No, really.
Our own government just ran an exercise where it tried to counter some dangerous national threat from the likes of “anti-globalization activists, underground hackers and bloggers.” Called “Cyber Storm,” the exercises were also attended by the likes of Microsoft, Cisco, Verisign and other various Fed-bedding techno-glitterati.
That’s right guys, we’re a threat to the national government. That pesky free press guaranteed by the First Amendment is just not cool anymore! I, as a blogger and a national menace, want to fuck this country up, because the government simply isn’t doing it fast enough. Maybe, if I try hard enough at the whole “revolution” thing, I might get my face emblazoned on some yuppie’s shirt in the process.
You know us bloggers are a pretty nasty lot, but man… we’re nothing compared to those anti-globalization activists! All those protectionist corn farmers in Nebraska with their confused politics are clearly a threat to national security. Just look at who they vote for, after all. Granted, maybe they’re referring to the 1999 WTO protests in Seattle where police broke up a largely nonviolent protest. The horror of those anti-globalization folks!
In closing, I’d just like to offer a cookie to the spook(s) that are probably reading this on my tax dime. Thank you, thank you for protecting innocent Americans from my “political rantings and musings about current events.”
sucker, ʟʟᴄ
Pingback: Tom Rants
Pingback: The New Market Machines