With the 2006 LP convention around the corner, I figured I’d tackle an issue of concern to many Libertarians-the pledge.
Currently the pledge reads as follows:
“I do not believe in or advocate the initiation of force as a means of achieving political or social goals.”
Now, let’s stop and think about this. The Democrats, Republicans, Greens, Constitutionalists… they all don’t have a pledge. This isn’t something most political parties do. Who does have pledges, though? Most religions have some sort of pledge or initiation rite, most secret societies… yeah. We’re a political party, kids. At least we should be.
But, you know, I could be wrong. Maybe we aren’t. Maybe we’re a debating club. Maybe we should have secret Libertarian decoder rings, as Tim West jokes. But if we’re gonna keep the pledge, I think that the pro-pledge forces should at least be more honest about their intentions. Here’s my idea for a more honest pledge that would more accurately reflect what the Libertarian Party is trying to do, if we go down that road:
I believe in Locke, the writer almighty,
The creator of Liberty’s words,
And in Ayn Rand, his only heir, our lord:Who has conceived of Objectivism,
Born of Soviet Russia,
Suffered under the cult of the omnipotent state,
Wrote “Atlas Shrugged,” died, and was buried.It descended unto obscurity and ridicule.
On the third printing it rose again from the dead.
It ascended unto the bestseller lists,
And sits at the right hand of Lady Liberty,
Whence she shall come to judge the moderate Libertarians as statist bastards.I believe in the free market,
The holy Libertarian Party,
The non-initiation of force,
The forgiveness of drug crimes,
The resurrection of the US Constitution,
And the rights to life, liberty, and property everlasting.Amen.


