Ann Coulter’s Gender: Inquiring Minds Still Want to Know

coulteradamsapple.jpgWhen an article begins like this, I’ve got to read the whole thing:

What was that sound on the phone just now? A NSA goon slurping his coffee? We are all wondering if that is static we hear on the line today or Big Brother. And we have also learned that Big Brother has a sister, and her name is Ann Coulter.

Melinda Pillsbury-Foster was writing about Ann Coulter acknowledging the covert NeoCon war on Americans. While the topic is interesting, it’s this little gem that had me LMAO:

Is Ann Coulter a female? While the answer would appear to be obvious; she is after all, blond, curvy, and attractive, real affirmation is not in evidence. Coulter is a fag hag, her best friends are gay. She has never married or evidently been in a long term relationship and she has had no children and is nearly menopausal.

So is she or isn’t she female? Rumors includes the titillating piece of gossip that she might not really know herself. Coulter could have been born with both and had her parents pick wrong. It happens. That would explain the hysterically violent tone in her writing and other signs noted elsewhere. So how can Coulter prove her gender?

I suggest that we turn to the Daughters of the American Revolution. They can oversee a DNA test that will settle the question This is appropriate because Ann is a member of that rectitudinous body and if the lovely Ann is not really female the DAR would certainly want to know that so her membership could be shifted to the Sons of the American Revolution. That would made for interesting meetings.

Inquiring minds want to know and all it takes is a swab from the inside of the mouth, not nearly as intrusive as Ann’s rhetoric I might add.

Hey, Ann, come on. Give us a pic. We want to know if NeoCons really have balls or not.

posted May 18th, 2006 by Stephen Gordon
  • Devious David

    Or maybe get a hair sample. Maybe we could get someone who is at a speaking engagment or book signing.

    I like to engage in amateur pyschoanalysis and it turns out I’m generally pretty good.

    Ann Coulter is either pandering to the right wing radio set, Republican sycophant group for sake of a career/finance despite whatever she really beleives, OR she is a deeply troubled and perverted evil person. In the gender bend issue, were she a hermaphrodite, I would say that she could harbor an awful lot of resentment and anger and being a hate filled Republican nutjob is her way of dealing with it. She gets reinforcment by all the other nuts that take her seriously and tell her how great she is and buy her merchandise. There’s no way to get around the fact that something truly sick and nasty is going on.

  • Graham

    “curvy, and attractive”

    Huh? She looks like the guy who was all over Oprah, People magazine,etc who was married for several years with kids and decided to become a woman. No one I don’t remember his/her name, but the story was all over the place. He went from a slightly effeminate man to looking like he could be Ann Coulter’s sister.

  • Daniel

    When I was reading this I was frankly annoyed. Who cares about Ann Coulter not being married, not having kids and having gay friends. And then the irony hit me. Conservatives always tell us how our families should or shouldn’t be, that marriage is good and that not having children is “selfish”.

    Another part I disliked about this article is the idea that men and women write differently. Granted, some studies may show differences among sexes, but it is individuals I always judge on their own merits no matter what group they belong to. Judging people not as individuals but as memebers of a group is nothing more than collectivism.

  • John

    And exactly what is your beef with Ann Coulter? What exactly is it she has written that you you have problems with? She’s smart and shes right so you resort to name calling and accusations of homosexuality.

  • undercover_anarchist

    I find it suprising that Coulter is a, quote, “fag hag.” Then again, she also said that Al Franken was her good friend, to Franken’s alarming surprise.

    And I take exception to the “curvy and attractive” bit. I mean… For a tranny, yes. For a actual real-life woman? Um, no.

    I cannot speak for the author of this article, but I can guess a few reasons he might have a problem with Ms(r). Coulter. She’s a big government statist, she’s racist, she’s a war hawk, she loves Bush, etc. Those aren’t even intelligent, well-reasoned, or documented reasons. They’re just off the top of the head, obvious, no-brainer ones.

    Good day.

  • Daniel

    Now that we are on the subject of Ann Coulter:

    Read My Lips: No New Amnesty

    Even a broken watch is right twice a day.

  • Paul Pace

    Research I’ve done seems to indicate that Ann Coulter is, in fact, a vampyre. One of the old ones, as well, since she is a daywalker.

  • http://www.tom-hanna.org tom Hanna

    I thought she was dating Matt Drudge.

  • undercover_anarchist

    Drudge is “blinded by the right,” what Jackie Jr. would call a “secret fag.”

  • John

    OK I’ll bite. Of all the books and opinion pieces she has written, what proof, statements, quotes, do you offer that:
    she’s a big government statist:
    she’s racist:
    she’s a war hawk:
    she loves Bush:
    Why don’t you try reading a few of her opinion pieces or books .

  • John

    No brainer is right. but YOU are the one without the brain, not Ann. And, If you dont think she’s a hot babe, then YOU are the fag! http://www.anncoulter.com/cgi-local/photo.cgi?image=ann_berlin.jpg

  • undercover_anarchist

    I can’t cite anything, but I know one of her big issues was pro racial profiling of “Arab-looking” people in response to 911.

    This is big government statist, racist… She supports the war in Iraq, so that satisfies that… I guess maybe she doesn’t love Bush, as per a link someone posted her where she advocated his impeachment.

    And yes, I’m the “fag.” Such a fag that I do in fact want to have sex with Mann Coulter. What kind of position would it take in order for her Adam’s apple to simulate my prostate?

  • blowmedown

    So why don’t you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?
    I could show you my favourite obsession.
    I’ve been making a man with blond hair and a tan
    And he’s good for relieving my tension

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  • http://onemanbandwidth.com/wordpress Lon

    John,

    It is time to get those glasses fixed.

    Great spoof. It WAS a spoof, wasn’t it?

    Greetings from behind the Great Firewall.

    L

  • http://HammerofTruth susan

    Just want to say, I find Ann Coulter to be pure evil. I pick
    up vibes from pictures of her very similar to vibes I pick
    up from a picture of Adolf Hitler. The woman is a facist.
    She is hate-filled. She has no empathy for the average guy
    trying to make it in this economy where the billionaires are
    getting carte blanche to become trillionaires. No empathy for
    the people dying on the streets in Iraq. No understanding that
    the rest of the world already hates us. Nuke North Korea and
    we will be more hated. Godless is her next book? Very fitting,
    as the woman is Godless, in fact she comes off as quite
    Satanic. She is the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler…pure and
    simple.

  • http://www.godless.com Drew Stepek

    GODLESS title “hijacked” by Ann Coulter: Christian-right celebrity and author to release book on 6/6/6 which conflicts with established book by the same name. Atheist author Drew Stepek prepares for literary “Holy War.”

    Los Angeles, CA, May 16th, 2006

    Author Drew Stepek, whose book entitled GODLESS has been registered with the Library of Congress since 2001 and who has owned the popular web destination http://www.godless.com since 2000, has just been informed that Ann Coulter will release a book with the title GODLESS on June 6th, 2006.

    Although principle dissuades Drew Stepek from taking legal action against Coulter, he feels Coulter’s book perverts and sucks the love out of religion and the open space of the Godless, which is free of prejudices and the burdens of myth. Stepek’s book is about the death of God in our society and how it leads an individual down a path of self-destruction, whereas Coulter’s book is a stab at the Democratic and Liberal society of the Godless.

  • Claudia

    I find her smug, unconcerned about the accuracy of any of the bile she spills, and obviously someone who has never stopped to consider how she harms others with her words and actions. Hmmm, a case of testosterone poisoning? Interesting hypothesis.

  • Tom Lindner

    I don’t care if Ann has an adam’s apple or not, b/c she obviously has a working brain and a spine, which is more than her heckler’s have. Gee, I thought “liberals” were suppose to have the monopoly on “tolerance.” But without working brains and spines, I guess they can’t do much else then attack her with jokes about her gender. They have their heads so far up their butts that the toxins are eating away at the grey matter. And in this position(possible only by the fact they have no backbones), they look like a bunch of big fat zeros.
    So the difference between liberals and conservatives is quite plain: though both can throw personal jabs, only conservatives have the power of reason. Hey Ann, I’ll take you to dinner (and more) anytime!!!

  • Stephen Gordon

    Tom,

    Point one, the only thing liberal about this site is that we are classical liberals.

    Point two, if conservatives have such outstanding powers of reason, please explain this.

  • Tom Lindner

    Wow, my posting actually rated a response from the moderator/editor himself. Must have touched a nerve, or should I say synapse.
    Well Mr. Gordon, maybe you should define “classical liberal” for the benefit of your readers. Or maybe you already have given us a glimpse of how your mind works (or doesn’t) by posting that vicious article about Ann Coulter and circling the supposed adam’s apple in her picture. Is that what “classical liberalism” is all about? Very sad, indeed.
    Tell me, did Ann Coulter ever attack YOU personally? Only then might she deserve your vitriol.
    As to point two, Bill O’Reilly is not the conservative darling that the mainstream media portrays him as being. They will attack anyone who “appears” to be less liberal then themselves. More to the point is the apparent tendency for liberals to respond emotionally, rather than rationally, when their arguments face rigorous scrutiny.

  • Stephen Gordon

    Yo Linder,

    Obviously the concepts of satire and humor are beyond you.

    Here’s one definition of classical liberalism, BTW.

  • Tom Lindner

    (cont.)
    Watch the next ten debates between a liberal and conservative and see who resorts to personal jabs first.
    (e.g. Edward’s comments about Cheney’s lesbian daughter).
    Yes, its an age-old tactic to smear your opponent’s character, but its still odious, and certainly more emotional than rational.

  • Tom Lindner

    “Obviously the concepts of satire and humor are beyond you.”

    So now you’ve proven my point by attacking me. Congratulations!

  • Stephen Gordon

    I fail to understand this difference between what are today called liberals and conservatives. Both support expanding and intrusive government.

    Perhaps there is one difference. Conservatives seem to grow government at a faster rate.

  • Tom Lindner

    Fiscally speaking, there probably isn’t much difference. But on social issues, like abortion, the differences are more transparent, and are more indicative of how liberals use emotional appeal rather than reason.

  • Carmen Corrigan

    Ann Coulter’s stupidity is designed to attract curiosity and the long- past ability to ”shock and awe”. Her comments have no impact on reality and are irrelevant. 911 widows have it all over her. And to regard her as a NUT CASE may call for appologies to NUT CASES everywhere.

  • lamont cranston

    Enough already!! You’ve all fallen for it.S(he)slaughing all the way to the bank!!