If a pro-war tax loving Democratic Senator gets into a drinking contest with a pro-war freedom hating Republican Senator, who will win? We may never find out, because “What happens in Estonia stays in Estonia.” Here’s the scoop:
That would have been in the summer of 2004 in Estonia where, according to The New York Times, the margin of victory was not votes, but shots of vodka.
The instigator of the after-dinner contest, the Times reported for its Saturday editions, was Clinton, D-N.Y. McCain, R-Ariz., readily agreed.
It’s sort of hard to imagine the two of them doing vodka shots and I’m a bit curious about the conversation. Assuming they followed the rules established by Modern Drunkard for such occasions, it might have proven interesting indeed.
I’m curious about whether they toasted dead U.S. soldiers or dead Iraqis to apply rules two and three:
2. Always toast before doing a shot.
3. Whoever buys the shot gets the first chance to offer a toast.
The “strange woman” part caught my eye:
6. Buying a strange woman a drink is still cool. Buying all her drinks is dumb.
These probably don’t apply:
14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.
15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.
16. If she buys you a drink, she likes you.
because this rule probably does:
33. The only thing that tastes better than free liquor is stolen liquor.
The mental image of this one is certainly funny:
46. After three drinks, you will forget a woman’s name two seconds after she tells you. The rest of the night you will call her “baby” or “darling”.
Politicians lie? Never!
54. Never lie in a bar. You may, however, grossly exaggerate and lean.
The mental image of this one is somewhat revolting:
85. On the intimacy scale, sharing a quiet drink is between a handshake and a kiss.
Whatever the case, if they both end up being the presidential nominees for their respective parties, we can be assured that we’ll merely be trading Skull and Crossbones connections for drinking buddy ties.