Hubris Patrol: Glenn Luther Beck, Jr.


Citizens rejoice! I’m inaugurating the first in a semi-regular segment showcasing only the very finest in political arrogance. No second-rate gasbaggery will do for our loyal HoTties, only the best.

And to kick things off, we have a lovely vintage of superdouche for the sampling today. Today, God Himself is smiling on us and giving us Glenn Beck pretending to be Martin Luther King, Jr. You can’t make this shit up, folks.

Yes, that’s right. Glenn Beck is trying to inherit the civil rights movement. Glenn Beck, who wouldn’t know a fascist if it gave him a television show and a paycheck every month, is trying to inherit the legacy of Martin Luther motherfucking King, Jr. Read the following quote after the jump, and keep in mind while reading it that he actually said this. These words were spoken. By him. On national radio. In earnest. Really.

“We are the inheritors and the protectors of the civil rights movement. They are perverting it. We are on the right side of history. We are on the side of individual freedoms and liberties. And damn it, we will reclaim the civil rights moment. We will take that movement, because we were the people that did it in the first place. Whites don’t own Abraham Lincoln. Blacks don’t own Martin Luther King.”

Are you still struggling to accept that that actually happened? Great, me too. But wait! There’s more. Someone who was alive for the real actual March On Washington knows how to use the internets machine to make articles happen, and posted up a real humdinger of one:

Beck, Sarah Palin and others who are summoning people today to join them to restore the honor of America, whether intended or not, are following in the footsteps of Dr. King. He spoke prophetically about their generation. Yes, he had a “Dream” that young Becks and Palins, when they became adults, would join hands not only with members of their “Tea Party,” but, all Americans of goodwill, regardless of their race, color or ethnicity, to restore the honor and values enshrined in our Declaration of Independence and Constitution.

Civil Rights leaders who justifiably stake a “proprietary” claim to the legacy of the March on Washington and Dr. King’s “Dream” 47 years ago should reach out and extend the hand of fellowship to Beck and his followers. Subject to the eventual content of the program planned on that anniversary date, we should, in the tradition and legacy of Dr. King, welcome and extend a hand to all persons who are committed to social justice, equality and restoring the honor of America.

You read that right. A close adviser to Dr. King, who was there at the real March On Washington and helped write the “I Have A Dream” speech, is choosing to dignify this steaming pile with his participation. Somewhere in America right now, someone’s using stimulus funds to see if MLK Jr.’s body spinning in its grave can be used as an alternative energy source. And right here behind my computer screen, I’m wondering if liberals are ever going to get their fucking spine back and tell Beck he can’t steal their heroes.

However, there’s many miles to go before we sleep, and we can’t get caught up in another game of Democrats Do The Darndest Things. So let’s move on to the best part, the video. (Yes, of course there’s a video.) There’s just… I can’t… words. No. Just watch.

Yes friends, we live in a world where that video exists. Somehow. I’m going to see how much gin it takes before I forget that ever happened now. If I survive that, someone let me know how many times Glenn Beck gets hit by lightning today. God bless America.

UPDATE BY STEPHENV: BECKAPALOOZA ALERT! Reddit has formed an ad hoc flashmob, if you are in DC, follow these instructions on meeting place/time and plan of action.

LATER UPDATE BY STEPHENV:
Finished watching the 8/28 Restore Honor speech, I feel like I just witness Glenn Beck ram an airplane into the Constitution. I watched Beck’s heavy fascist breathing towards the masses on Justin.tv (fuck cable TV, it only helps pay idiots like Beck) REPLAY. I have to say that watching Beck woo the crowd with his rudimentary knowledge of mass movements makes me wonder if perhaps he’s truly developed a messianic complex. This guy actually insists that the way back or forward to better times is through God, OKAY but oh no, not your Godnot your church’s God, but HIS PERSONAL VISION OF GOD. He’s asked people to leave their church! And oh my god, he actually said that in 25 years we’ll have a George Washington. Exciting predictions, my man is also a prophet…

So many people are for sure gonna be like now liek: What the fuck will this crazy man say next? Maybe I will listen with my shotgun in one hand and the bible on the other on mah shotgun. But more importantly… how many crazy motherfuckers has he got under his mind spell? And why the fuck does this man cry so much?!

posted by Stuart Richards
  • stephenv

    Sometimes Gwenn Beck actually says stuff that isn’t completely false. No group owns a right unto itself except to exist.

    Then again, sometimes he cries on demand and makes clown faces like a fucking 12 year old. I bet his all important baby face would shit himself the moment bullets started flying in the revolution he acts like he wants to lead. Such a douchebag.

  • stephenv

    I think the best part of the video is when the announcer says “one crazy idea” you can *hear* that he’s warning you a little.

  • paulie

    specialops.org?

    lulz

    • stephenv

      I was wondering about that too… Whoever is behind this is clearly trying to organize supporters into moderates and hard-liners. It’s amazing that these are the same exact tactics of totalitarian movements.

    • stephenv

      I signed up for special ops just to see what kind of crazy shit goes on there. Is Beck trying to recruit military people into his little crazy cult of personality? We shall see!

  • David

    I appreciate the information. There are a lot of misguided people in this movement. I keep hoping that they will attempt to do something so outrageous that they will accidrntly expose themselves for the stupid and hate filled ideology they preach.