Great Election Season Joke

My Dallas County friend, Richard, shared this joke. I know that it is not news, but thought a laugh would nice tonight.

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies.

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

“Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”

“No problem, just let me in,” says the man. “Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”

“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the senator.

“I’m sorry, but we have our rules.”

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.

Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.

They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.

Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises…

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

“Now it’s time to visit heaven.”

So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

“Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.”

The senator reflects for a minute, and then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before; I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.”

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.

Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.

The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder “I don’t understand,” stammers the senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?”

The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning.

……Today you voted.”

posted by michelleshinghal
  • http://www.myspace.com/liberty_activist White Marriott

    That was fun! Texas Senatoral candidates’ debate is supposed to air on PBS at 9PM with the Libertarian included.

  • Michelle Shinghal

    I hope Scott does a good job.

  • Peter Borah

    Listen to the debate live right now on the local PBS radio at http://www.kera.org

  • http://www.myspace.com/liberty_activist White Marriott

    Immediately after I posted that comment I went to his website because I felt bad that I didn’t even know his name.

    I hope he is able to look like the tyrants I believe them to be.

    Scott Lanier Jameson (L) for Texas Senate

    http://www.scottjameson.org/

  • Peter Borah

    O.o

    What is with Mr. Jameson? He just supported a minimum wage.

  • Peter Borah

    Here are some of his positions. (http://www.scottjameson.org/positions.htm)

    3. Eliminate identity theft with new biometric Social Security cards, and
    4. Require all States to issue biometric Drivers Licenses and Concealed Handgun Licenses with biometric cards, and
    5. Issue biometric national identification cards to all unannounced, non-visa visitors to the U.S.
    6. Mandatory proof of health care and disability insurance for everyone, including those vacationing in the U.S. (even if coverage is only for the length of vacation stay)
    7. Make health care pricing low and fair regardless of patient financial status, and allow everyone access to lower insurance premiums currently offered only to large employer health plans
    8. Mandatory health savings and escrow account at the financial intuition of policy holder’s choice
    9. Provide for fully monitored national borders without a wall
    15. Provide for full federal investigation of all stolen cell phones with fraudulent charges on the account.

  • Peter Borah

    (cont)

    19. Raise the minimum wage by retroactively indexing it to Congressional pay increases since 1938

    20. Put an annual interest rate cap of 10% on all consumer debt
    21. Require mediation for before consumer credit collection action
    22. Require credit card companies to cover all accounts with credit insurance,
    23. Allow IRS to make extremely low interest rate consumer loans
    25. Require all States to provide one year of automatic unemployment benefits to those separating from employers which are currently required to participate in the system
    26. Make military service pay competitive with civilian pay and provide for uniform good quality, local code-compliant, energy-efficient base housing at all U.S. bases
    30. Require legal guardians of all minors to carry kidnap and ransom insurance policies for the minors. Make cash payments of any ransom illegal, kidnappers must deal with police and insurance company representatives only

  • Peter Borah

    (cont)

    31. Ban the corporate farming and production of all tobacco products, since lung cancer treatment expenses are now a direct burden on the States
    32. Ban on corporate production of alcohol for consumption

    What kind of Libertarian wants to ban tobacco and alchohol and raise the minimum wage?

  • http://www.myspace.com/liberty_activist White Marriott

    Mr. Jameson seems to believe in a lot of government mandates! Mandatory insurance?! Most of the people in the medical industry do nothing but government and insurance paper work… which is the major cost in the price of healthcare.

    Then there is all the money transferred through the lobbyists etc.

  • Michelle Shinghal

    I know Scott. He is a libertarian no matter how poorly worded his platform is. He and I argued over how the platform statements were written( esp. tobacco)last week. I appreciate that he qualified his mandatory health insurance statement by saying that it was not libertarian. I appreciate that he plugged other TX libertarian candidates in his closing statements. I think he handled Iraq in a good way- he said that he gets his news on TV and internet and without having viewed the classified docs he could not speak intelligently on the issue. His support for a wall, in form of NOLA levees only, was good. Scott appeared nervous but seemed to be a bit better toward the end. I was on the phone with SG for the middle of the debate and will have to go review the entire debate. I will come back with more opinion afterward.

  • Peter Borah

    Michelle, so if it’s badly worded, what’s his actual position on raising the minimum wage and banning the production of tobacco and alchohol?

  • Michelle Shinghal

    I did not want to speak for Scott so I talked to him again tonight about these issues. He said that his beef is essentially with corporatations and their protections. He believes that corporatations influence politics and that they should have many burdens as non people. He thinks that on an individual level, one should be free to negotiate their wage/compensation. He thinks that if a corp. receives tax breaks and relaxed rules, they should pay much higher than the average American for services. It is my opinion that he wishes to return to a true free market by encouraging people to start true independent businesses which hire at real free market rates, rather than allow mega corporations benefit from low min. wage and high tax advantage.

  • Zander C

    I *do* think indexing the Minimum Wage to Congressional Pay increases is a brilliant idea.

  • bac

    Biometrics is a tricky thing to get right. Done wrong and you will have a personal injury nightmare. Using biomtrics for passwords is fine but using biometrics for identity verification can be very bad. If criminals learn how to fake finger prints and retina patterns, how does one go about getting replacements?

  • Julian

    FUNNY!

  • http://www.lpalabama.org/blog/14 paulie cannoli

    posts 6-7

    :-(

  • http://www.duoism.org a Duoist

    Michelle, from your explanation of Mr. Jameson’s political positions, he does not follow any actual libertarian economic philosophy as promulgated by Hayek, von Mises, Machan, or Narveson. Instead, he offers a point of view that is decidedly grounded in the ‘leveling’ ethic of socialism.

    However, despite being a candidate for public office, perhaps Mr. Jameson is simply unfamiliar with economic theory, libertarian or otherwise, and is simply a populist; and like all populists, makes an appeal for votes based upon his personal ignorance.

    And libertarians wonder WHY they can not attract many more intelligent, mainstream voters?

  • Michelle Shinghal

    Again, Scott and I argued over his platform a week ago. I have to say that my view is clouded. I like Scott. I know how hard he works to get the libertarian banner out there. I may be described (now) by some as a purist, but I understand Scott.

    When I first joined the Libertarian Party, I thought, this is a great idea as long as we can keep the potheads off TV. The druggies and freaks make it bad for us.

    I have since studied and I know that it is the druggie and freak that are most important. They are individuals attempting to live their lives freely. Scott may not be where I am, and I may not be as smart (or dumb) as he, but he threw his hat into the ring when I (and many of you) didn’t. I do not agree with everything Scott says, but I know that Scott is still seeking to learn. That is more than I can say for the Republicrats. We do evolve. We learn. There is no perfect libertarian candidate because a perfect libertarian life is unique to the individual.

  • http://www.duoism.org a Duoist

    A capitalist says, ‘Find a need, and fill it.’ A poliical party says, ‘This is what we believe, choose us.’

    What is it that the Libertarian Party believes in, which accounts for such paucity (9%!) of public support? When it fields candidates who argue for legislation that is completely contrary to core libertarian beliefs, what is the unintended message actually being sent to the electorate?

    Ideological ‘purity’ is not something much in demand by mainstream voters, as both major parties include successful candidates who have expressed some beliefs contrary to their party’s positions. Yet, every successful politician of either major party knows how critically important it is to voters that their candidate share the articulated core values of the political party.

    When candidates stray from core values of their party, the electorate sends them into political oblivion for being opportunistic, or worse, for being intellectually confused.

    ‘Be free,’ Michelle.

  • http://www.myspace.com/liberty_activist White Marriott

    Michelle,

    Once again, I think you handled that discussion well. I was quite excited to see a Libertarian in a state-wide debate. You are right about stepping up to the plate… I’d love to have had his chance at that debate; however, there is no way in the world I could see myself doing any of the other things it would take to run for the US Senate.

    I kept wanting him to point out how rude they were being for using the phrase “my opponent” as if he were not only not in the race, but not in the room!

    Fortunately, Mr. Jameson’s opponents, despite their decent stage presence, had nothing intelligent to say.