If you’re reading this, it’s because you’re hoping we’re not being douches. Well rest assured we are not trying to do stupid shit like install malware or sell your email address to penis enlargement advertising (PEñA). Our goal is to enable your lively participation while making you accountable enough to not be a dick-face who just posts FIRST COMMENT in every new story. For this reason we need to track shit like your IP address and maybe make people register accounts to keep out Interweb garbage from spamming up the site. We can do better if we all work together.
We “get it” on how much your privacy matters. Finger-quotes. GET IT? Oh never mind. The only anonymous data we collect is for statistical purposes to see how far our content is reaching. Any IP address or other identifying data is aggregated and disposed of after 30 days because we simply don’t need it (and it takes up valuable database space when dealing with lots of comments and page-views. Comment data is tied to your email address and/or user name, but we try not to expose anything personal there either unless you display it yourself. Any links that we post that have NSFW (not safe for work, derp) will be labeled as such so that your boss doesn’t catch you jerkin’ when you should be workin’. Okay that was a bit much, but whatever.
I know that our advertisers will be using all sorts of tracking cookies to know what to sell you, but honestly we have to fund this site’s hosting bills and programmer’s coke habit somehow, so it’s a necessary evil. Please don’t ad-block us if you use the site a lot, we promise not to ever have obnoxious ads that suck, only ads for stuff you are actually interested in (okay maybe not), and will be tastefully presented and never annoying. We promise!
What information do we collect?
We collect information from you when you register on our site.
When ordering or registering on our site, as appropriate, you may be asked to enter your: name or e-mail address. You may, however, visit our site anonymously using any number of online proxy services.
What do we use your information for?
Any of the information we collect from you may be used in one of the following ways:
; To personalize your experience
(your information helps us to better respond to your individual needs)
; To improve our website
(we continually strive to improve our website offerings based on the information and feedback we receive from you)
; To administer a contest, promotion, survey or other site feature
How do we protect your information?
We implement a variety of security measures to maintain the safety of your personal information when you enter, submit, or access your personal information.
Yes (Cookies are small files that a site or its service provider transfers to your computers hard drive through your Web browser (if you allow) that enables the sites or service providers systems to recognize your browser and capture and remember certain information.
Do we disclose any information to outside parties?
We do not sell, trade, or otherwise transfer to outside parties your personally identifiable information. This does not include trusted third parties who assist us in operating our website, conducting our business, or servicing you, so long as those parties agree to keep this information confidential. We may also release your information when we believe release is appropriate to comply with the law, enforce our site policies, or protect ours or others rights, property, or safety. However, non-personally identifiable visitor information may be provided to other parties for marketing, advertising, or other uses.