The House voted Thursday to extend the USA Patriot Act, the nation’s main anti-terrorism tool, just hours after televisions in the Capitol beamed images of a new attack in London.”

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Grand Theft Porno

Murder, theft, gangs its all ok but pornography. We can’t let that happen in a video game for children now can we.

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Michael The Sky Is Falling Bloomberg

“NEW YORK – Police will begin random searches of bags and packages carried by people entering city subways, officials announced Thursday after a new series of bomb attacks in London”

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