Tax season may still be fresh in everyone’s mind, but a January podcast of ABC’s of SNL (free download) caught a lively exchange between Jon Lovitz and Kevin Smith over how hard work is being crapped on and that fifty percent taxes are only for suckers thanks to copious deductions. He also says “fuck you” a lot in the same breath as “Obama” which probably means the Lovitz endorsement isn’t happening anytime soon.
The discussion segues from Lovitz explaining Wayne Gretzsky and professional sports players having an affinity for winning through hard work, with goals and home-runs extraordinarily above their peers. Continuously he pounces on the theme of “working his ass off” to get where they are. Smith ribs him, asking “are you comparing yourself to Gretzsky?”
POLITICAL STANDUP AND DELIVERY
Lovitz then exploded in a completely new tack, shouting “This whole thing with Obama, saying the rich don’t pay their taxes is fucking bullshit. And I voted for the guy; and I’m a democrat! What a fucking asshole!”
The audience laughs as he rants, “The rich don’t pay their taxes? Let me tell you something, right? First they say to you, dead broke, ‘The United States of America, you can do anything that you want. Go for it.’ So then you go for it, and then you make it, and everyone’s like, ‘FUCK YOU!‘”
The crowd laughed raucously and clapped at the absurd truth, into which the veteran comic threw a rhetorical flourish, “What the fuck was that? You just said go for it.”
He went on to describe Obama’s irony, “He himself is the perfect example. He’s amazing, he had nothing: He had no father, he was… you know, mixed race, which is a burden.. and don’t.. in the United.. don’t kid yourself… you know, growing up like that. And no money, and the guy ends up being in Harvard. He’s now the President of the United States!”
Kevin Smith tries to handle the punchline, “And you’re like ‘FUCK YOU!’” To which Lovitz corrects, “And now he’s like ‘FUCK ME! And everyone who made it like me.’”
He returned to his earlier Gretzsky and hard work mantra by adding, “You know, it’s like everyone has to work their ass off. You know!” Yes, Hammer of Truth knows.
FIFTY PERCENT TAX RATE
The 54-year-old then went into a typically conservative argument by complain about fifty percent taxes, which we’re guessing he’s not far off living in California’s 7.25% sales, 9.3% state income, and 35% federal. We ran the numbers and it’s actually 51.55%.
He said, “If I make a dollar, and out of every dollar I’m taxed at fifty… half… at fifty cents I have to give, isn’t that like, enough?” Smith responds, “Yes.”
“So for every dollar you make dollar you make… two dollars… you have to give a dollar back.” Lovitz lowers his voice to takes on the role of a government representative, “No, that’s not right. That’s, no… you’re not paying enough.”
“It’s half…. HALF! And then, they go ‘oh, the rich people have all these deductions.’ Well everyone in this room have these same deductions, you just didn’t know it… learn about it.”
Lovitz then gives us a free lesson in tax code loopholes the 1% are happily exploiting, “But you have exact same deductions.” He tells us to deduct our car mileage to and from work, and eating lunch while Smith hushingly tells him, “Hey hey hey, stop yelling at the 99%.”
Lovitz responds, “It’s my club.”
Best of luck squeezing all your deductions on the club’s tax forms Mr. Lovitz.
UPDATE: Lovitz has taken to twitter to continue debating taxes and is catching a fair amount of flak from both sides of the aisle in the process.
World Net Daily writes:
One apparent liberal named Peg said to Lovitz, “This is red meat for conservatives who are trying to prove the whole country hates him, you gave them ammo, they’re using it.”
“Excuse me,” responded Lovitz, “the President is lying … I just pointed it out. It’s not my fault he’s lying.”
He added: “I haven’t gotten any backlash. I am a Democrat and liberal … Liberal, from the word “Liberty” Freedom to be who you are … be it conservative, democrat, republican, libertarian … liberal … freedom to be true to yourself … that’s what liberal means.”
Another critic told Lovitz, “You criticized the wrong president. If you’d blasted Bush, you’d be funny, smart, and possibly a hero.”
“I have blasted Bush … in my stand up act,” said Lovitz. “No one commented on it, though.”
It’s newsworthy because Lovitz remarks represent a typically unseen bourgeois liberal distaste for Obama, which the conservative blogosphere immediately latched on to in order to milk it for all its worth.